I am praying if anything happen to my hubby I can keep my house...

[StarSong]

Please be careful. and don't sell yet... I'll try to find one of my posts on the subject.

Okay... back.... here's a link to one of my blogs that may help explain what could happen....

On keeping the house....

Please take the time to understand what could happen.

@Tom Young, I read your link. For those who haven't, it's a stark reminder that equity in one's primary residence is an excludable asset from consideration when filing for gov't assistance (Medicaid type) with nursing home bills.

First example is a couple who sold their residence for $280K, then downsized to a $35K mobile home, intending the difference to serve as their nest egg.

Three years later the wife's worsening Alzheimer's required nursing home care at $65K per year. They had virtually no liquid assets other than the $245K in equity, which was eaten up by five years of nursing home care. The husband was permitted to shield his car, $40K in cash, and non-cash life insurance, but all else was spent on wife's care. Husband now survives on SS.

Next example is another wife who developed Alz. Children were lawyers but not elder law specialists and didn't refer father to those specialists. Foolish father followed foolish children's very poor advice and tried to cheat the government (that's you and me, folks) from requiring this couple to put all their assets on the table.

Father gifted their children some $200K, didn't admit it when filing paperwork for gov't assistance, got caught when NY did the 5 year asset lookback, was prosecuted and convicted. It cost those same kids $150K in legal fees to keep father out of jail. No mention of whether the kids had to cough back up at least part of these "gifts." Mother died after five years in nursing care, father died at 78, the stress of above hastening his passing.

My first question: What he heck kind of crappy lawyers were these? My attorney friends and relatives begin all casual advice with "I'm not a specialist in this field, but will tell you my recollections from one semester that partly covered it. Please do not take my word as gospel. I'm going to refer you to someone who knows the area well."

Comment: Lookback periods vary from state to state. California's is currently 3 years.

Tom, I agree fully with you that an elder care attorney's advice is crucial when navigating such tricky waters. Your point is well made that it's not necessarily a brilliant move to cash out home equity. Large bank balances may help one sleep at night, but they are also easily attached, stolen, scammed, or otherwise lost.

I will further state that example number two is precisely why there is a lookback period. How dare that father and his kids conspire against the rest of us to shield his & his wife's attachable assets while spending ours?

 

[Liberty]

What Star Song said is so true. Just acted as a sounding board for a "God daughter" who has been helping her mom. Her mom (my oldest and best friend) has brittle bone. She has fractured several vertebrae and spent some months in a skilled nursing center. Long story short...she has power of attorney and was forced to "spend down" to qualify for Medicaid and sign over property that has an income producing cell phone tower on it. This is in Ohio.

Now her mom is back home - who knows for how long - as she has fractured yet another vertebra and needs it plus the one next to it to be "cemented", so she may or may not be able to repay Medicaid and not live out her life and die in a nursing home. Her daughter saw a good lawyer and indicated on the paperwork that her mom "wished to return" to her home. They won't take the home or other property until she dies, if she owes Medicaid for it.

There are some things that can be done. Consult a good estate attorney on this. Living in your home after the spouse is in a nursing home and/or dies, requires the remaining spouse to foot the bills. That is a given.

 

[charry]

thats my worry all the time !!

 

[Camper6]

I wonder about that also. My hubby is in good health but is 7 years older than I am. Right now my son lives nearby and really does a lot of maintenance on the house.

I really don't want to depend on him should my hubby pass before me and I'm not sure I can afford to live here.

I don't want to go into an apartment or senior living area. I'm not a joiner,like my privacy and certainly don't want anyone living with me in my existing home.

My daughter will help me as well but they travel so much and don't stay in one spot for very long.

I have no answers so I try not to dwell on it. Time will tell.

The thing to do is to get everything shipshape now.
Mostly the outside which is susceptible to the weather.
The roof. Chimney. Anything that can be damaged.
A new furnace or air conditioner or anything that is essential.
That will allow you to live comfortably for a longer time and even adds value to the house for finance purposes.
It's easy to hire someone to cut the grass or for outside chores.

 

[terry123]

I would not want a 4 bedroom house with a mortgage. Sell that place and buy a smaller two bedroom, two bath home or build one. I would be worried about the legal problems also of having someone living in the home with me. I have a 2 bedroom 2 bath condo and pay a monthly maint fee. Some years it has gone down. I am free from the worrying about cutting the grass etc. Used to enjoy the yard work but am very limited now to do it. The staff at the condo office have gotten to be friends. We ask about family members and they pay special attention to the few of us that are handicapped. They bring my mail to me and will get my trash if I place it on my patio. I get them gift cards at Christmas as they do things for me that they are not obligated to do otherwise. My condo and car are paid off so that helps.

 

[Mike]

Ladybj, teh only thing to worry about right now is:-

Are both you and your husband insured separately
for an amount of dollars that will clear you mortgage
and any tax liability that might come if you receive a
large insurance payout?

The rest are academic and small problems compared to
the financial security one.

Mike.

 

[Lethe200]

>>Are both you and your husband insured separately
for an amount of dollars that will clear you(r) mortgage
and any tax liability that might come if you receive a
large insurance payout? >>

I believe life insurance proceeds are not assessed income tax. It's one of the rare tax advantages available to all, not just the wealthy.

If the insurance policy is payable to the estate, then the proceeds are taxable. If it is a variable or universal life policy, interest paid is taxable.

 

[Ladybj]

This is one of the things that I worry about. My husband is much better at taking care of things than I could ever be, and if he should die, then I would not be able to take care of the house. We don’t own the house, so selling it and purchasing something smaller is not an option for me.
My plan would be to look for low-income housing and get a small studio/1 bedroom apartment, and sell my vehicle also.

It is scary to think about not having a car, but even scarier to think about it breaking down somewhere away from home, and being alone. Also, I would not have to pay for car license, driver license, or car insurance, and that would give me more money to live on.
If I get a monthly bus pass, I should be able to get places I absolutely had to get to, and there is always Uber if the bus won’t work.

I can order most things online, and learn to use something like Instacart for most of the groceries I would need, so when I went grocery shopping with the city bus, I would not need to carry home much besides my fresh veggies and salad greens.

I would like a place that had a fitness area, but not likely to find that in the low-income apartments, but I think that I can just take the bus and go to the fitness center that we go to right now, that my Medicare pays for.

You seem to have a great plan in place. That is one thing I never thought about, selling my vehicle. But if the times comes, If need be, I would sell it. As you stated, there is Uber and Lyft and Instacart. I have used Lyft at one time and I use Instacart pretty often. In my opinion, the more you plan the less you worry. As we know, things don't always turn out as we plan, a lot of times they turn out better than we expected. I am keeping the faith. As the old saying goes, If we fail to plan, we plan to fail.

 

[Ladybj]

Time will tell indeed ladies, a friend of mine, had similar thoughts as her husband was 10 years older she was sure he would go first, then she passed away in her sixties while he is still in robust good health, unless your husband’s are ailing I would try not to spend too much time worrying about it, enjoy the time you both have left together and, as Ruth says, don’t dwell on it, none of us know what the future has in store for us.......

I'm not dwelling on it. I could very well go before him, however it was a thought for me. If I go before him, there would be nothing for me to think about. We are both enjoying each other. I am not sitting around worrying if he go before me. However, the thought has crossed my mind and it is good to have a plan in place. Just as we have vehicle insurance which some of us may/may not ever use but its there if we need it.

 

[Ladybj]

>>Are both you and your husband insured separately
for an amount of dollars that will clear you(r) mortgage
and any tax liability that might come if you receive a
large insurance payout? >>

I believe life insurance proceeds are not assessed income tax. It's one of the rare tax advantages available to all, not just the wealthy.

If the insurance policy is payable to the estate, then the proceeds are taxable. If it is a variable or universal life policy, interest paid is taxable.

I agree, I do believe life insurance is not assessed income tax. To be honest, I am not sure I would pay off my house if I came into a large sum of money. If I was younger, maybe.

 

[Ladybj]

Seems no one cares about the legal aspects... Good Luck.

What are the legal aspects?

 

[Ladybj]

I am the planning type, I like to plan what I'm doing NOW but also like to know what my PLAN B or even a plan c will be. Nothing wrong with that. Just because your husband (or you) is healthy now it does not mean it will be so forever, and death is not only due to old age, there's also accidents and illnesses.

I have a 3 bedroom 2 bath house, I planned it that way so that if I need a live-in housekeeper/caretaker they can have their own bedroom. My house and car are paid off, I have no debts, and I feel sure that living in my house with some help will be cheaper than living in a senior or assisted living place. I have a handyman that comes when called to do repairs or landscaping etc., his fees are reasonable. And his nice wife told me she's willing to help me in any way, so far I haven't needed her but the time will come I am sure.

@Ladybj it is very wise to have alternative plans, do your research and figure out what would be best for you. Being out of debt and having an adequate income is paramount, everything else, including the possibility of having roommates is secondary.

I sooooo agree!!!! My vehicle will be paid off soon. I do not plan on trading it in, that's why a few years ago, I purchased a nice vehicle. I am not in a lot of debt and do not plan on getting in debt. I have a few credit cards which I only use 2 which I keep pretty low. Once we get to a mature older age, we have to start thinking a bit different financially than we did in our younger years... I know that is the case for me. Hubby wants a new truck but I pray he change his mind. We recently purchased our house. My name will not go on the dotted line with his for a truck. Been there can write a book... not looking to go financial backwards... have to keep moving forward.

 

[Ladybj]

Speculating on possible future scenarios and responses is something that most humans indulge in from time to time. Our DNA programs us to instinctively search for "outs" when we might be cornered, whether that predator is a hungry animal or a mortgage lender.

Ladybj, it's quite reasonable to concern yourself with what might happen in the future and to have a loose plan sketched out. Whether or not you'd actually put that plan into action when and if the time came is irrelevant. The exercise itself - just knowing there are some escape hatches - are calming.

My personal plan if anything happened to my husband? I'd likely sell this house fairly quickly and move to a condo. I could afford to stay here but have no desire to keep up a 2500 SF house with a pool by myself. And as fuzzybuddy said above, houses require a lot of maintenance, time, attention, and dollars.

I agree, houses require maintenance.. which I will have someone to help with that. My house is 2500 SF also. It is good we have plans in place. With a pool, that requires a lot of maintenance all by itself. Hubby and I had a house at one time with a pool and did not want another house with a pool..too much upkeep. Yes, I may change my mind if that time comes..but for now, my plan is to stay in my home.

 

[Ladybj]

Something I think we all think about, perhaps too much ? But on the other hand, [as they say].....we probably should plan ahead better?

My concern is....everything is going along [ok] ? well what we've come to live with on a day to day basis anyway. Then suddenly we are dialing 911 , or someone else has done it for us. Depending on state laws , hospital rules,etc. We can/I could....become a ward of the state basically . I mean in too many cases the hospital becomes responsible for you, and to cover their asses , they decide where you go. And....if the situation is at all severe , it won't be go home.

At that time, strangers start making decisions for you......and in my opinion, it's all down hill from there.

One reason why I keep my gun handy.

Perhaps the best advise has already been given....try not to overthink it.

Good thought. I have a daughter and a few relatives that I would trust with my affairs. However, those are some very good thoughts. But I am looking forward to wearing my mini skirt at the age of 70...lol I know several older ladies that are doing GREAT. Living alone and have people in their life to help out. I will be one of those ladies... I will dance until I can't dance anymore

 

[Ladybj]

We've considered condos, but the HOA fees are highway robbery, plain and simple, and they will ALWAYS go up, each year, little doubt about it. If I could find an HOA contract that locks in the HOA cash grab for twenty years at a time, I might consider it. Yeah, i know, expenses go up for everything. Even so, when you consider the amount of units in a condo, the monthly cash grabs, and what's being done/not done with the same, there's no way it's a fair deal.

I definitely agree. By the time I get a condo, in a few years I will be paying total (rent and condo fee) what I am paying for my current mortgage.

 

[Ladybj]

Thank you all for your wonderful replies. Each of you have given me things to think about in the event I outlive my hubby. I am not sitting around worrying about it, it just cross my mind. And in my heart of hearts, I know I will be fine.
As I stated in replying to another post, I have a plan but plans can change...and it will be better than I expected. After being down years ago, there was no place for me to go but UP. And with the death of my sister.. I have to continue to go UP. I knew I was not going to work until the age of 65 and it worked out that I retired at the age of 56. Therefore, I will continue to trust God/Universe to guide me on my path.

 

[Ladybj]

I would not want a 4 bedroom house with a mortgage. Sell that place and buy a smaller two bedroom, two bath home or build one. I would be worried about the legal problems also of having someone living in the home with me. I have a 2 bedroom 2 bath condo and pay a monthly maint fee. Some years it has gone down. I am free from the worrying about cutting the grass etc. Used to enjoy the yard work but am very limited now to do it. The staff at the condo office have gotten to be friends. We ask about family members and they pay special attention to the few of us that are handicapped. They bring my mail to me and will get my trash if I place it on my patio. I get them gift cards at Christmas as they do things for me that they are not obligated to do otherwise. My condo and car are paid off so that helps.

Good point. When my hubby and I separated, I moved about 3 times within 3 years...getting too old for all this moving. We have been back together for almost 4 years. When we purchased this house, I feel like, this is home. I do not want to own a condo... been there, done that. I do not care for the HOA fees. When hubby and I purchased a condo years ago, at one point, they required all home owners to pay $1,000 fee because we had a bad storm and a lot of the condos had inside water damage. I have head horror stories about condo fees..however, sounds like you are doing just fine and that's what matters. I would not worry about legal issues if someone lived with me. I already have someone in mind. Bottom line, I will be just fine.

 

[Catlady]

I have a friend (55) who told me that when her retirement time comes, if she's still single and her older sister's husband has passed on, they've already planned to buy a condo and live together the rest of their lives. She does not mind or worry about the condo fees, and does not want to worry about the maintenance and landscaping for a house. We're total opposites, but I respect her opinion, to each their own. Everyone should do what works for THEM. My desire to age in place in my 3/2 house does not appeal to everyone, but I know I would not be happy renting or owning a condo. It's good for you to scope out your options now, if anything it will give you direction.

 

[StarSong]

The thing to do is to get everything shipshape now.
Mostly the outside which is susceptible to the weather.
The roof. Chimney. Anything that can be damaged.
A new furnace or air conditioner or anything that is essential.
That will allow you to live comfortably for a longer time and even adds value to the house for finance purposes.
It's easy to hire someone to cut the grass or for outside chores.

Wow! What terrific advice, Camper.

A couple of years ago a local realtor gave our home a quick walk through. We wanted to know approx value and what work, if any, needed to be done.

He quoted a higher amount than expected (nice to know) and said to not do anything because the kitchen and baths have all been recently updated. According to him, many would-be sellers sink money into unnecessary cosmetics like fresh carpet and paint before consulting a realtor.

His advice: make sure the roof is in good condition, there are no interior or exterior leaks, electrical is up to code, and HVAC is in proper working order. When ready to sell, remove all non essential furniture, ditch the knick-knacks and clutter, repaint or re-floor only if the realtor says it's necessary.

The idea is to create a space where others can envision planting themselves and their possessions. Apparently very few would-be buyers have a good imagination so it's crucial to make that step easier for them. The less stuff, the better, an empty house being the best of all.

We try to keep our realtor's prioritizing advice in mind even though we aren't seriously considering downsizing and moving quite yet.

 

[Catlady]

His advice: make sure the roof is in good condition, there are no interior or exterior leaks, electrical is up to code, and HVAC is in proper working order. When ready to sell, remove all non essential furniture, ditch the knick-knacks and clutter, repaint or re-floor only if the realtor says it's necessary.

Great advice, the less furniture and knick-knacks, the bigger the house interior looks. An empty house is better, but only if the paint and flooring look good, otherwise the buyer can see every little blemish.

 

[Ladybj]

I have a friend (55) who told me that when her retirement time comes, if she's still single and her older sister's husband has passed on, they've already planned to buy a condo and live together the rest of their lives. She does not mind or worry about the condo fees, and does not want to worry about the maintenance and landscaping for a house. We're total opposites, but I respect her opinion, to each their own. Everyone should do what works for THEM. My desire to age in place in my 3/2 house does not appeal to everyone, but I know I o

I agree.. whatever works for each individual. We have not walked in each other shoes therefore what works for you may not be in my best interest and vice versa. We do what's best for us in our Golden Years

 

[gennie]

Prayer is good but practical financial planning is better.

 

[Ladybj]

Prayer is good but practical financial planning is better.

Prayer will put financial planning all together.. Its been tested time and time again and has never failed me. There are millionaires that has lost it all. There are millionaires that has committed suicide, there are financial planners that has lost it all in the stock market, etc. I will continue to pray.

 

[StarSong]

Prayer will put financial planning all together.. Its been tested time and time again and has never failed me. There are millionaires that has lost it all. There are millionaires that has committed suicide, there are financial planners that has lost it all in the stock market, etc. I will continue to pray.

One of the oft overlooked and non-religious benefits of prayer is the time we spend focusing on what we need to sort out, and most folks tend to not point fingers at others or whine while praying or seriously meditating on a problem.