I Sure Miss Her

L

Lon

Well-known Member
Location
Central California
We were married for 33 years and she died in 1989. Despite the fact that I remarried three years later and was amically divorced last year, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her. Our only child (daughter) shared with me last night that she thinks about her mother all the time as well.
 

I can only begin to imagine. I've been married to my wife for nearly 39 years. Cannot fathom what it would be like to be without her, even though she says I don't need her. How wrong she is.
 

I'm so sorry Lon. I guess we have to take comfort that they're always in our hearts...which doesn't help when we want them in the room with us. My Mom passed in 1989 too and never a day goes by that something will remind me of her. My Dad found a new partner eventually but we still share stories some nights.
 
My sympathy Lon....hugs. Like Bob, I've been married almost forty years, and can't imagine living without my husband. It's nice that you have a daughter who shares the same feelings. :rose:
 
Lon, my heart goes out to you. You obviously had the real thing. There is no replacing that. All you can do is be thankful for having found what many never do and keep polishing those memories. The price for doing that is often tears, but the memories are worth the price. I feel your pain. Lost her in March. 58 years. Never apart.
 
Lon said:
We were married for 33 years and she died in 1989. Despite the fact that I remarried three years later and was amically divorced last year, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her. Our only child (daughter) shared with me last night that she thinks about her mother all the time as well.
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Lon, FWIW, my experience is nearly similar, except divorce from my first wife was the painful thing. Re-married 3 years after the divorce helped ease the pain, some. We have been together now 36 years. imp
 
I'm sorry Lon. It's really hard when you miss someone so bad and can't do a darn thing about it. No matter how many years we have it never seems like enough. Our 52nd is coming up soon and it's still not enough years together.
 
"but it will never be the same."

Ahhhh..... how absolutely right you are. Some pain seems to last forever, as well as the wonderment from back then. imp
 
You know I divorced hubby. Then at one of the custody hearings we went outside all alone. The kids were watching and thought we would implode right then and there. But we hugged for real. No matter what happens there is someone in your life...that knows you more than you will know yourself. I married him again and even death won't part this thing...my love forever...well next to this goofy dog.
 
Laurie, maybe the edge will come off your pain but you'll never forget her. I am not a widow so I can't really speak from personal experience on losing a mate. I have known a few couple's who remarried in their golden years and both still talked openly and freely about the loved one who had passed. At the time I was younger and thought that was weird but now I don't. If something happened to my husband and I remarried (and I probably would) I would never ever shut the door on my memories and I would speak of him, keep all his photos and letters etc.
 
Oh Laurie....it's such early days for you dear man. only months.......and soooo raw still, and yes the pain will ease, but 55 years is an entire lifetime to share with someone, it becomes more like one person than 2....so just embrace the memories because you know pain will always remain if you can't put a bandage on it and you need an emotional bandage, for that you need emotional support...I really hope you can get that laurie, and I'm sure you will..((hugs)))
 
Lon said:
We were married for 33 years and she died in 1989. Despite the fact that I remarried three years later and was amically divorced last year, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her. Our only child (daughter) shared with me last night that she thinks about her mother all the time as well.
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Lon...bless you....1989 was a long time ago....and you've lived a very full life since, and I wonder...( I say this in the nicest possible way)...if you're still mourning your first wife because you're on your own now after your recent divorce. None of my business of course if you choose not to answer, but just a question given that you've brought your sorrow to the table.

May I ask...while you were courting, then married to your second wife, did you think of your first wife every day then?

Of course your children will feel the pain every single day on some level as we all do when we lose a parent particularly those of us who lost them when we were younger...because we never have a replacement...but unless you had an unhappy second marriage may I respectfully suggest that there must have been days where your first wife, may not have been in your mind while your second relationship was going well ..or am I way off bat?
 
hollydolly said:
Lon...bless you....1989 was a long time ago....and you've lived a very full life since, and I wonder...( I say this in the nicest possible way)...if you're still mourning your first wife because you're on your own now after your recent divorce. None of my business of course if you choose not to answer, but just a question given that you've brought your sorrow to the table.

May I ask...while you were courting, then married to your second wife, did you think of your first wife every day then?

Of course your children will feel the pain every single day on some level as we all do when we lose a parent particularly those of us who lost them when we were younger...because we never have a replacement...but unless you had an unhappy second marriage may I respectfully suggest that there must have been days where your first wife, may not have been in your mind while your second relationship was going well ..or am I way off bat?
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No ---You are Spot On---I had a good second marriage and didn't think about my first wife on a regular basis. Oddly, I think about my second wife as well, just differently.
 
IMO people aren't interchangeable like lego blocks... I can say I often think of my first two husbands... and I am completely happily married to my third. I think about the first two because they were a huge part of my life. I have two children with the first.. and I was married to the second for 21 years... how could I erase either? Like all things.. some memories are wonderful...and pleasant .. and some not so much. Such is life.
 
Lon said:
No ---You are Spot On---I had a good second marriage and didn't think about my first wife on a regular basis. Oddly, I think about my second wife as well, just differently.
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Thanks for replying to that Lon...I was hoping you wouldn't find it too offensive or intrusive, and yes I can totally understand !!
 
I think about first hubby. Found a long lost picture recently. Feel guilty the way I treated him. But I had a dream one night and maybe made peace with him. Dream my Mom too sometimes, such a nice visit I don't want to wake up.
 

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