I like one liners.

Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.

My wife likes it when I blow air on her when she's hot, but honestly... I'm not a fan.

Grandma's been staring through the window ever since it started to snow. If it gets any worse I'll have to let her back in.

I can totally keep secrets. It's the people I tell them to that can't.

You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there's no real difference between me and George Clooney.

Once my wife found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline, she hit the roof.
 
We can't all be heros because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
Will Rogers

If you want a friend in Washington D C, get a dog.
Harry S. Truman

I have not failed, I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
Thomas Edison

You can observe a lot just by watching. Yogi Berra
 
horseless carriage said:
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.
Click to expand...
Skydiving is different from Parachuting. In the military, when parachuting, all one needs to do is jump and enjoy the ride to earth. The main canopy is deployed automatically by a static line. Of course, if the reserve chute is needed, it’s best to keep a hand on the rip cord. I believe skydiving uses a different method to deploy the chute or main canopy. (Not certain.)
 
“Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder.”
“Freedom is never Free.”
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to face it.”
“Leade me, Follow me, or Get the Hell out of the way.” George Patton
“War is Hell.”
 
" You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there." George Burns
 

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