I Don't Want Your Stuff

When my mom passed I was given her "good" China. I did not really want it. Not my style and I had no place to keep it. So, I told my brother he could have it. I had other family members have fits because I told my brother to keep it. Took them a long time to move on.
 

My Dad wanted me to take all of his woodworking equipment that he had accumulated in the basement workshop at his retirement highrise. I had to tell him that I had no room for it, the absolute truth. We all accumulate things that we value, for whatever reasons. After I'm gone, I suppose most of my stuff will be shoveled into one of those giant, roll-off dumpsters, and driven to the waste disposal acreage outside of town. No big deal, whatsoever. I have no desire to force my particular tastes on anyone.
 
I've done a reasonably good job of editing the stuff in my life. I've donated quite a bit of it to charity and given much of it to family and friends. That was the easy part because it was MY stuff. But I also have things that were my parents and my brother's (all are deceased) and I've barely made a dent in sorting through any of that. Most of it is stored in bins in the basement which means that I'm not using it nor seeing it but when I have made the time to begin sorting through it, memories flood in and I have to stop. It's silly really because we aren't talking about heirloom pieces that would create a bidding war if they were auctioned. No, these are things most people would walk by if they were on tables to be sold at a garage sale.

So, I have made 3 goals for myself for the next 12 months (not resolutions, I don't make those) and one is to sort through several boxes each month and either offer the items to my family (they won't be interested but I'll make the gesture), donate, sell, recycle or discard the contents. If I stay with this plan, by this time next year I'll have gone through most of the boxes.
 

I sorted this problem...one that plagues so many 'seniors'.
I was sneaky...I made certain that the solicitor who drafted my will ENSURED my siblings and their offspring knew about the ''No family member of any variation, gender,generation or association, is to be offered or allowed to obtain ANY item I own at the point of my demise'' clause.

.....the one certainty that clause ensures, is that the buggers'll be FIGHTING each other to grab odds-n-sods once I peg it. [SNEAKY me...hehehe]
 
Over the past year, I have been editing my belongings, which sounds so much better than decluttering. LOL! I have so much that I don't need, or use anymore. Things I've held onto for God only knows what reason, but probably can be attributed to inertia. Objects at rest.... I have a beautiful breakfront filled with crystal and glassware that I never, ever use. Can't quite bring myself to do anything about it. My daughter doesn't want any of it, and I can't say I blame her. The thing that bugs me? I have many dresser scarves and linens hand embroidered by my grandmother. The work is beautiful. Everything has to be ironed. Nobody wants it. It's totally out of style. What to do? Absolutely no idea.
 
My Dad tried to get me to take his woodworking tools. I had no interest, or room, for them. I'm happy with the two, very small mementos I have, that were his, and two from my Mom. That's it. When I become late, I'm sure most of my stuff will be thrown in a roll-off dumpster. That doesn't concern me in the least bit.
 
I kept many mementos from when my kids were little. Drawings, report cards, their first lunch boxes, favorite books, clothes that had significance (first pair of overalls, shoes etc.) They were kept in my keepsake boxes, the kids all knew about the boxes, and as they got older, they'd bring me stuff to put in their keepsake box. As the kids left home to make lives of their own, I'd give them their keepsake boxes. There were half a dozen or more for each child. I told them flat out that as far as I was concerned, they were theirs to do with as they wished. They could take them straight to a dumpster if that's what they wanted.

Interestingly each of my five kids went through the stuff, laughing at some of the stuff that was important to them when they told me to keep it. They all LOVED that I'd saved their favorite books. The ones who have kids have passed those books on and I get such a kick out of seeing a grandchild read or be read to from one of the books that belonged to their parents when the parents were little.

I also get a HUGE kick out of seeing some of the clothes that my kids wore being worn by their children!!! It's still happening and I LOVE it.

Over time, over the years, I've slowly pared down my own belongings, offering things to the kids, getting rid of what they don't want. I have very little of significance left, and that's just the way I want it. I'll keep the stuff with me till I die, bequeath certain things to certain people in my will, and the rest can be tossed. I've already discussed with my kids who wants what after I'm gone, to keep the bickering to a minimum :D
 


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