I wish to know Jesus but I don’t understand, even though I thought I did.

Mr. Ed

Mr. Ed

Be what you is not what you what you ain’t
Location
Central NY
The most elusive paradox in my life has always been Jesus. I have surrendered and yet remained the same. I thought surely to notice a change if not happiness a sense of contentment would suffice.

I have no qualm against Jesus except that either I am unworthy to be chosen as other people seem to be. Why am I not like other people who find peace through faith in Jesus? Faith must be the answer so by the same token my lack of faith or gullibility saves me from spiritual fraud.

I consider myself to be open, but please if you are not as you say you are I pray that you end your charade and leave me alone. On the other hand if you are real, then make yourself available to me. I have waited so long…
 

Mr. Ed said:
The most elusive paradox in my life has always been Jesus. I have surrendered and yet remained the same. I thought surely to notice a change if not happiness a sense of contentment would suffice.

I have no qualm against Jesus except that either I am unworthy to be chosen as other people seem to be. Why am I not like other people who find peace through faith in Jesus? Faith must be the answer so by the same token my lack of faith or gullibility saves me from spiritual fraud.

I consider myself to be open, but please if you are not as you say you are I pray that you end your charade and leave me alone. On the other hand if you are real, then make yourself available to me. I have waited so long…
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((((Ed))))) I live in this culture too and once struggled with that. I came to peace years ago by understanding that the message of Jesus (and his Jewish faith) is at core redemption ....you don't have to work so hard when you realize that.
 
Jesus was a man, not too different from any of us. But he did an incredibly brave and bold thing, he gave his life(in a most agonizing way) in order that those who believe in him could gain eternal life. For that, Jesus is easy to love, following His teachings is pretty simple, but there are challenges in life that sometimes makes that difficult. Hang in there, God is all about forgiveness and mercy.
 
Mr. Ed said:
... please if you are not as you say you are I pray that you end your charade and leave me alone. On the other hand if you are real, then make yourself available to me. I have waited so long…
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As a young person I said the same thing, and my prayer was answered. I was deliriously happy. Later, I decided that it was all in my mind. I have never recovered that feeling of bliss.
We can't control our faith, or lack of it. We can only encourage it
 
Mr. Ed said:
The most elusive paradox in my life has always been Jesus. I have surrendered and yet remained the same. I thought surely to notice a change if not happiness a sense of contentment would suffice.

I have no qualm against Jesus except that either I am unworthy to be chosen as other people seem to be. Why am I not like other people who find peace through faith in Jesus? Faith must be the answer so by the same token my lack of faith or gullibility saves me from spiritual fraud.

I consider myself to be open, but please if you are not as you say you are I pray that you end your charade and leave me alone. On the other hand if you are real, then make yourself available to me. I have waited so long…
Click to expand...
Think of Jesus in a context that touches your heart. Mine is a statue of Jesus reaching down to feed a lamb. And the lamb is reaching up to to take the food from Jesus. That's how I view Jesus, a loving man/spirit that loves all created creatures on the planet. Open your hands and He will fill them with everything you want and need. Ask. Open your heart to let Him in. He won't just break down your door.
 
I believe you are on the right track. We are called to believe in John 3:16, but the word "believe" translates as a childlike faith. If a parent holds a small child high in the air, the child has no fear of being dropped. They have a faith in their parent, a complete trust. It is that type of trust and faith for forgiveness through Jesus that leads to a being a New Creation, that is Born Again.
 
I think that Nathan started off correctly when he wrote 'Jesus was a man, not too different from any of us'. Jesus seems to be an itinerant preacher who spoke a lot of good sense and gained huge popularity - so much so that he threatened the 'status quo' and paid the ultimate price.
I'm content to leave it there. It's history and today it's up to humanity to sort out it's problems - not that they're doing a very good job of it.
 
You'll never have peace, I don't think, Mr. Ed. You set up too many obstacles. You can change though, and have peace. You won't allow that. You won't allow for change in your thinking.
 
Praying for you Ed, to find your way. I didn't understand either for a long time though I tried. I went to every church I could but felt I was missing something. Someone told me to start by reading the New Testament. I have read it many times since then. I devoured Billy Graham's books and some others but mainly his. Now constant praying through out my day. Seeing answers to my prayers has helped but so has having faith and feeling love for others.
 
Mr. Ed said:
The most elusive paradox in my life has always been Jesus. I have surrendered and yet remained the same. I thought surely to notice a change if not happiness a sense of contentment would suffice.

I have no qualm against Jesus except that either I am unworthy to be chosen as other people seem to be. Why am I not like other people who find peace through faith in Jesus? Faith must be the answer so by the same token my lack of faith or gullibility saves me from spiritual fraud.

I consider myself to be open, but please if you are not as you say you are I pray that you end your charade and leave me alone. On the other hand if you are real, then make yourself available to me. I have waited so long…
Click to expand...
Many wait for the Red Sea to part when focusing on the miracle of the caterpillar may be all you really need.

Raise some caterpillars to butterflies. The kits cost about $16 to $30. https://shorturl.at/HzkF6

Want or need to “experience” God/Jesus in a visual way? Behold the simple caterpillar.

Pastors, oh many pastors are always looking for the Big Experiences, bigger the better, they think. Like big donors, they lust after them.

“Surrender” sounds like you are losing something. What are you “losing” and why? WHO said you had to do that? Some human person who claims they know more about God than you do? Did you ask him/her to PROVE THAT? Going to Bible College doesn’t count - almost any fool can go to Bible College.

Seriously. Raise some butterflies.
 
VintageBetter said:
Many wait for the Red Sea to part when focusing on the miracle of the caterpillar may be all you really need.

Raise some caterpillars to butterflies. The kits cost about $16 to $30. https://shorturl.at/HzkF6

Want or need to “experience” God/Jesus in a visual way? Behold the simple caterpillar.

Pastors, oh many pastors are always looking for the Big Experiences, bigger the better, they think. Like big donors, they lust after them.

“Surrender” sounds like you are losing something. What are you “losing” and why? WHO said you had to do that? Some human person who claims they know more about God than you do? Did you ask him/her to PROVE THAT? Going to Bible College doesn’t count - almost any fool can go to Bible College.

Seriously. Raise some butterflies.
Click to expand...
But we must remember. From caterpillar to butterfly, even that process is not always pretty.
 
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