I am confused about this gender binary thing.

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WheatenLover

WheatenLover

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How can a man want to be called "she" (or they/them) and not be transgender? (Man on the outside, woman on the inside, I guess.)

Why do the people I know make a federal case out of it when I accidentally refer to a gender binary person as he or she? I'm trying not to do that, but my explanation that he's and she's were males and females for the majority of my life is waved off. I am trying super hard to remember how to refer to different people, who seem to all have different pronouns they prefer.

What is gender binary, anyway? I know of a guy whose name is Zero because he has no gender.

I guess I don't grok this. Will someone fill me in? None of these young people can explain it coherently. All I know is that it has nothing to do with sexuality. Some are gay, some are bisexual, some are transgender, and some are straight.
 
I haven't run across that yet in my life, I guess I will need to watch some YouTube videos about it. There is one person at work who had a sex-change, but we just are switching from calling her a 'he' to a 'she'. But I am glad that English is gender neutral for objects, it would be super hard to be speaking a language where objects are masculine or feminine and then have to change the names of everything to neutral names.
 
It’s a tough one to remember the correct name (it’s been changed), let alone the gender. One of the grandkids is transitioning. When I made a mistake, the parents both snapped the correction even though I had already corrected myself. A couple of days later I used the wrong name again, apologized, and the kid wasn’t bothered - said it was ok.

Unless someone has transitioned, I feel no need to use a neutral term.
 
i'm not totally clear on it myself, since it is all so fluid--in 'flux' as people come up with ways to define themselves. A longtime ally of LGBT community both in principle and because i have friends who are part of it, i struggled some as letters got added to that--and in fact know some members of that community who have trouble keeping up with the new descriptors. But for me as with everything else the bottom line is "A soul is a soul, regardless of packaging."

Often one doesn't know until someone corrects us. i usually just say--'It is all changing and i'm fine with whatever you want to call yourself, and will try to remember but do keep in mind it's not like you're wearing a visible label that specifies what you want to be known as--clothes and hairstyles are no longer reliable clues.

When i worked HR (Employee Database Management person) i once went to restroom and wept tears of frustration that i could not give a transgender young woman an ID that listed her preferred name and gender until i had a legal document supporting the change. A couple of months later i wept tears of joy for her and yes quite 'unprofessionally' hugged her when she brought the papers and i could make the change for her.

One thing not a lot of people, especially Boomers and older, are acknowledging is the growing openness about being asexual, which in modern western culture is perhaps the least understandable variation of sexual identification. Asexual people may form strong emotional bonds but sexual attraction is not a primary factor as it is for most folks of other persuasions. Some have no sex drive, some have very low hard to stimulate/engage libidos and others are actually repulsed by sex i've read.

Genetics and body chemistry are factors in most varieties of humans. Certainly in some Asexuality. During my reproductive years i was driven by my libido. Once they were absolutely over, i became basically Asexual. While i can still recognize and appreciate human 'attractiveness' sex itself has no appeal for me at this point. My lifestyle, and to some extent my age, makes it unnecessary for me to do anything to alert random strangers in public of my 'status' as such. Most young'uns don't like to think about older people having sex anyway.
 
Jules said:
It’s a tough one to remember the correct name (it’s been changed), let alone the gender. One of the grandkids is transitioning. When I made a mistake, the parents both snapped the correction even though I had already corrected myself. A couple of days later I used the wrong name again, apologized, and the kid wasn’t bothered - said it was ok.

Unless someone has transitioned, I feel no need to use a neutral term.
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The parents are likely overcompensating for their own difficulties, trying to be supportive forgetting they are with the child more often. Your grandchild probably understands that it's similar to when a kid outgrows a family nickname they've had from babyhood because they want to be more 'grown up', it generally takes a while for extended family members to remember.

Shoot, one of my siblings (the eldest) called me by family nickname till she died. (I was 65-66 yrs old at the time) but i knew for her it was affectionate. Another called me it quite intentionally when she wanted to try to exert any kind of influence over me, and by my given name other times.

As @Aunt Bea said in comment #5 "The folks that make an issue of it seem to have a chip on their shoulder or some type of an agenda unrelated to me and my bumbling comments."
 
WheatenLover said:
Will someone fill me in? None of these young people can explain it coherently. All I know is that it has nothing to do with sexuality. Some are gay, some are bisexual, some are transgender, and some are straight.
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Please re-read your post, carefully. You talk about gay, bisexual, transgender and straight. How can that possibly have nothing to do with sexuality?
It is a minefield and I do understand that you do not want to cause grief through misunderstanding, and you do not,
WheatenLover said:
What is gender binary, anyway? I know of a guy whose name is Zero because he has no gender.
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Binary: relating to, composed of, or involving two things. So gender binary means having an inclination to both sexes. There are some people born with both reproductive organs. For the importance of decency I cannot depict photos of such, but if you are inclined to observe, then go to: https://thoughtcatalog.com/jim-goad/2015/11/10-biological-sex-deformities-with-photos/
 
Ok Feywon, I may have a limited view of this. I admit I don't understand Asexuality at all!
I am truly MORE licentious as I grew older!
I am trying to understand this BUT I DON'T!
I have to say my words stand as written! There are only two sexes!
"Girls were girls and men were men!"
Anything else are sexual deviations and why are we so accepting of this?
and no, I don't have a "chip on my shoulder" because I believe in two sexes!
 
Gaer said:
Ok Feywon, I may have a limited view of this. I admit I don't understand Asexuality at all!
I am truly MORE licentious as I grew older!
I am trying to understand this BUT I DON'T!
I have to say my words stand as written! There are only two sexes!
"Girls were girls and men were men!"
Anything else are sexual deviations and why are we so accepting of this?
and no, I don't have a "chip on my shoulder" because I believe in two sexes!
You can't just call people names for not believing the way you believe.
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It's something we'll have to agree to disagree on. For me souls have no gender, that is something of the physical plane of existence. During my perimenopause (likely brought on by having tubes tied after birth of DD) my libido kind of roller coastered up and and down--when it was up it rivaled my drive during the 60s and 70s. But once i went full menopausal and last marriage collapsed--despite my being sexual with him until certain crucial issues like fidelity and possibility of him bringing home an STD came up. i found myself feeling very different. But that's just me.

However i do want to clarify that both Aunt Bea's 'chip on shoulder' comment (as i understood it) and my referral to it were not at all aimed at YOU but rather at those whose get upset about honest mistakes that the person who made really didn't have much to go on (like if a big burly bearded man is wearing a frilly dress how can you be sure whether 'they' want to be called sir or m'am'), or you've only just learned of that person's wishes after years of knowing them under another name or identification.

Edit: you said "Anything else are sexual deviations..." so even someone now asexual like me is a "sexual deviant"? But that name calling is ok because it is accepted and supported by a supposed majority? All these variations have likely always been with humanity but people are being more open about them now.
 
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horseless carriage said:
Please re-read your post, carefully. You talk about gay, bisexual, transgender and straight. How can that possibly have nothing to do with sexuality?
It is a minefield and I do understand that you do not want to cause grief through misunderstanding, and you do not,

Binary: relating to, composed of, or involving two things. So gender binary means having an inclination to both sexes. There are some people born with both reproductive organs. For the importance of decency I cannot depict photos of such, but if you are inclined to observe, then go to: https://thoughtcatalog.com/jim-goad/2015/11/10-biological-sex-deformities-with-photos/
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And further complicating everything is the fact that gender identification and sexual orientation are not intrinsically linked. One can be a transgender female and still prefer female sex partner or be bisexual. i have a very intelligent, educated transgender female cyber friend who was married to a man for many years after her transition, but after his death she fell in love with another woman and they are married now.
 
The pronoun stuff is the part that I find impossible. Not because I am supportive or against people being transgender, I just find it impossible to speak English, referring to a single person as "they."

"His daughter said that they are coming to visit him next week." So his daughter is plural?

The Washington Post has changed to this kind of pronoun use, and I sometimes get utterly confused when reading an article. "This artist is showing their work at this gallery next week." (Strangely, this does work when we don't know who the artist is.) Whose work? Being politically correct is one thing, but this is so confusing that I don't think it will ever catch on.

And it's silly. When talking to the transgender individual, we would say, "You" anyway, so what's the big deal about he, she, and they?
 
Gaer said:
The youth of today is going to be so confused.
This is the most idiotic thing they have ever come up with!
There are TWO genders; male and female!
All this mis-gendering are sexual deviations and delusions!
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Yeah, I'm there

Seems things swung the wrong way when this Book began to be neglected;

The Bible.jpg

And this book began to be popular;

freud.jpg




One doesn't need to be a biblical scholar to see what's happening.

Shades of Sodom, and the days of Noah.

Can't last at this rate

Matthew 24:37

King James Version

But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.​



Not gonna be good
 
WheatenLover said:
I am confused about this gender binary thing.
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I've heard the term, but since it does not touch my life I'm not all that curious.

Every few years terminology gets changed for many things, "buzz words" come and go, language usage evolves constantly.
I use a lot of "archaic terms" common from my youth that people even in their mid fifties don't understand...I have to consciously screen those from my speech, unless I want to invite a side conversation on the meaning and origin of those terms.
 
Nathan said:
I've heard the term, but since it does not touch my life I'm not all that curious.
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The English prefixes bi-, derived from Latin, and its Greek variant di- both mean “two.” The Latin prefix is far more prevalent in common words, such as bilingual, biceps, biped and as we are discussing, bisexual; the more technical Greek di- appears in such words as diphthong and dilemma.
 
horseless carriage said:
Please re-read your post, carefully. You talk about gay, bisexual, transgender and straight. How can that possibly have nothing to do with sexuality?
It is a minefield and I do understand that you do not want to cause grief through misunderstanding, and you do not,

Binary: relating to, composed of, or involving two things. So gender binary means having an inclination to both sexes. There are some people born with both reproductive organs. For the importance of decency I cannot depict photos of such, but if you are inclined to observe, then go to: https://thoughtcatalog.com/jim-goad/2015/11/10-biological-sex-deformities-with-photos/
Click to expand...
Well, some of the gender binary people are bisexual, some are gay, some are straight, etc. They look at their sexuality as being separate from their being gender binary. So they tell me, I am gender binary and I am also bisexual, for example.

These folks are all under age 27, and many are college students.
 
horseless carriage said:
The English prefixes bi-, derived from Latin, and its Greek variant di- both mean “two.” The Latin prefix is far more prevalent in common words, such as bilingual, biceps, biped and as we are discussing, bisexual; the more technical Greek di- appears in such words as diphthong and dilemma.
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They are not all bisexual.
 
Sunny said:
The pronoun stuff is the part that I find impossible. Not because I am supportive or against people being transgender, I just find it impossible to speak English, referring to a single person as "they."

"His daughter said that they are coming to visit him next week." So his daughter is plural?

The Washington Post has changed to this kind of pronoun use, and I sometimes get utterly confused when reading an article. "This artist is showing their work at this gallery next week." (Strangely, this does work when we don't know who the artist is.) Whose work? Being politically correct is one thing, but this is so confusing that I don't think it will ever catch on.

And it's silly. When talking to the transgender individual, we would say, "You" anyway, so what's the big deal about he, she, and they?
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Yes, remembering to use they and them to refer to a single person is not automatic for me. My daughter corrects me consistently when we are talking about her friends who identify as being gender binary. That drives me nuts. I am trying hard, and she knows that, but can't keep her mouth shut.
 
Gary O' said:
Yeah, I'm there

Seems things swung the wrong way when this Book began to be neglected;

View attachment 195448

And this book began to be popular;

View attachment 195447




One doesn't need to be a biblical scholar to see what's happening.

Shades of Sodom, and the days of Noah.

Can't last at this rate

Matthew 24:37​

​

King James Version​

​

But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.​



Not gonna be good
Click to expand...
Amen! Thank you for your courage to speak the truth. Such sad times we are living in. I pray I'll still be here to see the coming of Jesus again. What a devastating time it will be for unbelievers. I pray that all these "misguided" people are forgiven and the truly wicked are punished.
 
Just wanted to insert this:

Gender binary
Gender binary is the classification of gender into two distinct, opposite forms of masculine and feminine, whether by social system or cultural belief. Most cultures use a gender binary, having two genders. Wikipedia
Click to expand...
 
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