I am really tired.

Ronni

Ronni

Well-known Member
Location
Nashville TN
I’m gonna bitch and whine a bit, so bear with me, please 🙏

I’m exhausted, both physically because I’ve not been sleeping well at all, but even more so emotionally and mentally. I feel such a weight on me as I help Ron navigate his own illness, but also as I support him as he deals with his daughter’s cancer, and to a lesser degree as I help his other daughter, Sheri’s sister Krystal, deal with her own emotions.

Their Mom, Ron’s ex, isn’t the most stable person, and Krystal often turns to me for support with whatever life issues she’s dealing with. And don’t misunderstand, I’m a nurturer, a helper, and I’m always so happy to lend support, and in the moment I’m very focused on being that for loved ones. But when the dust settles, I realized how wrung out I am.

And honestly the dust hasn’t settled much at all, especially with Sheri’s ups and downs, so I don’t feel like I’ve had a moment to just breathe and decompress.

All I can think of is getting away, taking a trip, leaving my phone behind, just escaping for a little while so that I can catch my breath. And the moment things level out, even if it’s just a brief respite, that’s what I’m going to do. Our dear friends who run an Airbnb are ready at a moment’s notice to receive us, cook for us, and fuss over us.

Meanwhile I’m doing my best to find moments here and there. Hanging out with my kids, my daughter and the grands, getting a pedicure (my guilty pleasure in the warmer months) playing with the dogs, are all recharge moments for me so I’m doing those things when I can.

I just…this crap just really sucks, y’know? 😢
 
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You need some time to forget and enjoy something. Even for a few short hours a week. You’re dealing with horrendous conditions that started with Devin. Collapse for a while.

It’s a good thing you are not a drinker. Everything is worse if one is a drunk.
 
Go ahead and bitch. I've been there and I know how emotionally and physically exhausting it can be.

Go off and cry or scream where you're alone and no one can hear or see you. I'm not a crier normally but it became such a relief valve for me during the time I cared for my hubs.

If someone offers to take you out for lunch or coffee or a walk through the park, take it. That little bit of time removed from everything is also a large help even though it doesn't last nearly long enough.
 
Ronni said:
I’m gonna bitch and whine a bit, so bear with me, please 🙏

I’m exhausted, both physically because I’ve not been sleeping well at all, but even more so emotionally and mentally. I feel such a weight on me as I help Ron navigate his own illness, but also as I support him as he deals with his daughter’s cancer, and to a lesser degree as I help his other daughter, Sheri’s sister Krystal, deal with her own emotions.

Their Mom, Ron’s ex, isn’t the most stable person, and Krystal often turns to me for support with whatever life issues she’s dealing with. And don’t misunderstand, I’m a nurturer, a helper, and I’m always so happy to lend support, and in the moment I’m very focused on being that for loved ones. But when the dust settles, I realized how wrung out I am.

And honestly the dust hasn’t settled much at all, especially with Sheri’s ups and downs, so I don’t feel like I’ve had a moment to just breathe and decompress.

All I can think of is getting away, taking a trip, leaving my phone behind, just escaping for a little while so that I can catch my breath. And the moment things level out, even if it’s just a brief respite, that’s what I’m going to do. Our dear friends who run an Airbnb are ready at a moment’s notice to receive us, cook for us, and fuss over us.

Meanwhile I’m doing my best to find moments here and there. Hanging out with my kids, my daughter and the grands, getting a pedicure (my guilty pleasure in the warmer months) playing with the dogs, are all recharge moments for me so I’m doing those things when I can.

I just…this crap just really sucks, y’know? 😢
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It is totally understandable. Caregivers need care too. Many times it is suggested that a caregiver take a day off to take care of their own mental and physical well being. Is there someone who could sit with Ron for a day while you got away, took a nap, and just spent some time alone decompressing? Just for that day? It sounds like burnout. Sometimes in order to remain strong for your loved one you hafta take a day for you.
 
MarciKS said:
It is totally understandable. Caregivers need care too. Many times it is suggested that a caregiver take a day off to take care of their own mental and physical well being. Is there someone who could sit with Ron for a day while you got away, took a nap, and just spent some time alone decompressing? Just for that day? It sounds like burnout. Sometimes in order to remain strong for your loved one you hafta take a day for you.
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From what Ronni has said, Ron doesn't need a sitter. He's ambulatory and clearly thinking for the most part. It's all of it. Ron, the daughter's cancer that is wearing on her. His stubbornness to do the DD's job when he's suffering the after affects of TX while she's down is adding to the stress.

It's the fear he's pushing so hard when he's so debilitated and that it is going to cause more harm.
 
robin416 said:
From what Ronni has said, Ron doesn't need a sitter. He's ambulatory and clearly thinking for the most part. It's all of it. Ron, the daughter's cancer that is wearing on her. His stubbornness to do the DD's job when he's suffering the after affects of TX while she's down is adding to the stress.

It's the fear he's pushing so hard when he's so debilitated and that it is going to cause more harm.
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I understood that part. Sorry for responding.
 
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