I,m beginning to have serious thoughts of assisted living

A place that always looked small and cozy from driving by, near here but away from town:

##### is an assisted living facility in #####, Michigan. This community does not offer a level of care outside of assisted living. This facility may offer respite or short-term stays. If this is something you need, you will need to find out if there are any additional restrictions on this option. ##### offers physical therapy services to its residents.​
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Costs at this community start at $2,100 and range up to $5,672. The average price in the community is $5,672, which is higher than the average cost of assisted living in the area of $3,886. The cost of assisted living in this area is less than the state average. Depending on the services the resident needs, additional services may increase the cost of care.​
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Residents need to have a scheduled, structured activity every day. See our amenity list for more information.​

However it has some terrible online reviews and Google Maps shows the place as "permanently closed" even though the web site is still covering it.

Those monthly rates sure look steep to me. The rooms sound tiny and the published "key amenities" list is very short. My guess is that the low-ball $2,100 starting price is more comparable to the $3,886 starting price elsewhere. Maybe the cheap rooms have space for a twin bed and a dresser with a closet and just enough room left over to make the bed but not even a desk and chair in a corner. So much of the day you'll be doddering around outdoors or sitting in a group stuck watching CNN. Imagine deep snow when you can't go out at all?


If you are even thinking about this you'd better start your research. They probably have waiting lists as well.

Even though there are a lot more old folks including more older folks today it doesn't seem like facilities have been built out enough to accommodate the population size.
 
dilettante said:
A place that always looked small and cozy from driving by, near here but away from town:

##### is an assisted living facility in #####, Michigan. This community does not offer a level of care outside of assisted living. This facility may offer respite or short-term stays. If this is something you need, you will need to find out if there are any additional restrictions on this option. ##### offers physical therapy services to its residents.​
​
Costs at this community start at $2,100 and range up to $5,672. The average price in the community is $5,672, which is higher than the average cost of assisted living in the area of $3,886. The cost of assisted living in this area is less than the state average. Depending on the services the resident needs, additional services may increase the cost of care.​
​
Residents need to have a scheduled, structured activity every day. See our amenity list for more information.​

However it has some terrible online reviews and Google Maps shows the place as "permanently closed" even though the web site is still covering it.

Those monthly rates sure look steep to me. The rooms sound tiny and the published "key amenities" list is very short. My guess is that the low-ball $2,100 starting price is more comparable to the $3,886 starting price elsewhere. Maybe the cheap rooms have space for a twin bed and a dresser with a closet and just enough room left over to make the bed but not even a desk and chair in a corner. So much of the day you'll be doddering around outdoors or sitting in a group stuck watching CNN. Imagine deep snow when you can't go out at all?


If you are even thinking about this you'd better start your research. They probably have waiting lists as well.

Even though there are a lot more old folks including more older folks today it doesn't seem like facilities have been built out enough to accommodate the population size.
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In this area, you are often times competing with the New York State Medicaid reimbursement rate when it comes to price.

Currently that rate for assisted living/rehabilitation is around $7,250.00/month.

Once the individuals assets are depleted the cost is limited to their monthly income minus a very small monthly allowance. The Stateā€™s Medicaid program pays the rest up to their cap/reimbursement rate.

The cost of private pay cruise ship style independent living and assisted living usually go up from there.

There are many good facilities in this area that accept Medicaid but it helps a great deal if you have a Social Worker to cut through the red tape and help to literally get your foot in the door.

It is what it is and we need to work with whatā€™s available while others work to improve the system.
 

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hawkdon said:
Yeah I've looked into this a bit prior to today, and could not
afford anything I saw, just wishing I guess....I'll talk to the
social worker I have and see if she has better info...am sorry
\for another whine, but this today has me very concerned....
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Where I am, there is one very large affordable housing apartment for seniors that has a dining room, trips, and activities. The problem is the apartments are so small I would have to downsize even more than I did in the last move. I keep telling myself it is a spiritual advancement to let go of all this material stuff and live simply, so others can simply live. I am just not ready to let go of my clutter that I really hate and do what I think is best. šŸ„“

To my horror, I am buying more and more books. I thought I broke this addiction after getting rid of 2/3 of my library so I could move into a smaller apartment.
 
hollydolly said:
hawkie I think you need to get into an assisted living place, because you're clearly not well enough to be alone.

Hopefully your social worker will have some ideas. In the meantime.. try looking sideways onto a mirror...with the bad ear, and then taking a photo of the mirror, and then enlarging the photo...on your phone or computer
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How about in-home care? Our Senior and Disabilities office will send someone to our homes if we qualify. To qualify we need to think of our worst day and answer every question based on our worst day. I was told to get in-home service you must qualify for a nursing home, as long as you can bath without help and do your dishes once a month you don't qualify. Seriously, if asking for in-home care we should say we are afraid to bathe or shower when we are alone.

How much in-home care help we get varies a lot! It can be a couple of hours once a week or a few hours every day, or even all day every day. It is less expensive to keep people at home.
 
We found a small 50 resident home within a mile of our house. Everything from weekly menue, room service, beautician, physician, RN on site 24/7, transportation, ... .
Monthly charges are based on need of assistance. A studio with completely remodelled kitchenette, huge bath, window to a garden and right next to the safe room started at 4,200/month. Mumsy got a two months no rent deal. Well, she signed the contract and backed out a day later.
 
Twostep said:
We found a small 50 resident home within a mile of our house. Everything from weekly menue, room service, beautician, physician, RN on site 24/7, transportation, ... .
Monthly charges are based on need of assistance. A studio with completely remodelled kitchenette, huge bath, window to a garden and right next to the safe room started at 4,200/month. Mumsy got a two months no rent deal. Well, she signed the contract and backed out a day later.
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If you don't mind my asking, did she feel pressured when she was sitting there in the office and then felt safe enough to back out the next day when away from that setting or did she rethink the cost (cause $4200 a month, wow!)? I could see myself A. feeling pressured and B. feeling a little squeamish about the price (because I'm a cheapskate at heartšŸ™‚).

My aunt is in a place like that and she's quite happy living there. I think for her, the big draw was never having to cook again. And she gets to fill her time with helping in the garden, puzzles with the other folks, chatting, etc. But you have to be ready for it I guess. Maybe it's just not the right time for you mum yet.
 
officerripley said:
So true and why it's so weird to me that you keep hearing over and over again (both here on SF and other places), "When the day comes that I need it." Or even worse, "IF that day comes that I need it." (Talk about wishful thinking.)
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Iā€™m not sure if you have the same thing in the US but here in Canada you can get licensed nurses to help you and the government pays for it all. Itā€™s called VON. They help make sure you take your medication, help with light cooking, light housekeeping along with bathing etc. They even help the elderly get into assisted living.
 
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PeppermintPatty said:
Iā€™m not sure if you have the same thing in the US but here in Canada you can get licensed nurses to help you and the government pays for it all. Itā€™s called VON. They help make sure you take your medication, help with light cooking, light housekeeping along with bathing etc.
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I think here in the U.S, only private insurance (which is horribly expensive) will pay for that for any length of time. If you own nothing, the MedicAid program will pay for you to be in skilled nursing; I don't think they pay for in-home health care at all (or only very rarely). The philosophy here in the good ol' United States of Avarice seems to be: "Oh, you want to be taken care of in your old age? Then either have enough daughters or daughters-in-law that'll do it or make a lot of money."
 
hollydolly said:
I was only kidding... but yes I often think how much younger I seem to be compare to my peers... so I hope you're right, and thank you...:love:
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I've read a few times, how important play is for our children. Helps them learn and grow....so why wouldn't it be important for us? And in order to play, it seems to require a certain immaturity and openness to new ideas and experiences. So play on Hollydolly!
 
I looked into "independent living" for my lovely SO and myself, since I can mostly take care of both of us, at least for now. Cheapest place I found was about $4700 a month. That was in a facility in Central Florida that did not require an up front "endowment". They did not offer "assisted living" to compare prices. My folks, back in 2013, were in their early 90s and went into an assisted living facility in Ohio. $250,000 endowment plus a significant monthly fee. They were treated well, and could afford it, but many of us can't.
 
Debrah N. said:
If you don't mind my asking, did she feel pressured when she was sitting there in the office and then felt safe enough to back out the next day when away from that setting or did she rethink the cost (cause $4200 a month, wow!)? I could see myself A. feeling pressured and B. feeling a little squeamish about the price (because I'm a cheapskate at heartšŸ™‚).

My aunt is in a place like that and she's quite happy living there. I think for her, the big draw was never having to cook again. And she gets to fill her time with helping in the garden, puzzles with the other folks, chatting, etc. But you have to be ready for it I guess. Maybe it's just not the right time for you mum yet.
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Not to go to deep into things - she basically did not talk to me for 12+ years and has been playing both sides of the set - me and my sister. Everything was set for hip replacement, legal documents, physical therapy pre open training, realtor to find a bigger house. She flew back to Georgia and we were there the next evening to check on her. Bank, moving van, hotel to not have a 13 hour drive. She had to discuss things with her daughter. SO was four months
out of major spinal surgery. I call her situation elder abuse by my sister and her husband is counting on his money. A day later everything it was 'I am ready'. Some evenings she is nice when I call. Some evenings she is whiny. Some evenings she is plain ugly.
Yes, life in our house is quiet, nothing is missing, not a thing she has to do including cleaning up behind herself. A lot of demands. First expressed like wishes, then orders. All that could be managed but she has something negative and snarky to say about everyone and everything. Just as an example - A gentleman in our circle has just about every physical therapy certification there js. He spent an hour with her and created a complete pre op plan for her hip replacement based on our relationship. "Your little Indian can come to the house."
 
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PeppermintPatty said:
I think looking into assisted living is a good idea. Youā€™ve been roughing it for a while now. Donā€™t forget thereā€™s waiting time. I hope you find a place you like and get the help you need Don. Thinking and praying for
PeppermintPatty said:
Iā€™m not sure if you have the same thing in the US but here in Canada you can get licensed nurses to help you and the government pays for it all. Itā€™s called VON. They help make sure you take your medication, help with light cooking, light housekeeping along with bathing etc. They even help the elderly get into assisted living.
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There is something similar. It is basically based on assets and income. Some states allow funds for family member caretakers.
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@Twostep - for some reason I couldnā€™t copy paste your info.

This was based on income also but my parents made a healthy income so Iā€™m not quite sure how it works. I know that you could get accepted for assisted living if you have no income. It seems to work well for all income levels.
 
MIL is in a
PeppermintPatty said:
@Twostep - for some reason I couldnā€™t copy paste your info.

This was based on income also but my parents made a healthy income so Iā€™m not quite sure how it works. I know that you could get accepted for assisted living if you have no income. It seems to work well for all income levels.
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MIL moved out of a nice assisted living facility to a room mate arrangement. This was a disaster! She moved in with her daughter in New Jersey. Her eating/drinking habits caused a string of emergency room visits and hospital stays. Using agency staff for 24/7 home care failed in part due to her. She is now in a good facility with a low staff/resident ratio, pleasant surroundings, bed bound and not a five minute walk for her daughter's daily visits. She had to show funds for two years of self pay.
She has discovered Alexa! The capacity for even a brief conversation is not there but she keeps calling every number!
 
Twostep said:
MIL is in a

MIL moved out of a nice assisted living facility to a room mate arrangement. This was a disaster! She moved in with her daughter in New Jersey. Her eating/drinking habits caused a string of emergency room visits and hospital stays. Using agency staff for 24/7 home care failed in part due to her. She is now in a good facility with a low staff/resident ratio, pleasant surroundings, bed bound and not a five minute walk for her daughter's daily visits. She had to show funds for two years of self pay.
She has discovered Alexa! The capacity for even a brief conversation is not there but she keeps calling every number!
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Itā€™s good that heaving in a safe place now.
Quite often a stroke is what changes the dynamics of the amount of care needed. My mom had a stroke which changed everything.
Sheā€™s now in a room on her own.
 
Twostep said:
Not to go to deep into things - she basically did not talk to me for 12+ years and has been playing both sides of the set - me and my sister. Everything was set for hip replacement, legal documents, physical therapy pre open training, realtor to find a bigger house. She flew back to Georgia and we were there the next evening to check on her. Bank, moving van, hotel to not have a 13 hour drive. She had to discuss things with her daughter. SO was four months
out of major spinal surgery. I call her situation elder abuse by my sister and her husband is counting on his money. A day later everything it was 'I am ready'. Some evenings she is nice when I call. Some evenings she is whiny. Some evenings she is plain ugly.
Yes, life in our house is quiet, nothing is missing, not a thing she has to do including cleaning up behind herself. A lot of demands. First expressed like wishes, then orders. All that could be managed but she has something negative and snarky to say about everyone and everything. Just as an example - A gentleman in our circle has just about every physical therapy certification there js. He spent an hour with her and created a complete pre op plan for her hip replacement based on our relationship. "Your little Indian can come to the house."
Click to expand...
I'm sorry for you that you have such a volatile family member. It must make it very hard to maintain some kind of relationship. My mother in law was like that with her oldest son who lived nearby but to us, on the other side of the country, she was always sweet. But I often think if we'd been nearby, she would have given us the same treatment. Sometimes being close brings out the worst wouldn't you say?
 
Twostep said:
MIL is in a

MIL moved out of a nice assisted living facility to a room mate arrangement. This was a disaster! She moved in with her daughter in New Jersey. Her eating/drinking habits caused a string of emergency room visits and hospital stays. Using agency staff for 24/7 home care failed in part due to her. She is now in a good facility with a low staff/resident ratio, pleasant surroundings, bed bound and not a five minute walk for her daughter's daily visits. She had to show funds for two years of self pay.
She has discovered Alexa! The capacity for even a brief conversation is not there but she keeps calling every number!
Click to expand...
Maybe push Alexa off the table when she isn't looking? Then tell her it's impossible to repair 'her'? Just a thought.
 

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