I have observed that the wealthy feel sorry for themselves a great deal.

VaughanJB said:
I grew up in a family of want. But perhaps we define "happiness" differently. Sure, having money means you can go abroad, buy cars, and whatever else takes your fancy. This, I consider, is a surface happiness. You can be happy in the moment, and that moment might be a minute, an hour, or a year. However, on reflection of the truth of human existence, none of that matters, imo.

As they say, we come into this world with nothing, and we leave with nothing. Too many things we do for the sake of "happiness" are simply distractions, or momentary pleasures. When I saw this thread, my reaction was one of the ultimate happiness, rather than whether one can afford to feed themselves today, or pay their bills. That, it seems to me, is simply feeding the machine we've created.
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:) I believe happiness begins with fulfillment of our creature needs, as food, shelter, security, love, being loved, ...
 

gruntlabor said:
:) I believe happiness begins with fulfillment of our creature needs, as food, shelter, security, love, being loved, ...
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Indeed. But I didn't take the contrast between wealthy and poor as being one of someone with a mountain of food, against another starving to death. Clearly, we all need a level of income to survive. From where I stand, the pursuit of money for its own sake, is no longer of interest. I don't think it's really what life is about. I certainly don't think more would make me happier within myself.

What is happiness? Honestly, that could be a thread all on its own.
 

C50 said:
I have to disagree. Most of the wealthy and financially well off people I know lead nice lives. They are appreciative of their comforts, and most are generous with their resources and time. I'll add the caveat that I steer away from arrogant a-holes as a rule(rich or poor)so may be a bit biased in my social pool.

The group I hear expressing the most self pity are those who have failed to achieve. They didn't save for retirement, they didn't work hard, they lived beyond their means, never had a plan, never sacrificed to achieve a goal. They fail to recognize or admit how mistakes have cost them a comfortable life, so seek pity and ways to blame the world for their underachievments.
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That has been my experience, as well.
seadoug said:
Most people who came from wealth don't feel the need to flaunt it. It is not in vogue anymore.
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A friend of 40 years standing came from great wealth - oil money. When I saw a childhood photo of her in front of the home she grew up in, I though it was a hotel the family was staying in on vacation. And a BIG hotel, at that.

She's never flaunted it and has always been generous but appropriate with friends, relatives and charities.

From what I've seen in the news, flaunting wealth, especially sudden wealth, is a quick road to ending up broke. Poor decisions, legions of hangers-on, and a lack of discipline are the culprits. Professional athletes, entertainers, lottery winners and beneficiaries of large lawsuit payoffs come to mind.

But do I find wealthy people feel sorry for themselves? No. Certainly not more than most others.
 
StarSong said:
That has been my experience, as well.

A friend of 40 years standing came from great wealth - oil money. When I saw a childhood photo of her in front of the home she grew up in, I though it was a hotel the family was staying in on vacation. And a BIG hotel, at that.

She's never flaunted it and has always been generous but appropriate with friends, relatives and charities.

From what I've seen in the news, flaunting wealth, especially sudden wealth, is a quick road to ending up broke. Poor decisions, legions of hangers-on, and a lack of discipline are the culprits. Professional athletes, entertainers, lottery winners and beneficiaries of large lawsuit payoffs come to mind.

But do I find wealthy people feel sorry for themselves? No. Certainly not more than most others.
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Lottery winners. Oh my.

Jack Whittager, the largest single person lottery winner ever (319 million) lived in my parents little town of Hurricane West Virginia. When he won he was a respected business owner and regular church goer, happily married and devoted to his grand daughter Brandi.

Within just a few years his life was ruined. His granddaughter had been killed by her new found "friends," his daughter had died under mysterious conditions, his wife had left him, his house had burned down and his morals were so messed up he was paying waitresses in family restaurants to strip for him. Everyone hated and feared him and he said the money had cursed him.

Jack Whittaker (lottery winner) - Wikipedia
 
Lots of it may come down to tax right offs. Stuff set up to benefit directly proportional to profits.
2022 and the Carnegie fund Started 100 years ago was still going strong.
Promoting education and Democratic process / freedoms. (y)
 
Mobilman44 said:
Yet, many of the folks in the less expensive vehicles donated
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I don’t know the American taxation system, but I hear the same type of comments in Canada. Just because someone doesn’t throw money into an unregistered bin for a charity doesn’t mean they aren’t giving. A money cautious donor will get tax credits. They can donate more and save themselves by paying a bit less on taxes. It’s a win-win for them and the charity.
 
yes they seem to suffer from anxiety and boredom a lot and damage of the bodily organs from mysterious intakes of food and fluids - and losing monies - why ? and not having real friends why? etc etc etc - this general makes for unhappiness?
 
VaughanJB said:
I have seen a lot of drug abuse in the City of London. It wasn't uncommon for Cocaine to be part of the after work socializing. If you include alcohol as a drug, then the number of people working drunk - however mildly - is off the charts.
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I would not have believed this if I had not had the misfortune of spending a Friday evening through to Monday morning in the A&E department of a big London hospital. After the pubs and, a bit later, after the clubs closed, there was a steady stream of well-dressed, (mainly guys) walking in complaining of headaches and not feeling well. When asked what they had taken that night, the answer was invariably a list of alcohol and (mainly) cocaine and, most of them, would shrug and start their sentence with "Oh, only some cocaine and .....".

What surprised me so much was how respectable and prosperous these people appeared and, I would guess, most of them seemed well into their 30's and beyond.

VaughanJB said:
I grew up in a family of want. But perhaps we define "happiness" differently. Sure, having money means you can go abroad, buy cars, and whatever else takes your fancy. This, I consider, is a surface happiness. You can be happy in the moment, and that moment might be a minute, an hour, or a year. However, on reflection of the truth of human existence, none of that matters, imo.

As they say, we come into this world with nothing, and we leave with nothing. Too many things we do for the sake of "happiness" are simply distractions, or momentary pleasures. When I saw this thread, my reaction was one of the ultimate happiness, rather than whether one can afford to feed themselves today, or pay their bills. That, it seems to me, is simply feeding the machine we've created.
Click to expand...

Do you think happiness is found somewhere in the middle? well-off enough to pay the bills and to live a relatively comfortable lifestyle but, not so rich that you end up spending your life trying to get more in order to pay for, not only the lifestyle you have but, also the one you aspire to? If so, I think that is a very good point.
 
Trish said:
Do you think happiness is found somewhere in the middle? well-off enough to pay the bills and to live a relatively comfortable lifestyle but, not so rich that you end up spending your life trying to get more in order to pay for, not only the lifestyle you have but, also the one you aspire to? If so, I think that is a very good point.
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I agree. Another thing the very rich seem to do is worry incessantly about their money. That's why the top tier seems to vote according to who they think will protect them form having to pay taxes. Most of them don't pay income tax at all because they don't have any regular income.
 
hollydolly said:
I have been there... no money except enough to buy baby food....really struggling, living solely on potatoes and eggs because that was all I could afford for me..while my then husband was in the Navy away at sea..earning a pittance, which is how the UK reward their fighting forces...

he didn't starve, he ate well on board ship for months away at sea.. .. my baby didn't starve.. but I was so underweight they wouldn't allow me to donate blood..

I had no idea for the first 3 years of our marriage where a clothes shop or a shoe shop was anywhere near where we lived , because I never had enough money to buy shoes or clothes.. or in fact enough money to even get a bus to the shops...

I couldn't get a job because there was no-one who could look after my child.. I couldn't afford any babysitting service.. .. we lived alone, far from my family. My husband was at sea up to 7 months of the year, if it wasn't for the fact that I lived on a Naval Base..in MQ's.. and my neighbours were all in the same boat, (unintentional pun) and we looked out for each other and would meet in each others homes every day with our children, .. I would have gone stark raving mad with hunger and loneliness
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I'm so sorry. That was a really hard time.

There have been studies recently in the U.S. that says long-term poverty has a long-term detrimental affect on the health of the poor. When I first heard one of those studies quoted for an article and said, "YEAH, DUH!" Big duh. So glad researchers are studying what poor people have known for centuries. :rolleyes:

The poorest I've ever been is when I had to go to the food banks once a week. I had to. The thing that is so debilitating about it is that it drags on and on and on for years. Yes, I applied for new and better jobs. So what? No one wanted me at my age. So, you learn how to live poor.
 
Della said:
I agree. Another thing the very rich seem to do is worry incessantly about their money. That's why the top tier seems to vote according to who they think will protect them form having to pay taxes. Most of them don't pay income tax at all because they don't have any regular income.
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The rich are the ones watching CNBC constantly and subscribe to the Wall Street Journal ($363.00 a year). They don't care about the weather, they don't care about the regular news unless it affects the markets. They are on a constant diet of market news, IMO.
 
VintageBetter said:
I'm so sorry. That was a really hard time.

There have been studies recently in the U.S. that says long-term poverty has a long-term detrimental affect on the health of the poor. When I first heard one of those studies quoted for an article and said, "YEAH, DUH!" Big duh. So glad researchers are studying what poor people have known for centuries. :rolleyes:

The poorest I've ever been is when I had to go to the food banks once a week. I had to. The thing that is so debilitating about it is that it drags on and on and on for years. Yes, I applied for new and better jobs. So what? No one wanted me at my age. So, you learn how to live poor.
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Unfortunately when I was desperate, there was no such thing as food banks.... but you're so right you do learn to live poor, and eventually it's a way of life that you just accept and live the best you can with.

Today there's very few people who will live as poor as I did, because there are so many benefits ( and food banks) available to them...there was nothing like that when I was in that situation
 
Trish said:
Do you think happiness is found somewhere in the middle? well-off enough to pay the bills and to live a relatively comfortable lifestyle but, not so rich that you end up spending your life trying to get more in order to pay for, not only the lifestyle you have but, also the one you aspire to? If so, I think that is a very good point.
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I think I've approached this question differently than most here. I believe happiness is an innate feeling of serenity and freedom. It's both casual - in the day to day - and spiritually fulfilling. It's an ease with self.

As the saying goes, when you want nothing, you have everything.

But yes, we need a roof over our heads. We need food. We need to pay bills. But for me that's just life happening. I also have a stereo system that isn't top of the line, but cost several thousand to buy. This brings me a lot of pleasure, but I've never forgotten how I first fell in love with music. It was on a mono record player with a speaker built into the lid. Audiophile it was not, but the music still spoke to me. So in this case, I wouldn't claim my more expensive system brings me happiness, as such, the happiness of listening to music and appreciating it is where the true happiness lies.

If you reduce happiness to simple monetary terms, then I think you smear what true happiness is. You're mixing it with everything that comes from working with the mechanics of our society.
 
Trish said:
I would not have believed this if I had not had the misfortune of spending a Friday evening through to Monday morning in the A&E department of a big London hospital. After the pubs and, a bit later, after the clubs closed, there was a steady stream of well-dressed, (mainly guys) walking in complaining of headaches and not feeling well. When asked what they had taken that night, the answer was invariably a list of alcohol and (mainly) cocaine and, most of them, would shrug and start their sentence with "Oh, only some cocaine and .....".
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I was at an evenings run in a pub with three other guys - all middle management at major high street banks. The topic of conversation was "who has the worst case of gout?" Seriously.

I've never done the drugs, but I can't claim to not have abused alcohol at some of these events. I'm no saint. But the level of this issue is truly under-appreciated.
 
I have observed that unhappy people, out of envy and jealousy, do whatever they can to minimize/diminish/understate the happiness of others.

Misery loves company - Anon

Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be. - Abraham Lincoln
 
VaughanJB said:
... happiness is an innate feeling of serenity and freedom. It's both casual - in the day to day - and spiritually fulfilling. It's an ease with self.

... when you want nothing, you have everything.
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:) That is so beautifully said, VaughanJB! Let us want as little as possible then. Let it be so.
" Life is pain,
the cause of the pain is want,
the end of pain comes with the end of want,
the end of want is by the Eight-Fold Path." --The Four Noble Truths
 
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Buckeye said:
Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be. - Abraham Lincoln
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I've quoted that many times.
What I've found - in real life as well as on social media:

People who relish feeling miserable or victimized find ways to accommodate that spin. (A beautiful day is ruined by the excessive noise of neighborhood children shouting in a pool.)

People who decide to be happy focus on the positives and don't give enduring weight to the negatives. (A beautiful day is enhanced by the sounds of youngsters having fun in a pool.)
 
In my twenties, I was friends with a member of the Delacorte family. She was a lovely, unspoiled girl. Her family were nice & fun to be with. Never saw her or any of them be snobby. My friend rode a bike for transportation when no one else did. My friend was a hard worker and had a job that was in service for others. A regular job! Didn't pay much but she didn't need it. Old money. Did a lot of important work in Central Park, i.e. Delacorte Theater.
 
Having grown up a Midwest farm kid ya learn to do stuff out of doors a lot and read much at night. Older and ya work all the time.
Didn't have time to feel much. The big trip a week was the town Library for more stuff to read. Parents listened to the big radio and
Later the TV 2 stations that had test patterns on them a lot. That life would be mass suicides today.
 

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