I can't get anything done in the time it used to take me!

WheatenLover

WheatenLover

Senior Member
Location
Georgia
Can this problem be solved?

Yesterday, I spent several hours cooking and cleaning. I looked around and it didn't look like anything had been done - at least not like I'd spent several hours doing it. The plan was to accomplish a whole lot more during that time than I actually did.

I made a huge pot of vegan chili. Then I discovered we were out of beans, so it was really what I call "chili base". My vegan son must have eaten the beans. I turned ground chicken into taco meat, then discovered we didn't have any cheddar cheese. Luckily there were still leftovers from last night. Usually I prepare a lot of food for him to eat for two days, and he eats it all. I basically make up recipes, so this is a compliment!

I did a couple of loads of laundry from start to finish (no leaving the towels unfolded in the basket for another day!).

I made a Walmart order to be delivered today. This took a particularly long time because I have to read labels to make sure certain vegan foods are also gluten-free, look for gluten-free foods that are also vegan but not in that special category (Cheerios), decide whether the (always high) price is worth it, get my son to approve my selections, etc. Plus I hate the way the Walmart grocery section is put together - it doesn't seem very efficient to me. I also took time out for sticker shock.

So, how does aging cause me to not be able to do things as quickly as I used to be able to do?
 

What about a conversation with your son about what is needed to resupply missing staples like the beans he likes. What prevents your son from researching the food he wants to eat.

I really don't like offering what I think might be a problem. But here goes anyway.

By not engaging your son in what he wants to eat & making him part of the process of arranging for it to be bought. IMO enabling him to relay on you is a disservice to both of you.
 
Well, I don't know how old Wheaten's son is, but my vegan son is 54 and I shop and cook (and clean and do laundry) for him, so there! ;)

He works full time, my husband does volunteer work almost full time, and I "keep house" as we used to say. It's my job, it's what I do. Why should they come home and do housework when I've spent all afternoon yacking on the internet?

We've never asked my son for any money for room and board but he insists on helping out, yesterday he set $1100 on the kitchen counter while I wasn't looking.

Back to the subject, yes it takes me longer to do things and I find that irritating, but worst of all to me Is that while I have lots of energy in the morning I'm almost worthless in the afternoon and done just when it's time to fix dinner.

Dinner last night was a big salad, spaghetti in pasta sauce for all three of us, chicken parmesan for hubs and me, vegan meatballs for son. I got so bogged down in the timing for all this -- and I'm particular about hot foods hot and cold foods cold. My brain almost quit on me. I sure wish I could fix dinner at nine A. M.
 
Della,
Your "son" will have to get a quick wife if you should pass away (I hope not soon). My mom taught me my Senior year in high school how to cook, clean, change sheets, wash and iron my close, etc. She always said I want you to marry for love, not to get someone to take care of you...I loved her for that, as did my wife after we got married...

Teach your kids to be self-sufficient as you may not be around long enough to help them. And what if their wife gets ill after you have passed away, what are they to do? Don't love them to death, raise them to be adults!
 
Timewise 60+;
My son knows how to do all those things and makes a great tofu dish on his day off. He lived by himself all through his twenties, shopped, cooked and did his laundry. I'm not going to make him do it now, just on principal when it's perfectly easy for me to do his laundry along with mine, and cook his food along with ours.

I guess I could separate all the chores and when I clean the bathroom only wash my sink and not my husband's and have everyone do their own laundry with three separate uses of electricity and water, and when I go to the store I could walk right past my husband's favorite chips and my son's veggie burgers, and when I vacuum I would only do my one third of each room. But I don't see the point.

When I had Covid for a month and he was home on quarantine, he did all the housework plus cared for me, even getting me pills and tea in the middle of the night.

My son will never be able to marry, but when we're gone I think he will be able to take care of himself and I'm sure he will take good care of my husband and me in our final years.
 
Last edited:
Della said:
Well, I don't know how old Wheaten's son is, but my vegan son is 54 and I shop and cook (and clean and do laundry) for him, so there! ;)

He works full time, my husband does volunteer work almost full time, and I "keep house" as we used to say. It's my job, it's what I do. Why should they come home and do housework when I've spent all afternoon yacking on the internet?

We've never asked my son for any money for room and board but he insists on helping out, yesterday he set $1100 on the kitchen counter while I wasn't looking.

Back to the subject, yes it takes me longer to do things and I find that irritating, but worst of all to me Is that while I have lots of energy in the morning I'm almost worthless in the afternoon and done just when it's time to fix dinner.

Dinner last night was a big salad, spaghetti in pasta sauce for all three of us, chicken parmesan for hubs and me, vegan meatballs for son. I got so bogged down in the timing for all this -- and I'm particular about hot foods hot and cold foods cold. My brain almost quit on me. I sure wish I could fix dinner at nine A. M.
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As to your day, I'm also a morning person. Even when working (to age 70), I felt brain-dead by 2PM. I'd get home at 5 PM, and basically collapse. I don't think your issue is unique. I have only 'getting older' to blame. I have only pets to care for, and I make a fuss over their meals, but they get fed first thing in the morning, as my coffee heats. If I waited, I'd probably forget to feed them. /-;

At some point, we all have to adjust the expectations we have for ourselves.

So, how about crock-pot meals prepped in the AM and ready to serve when your family is home?
 
Yes please. When did it happen that a man runs the sweeper and gets applause and a woman does it and gets shamed?
 
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