If You Could Talk to Your Eighteen Year old Self

fureverywhere

fureverywhere

beloved friend who will always be with us in spiri
Location
Northern NJ, USA
Here's an interesting question. If you could go back and talk to yourself at eighteen knowing what you know now...what words of wisdom might you have?
For me I would spell it out gently:
Yep romance is fun but first you need education and skills. You have the rest of your life for relationships.

You have no business having human offspring. Please trust me on this. As soon as you find gainful employment I will give you a basket of puppies and kittens. All of the love and none of the heartache.

Once you are established in a career you want to seriously figure out money management. Now you are young and healthy. In thirty or forty years you might need some investments to fall back on.

Your teeth, Equal doesn't exist yet...but cut down the sugar, brush and floss twice a day if not more, your teeth are very good friends, you want them forever.

Finally, you think you and your Mom are on different planets. Someday you might understand her almost completely. Open your mind and enjoy her in the short time you will still have together. Find some common thread there...you both love history and books, Clark Gable was a hot number across the board...really, keep her with you.
 

Don't count on being forgiven for every stupid and selfish thing you do.

But also forgive yourself. For every stupid, selfish thing you did that you remember...the others involved may have long forgotten. No use beating yourself up for what others might not even remember. And if they still hold a grudge twenty or thirty years on who needs them?
 

fureverywhere said:
Here's an interesting question. If you could go back and talk to yourself at eighteen knowing what you know now...what words of wisdom might you have?
For me I would spell it out gently:
Yep romance is fun but first you need education and skills. You have the rest of your life for relationships.

You have no business having human offspring. Please trust me on this. As soon as you find gainful employment I will give you a basket of puppies and kittens. All of the love and none of the heartache.

Once you are established in a career you want to seriously figure out money management. Now you are young and healthy. In thirty or forty years you might need some investments to fall back on.

Your teeth, Equal doesn't exist yet...but cut down the sugar, brush and floss twice a day if not more, your teeth are very good friends, you want them forever.

Finally, you think you and your Mom are on different planets. Someday you might understand her almost completely. Open your mind and enjoy her in the short time you will still have together. Find some common thread there...you both love history and books, Clark Gable was a hot number across the board...really, keep her with you.
Click to expand...

Wow, I've gotta send you back to talk to my 18 year old self!
 
Stop trying so hard, it is ok, you are worthy, however imperfect, we are all under construction. Let go of expecting most of your family to love you, not everyone can escape their own gravity. Let go of survivor's guilt, embrace your humanity, you paid

a steep price for it. Enjoy university, you are on the right path. Never stop loving or laughing, nurture that vulnerable empathy that is your finest gift, continue to write the poetry you love. Don't allow others to reduce you to a pretty doll, you are so much

more. Walk on the wild side, mainstream you are not. Eccentricity has it's own rewards. Be true to your own voice. Believe in your resilient spirit. Love is a verb, and for you, a vocation is necessary. Huge hugs from your future self, I am waiting for you!
 
I guess I'm fortunate because my advice would be to do what I did. Was always well employed, married young and still married to the same woman. We set goals and achieved the earlier goals so we set new ones. Enjoyed life all along but listened to the advice in our late twenties to prepare for retirement, so that we didn't have to depend on Soc. Sec. Other advice was to pay attention to our health. We did and enjoy excellent health.


So my 18 yr old self and my present day self are in sync.
 
"Don't be afraid of being sent overseas. You're asking for it! Now get your butt on that plane!"

Phew, I was so nervous over nothing!
 
I would have told myself you are not as stupid as school and this world has led you to believe up until now. I was literally put in classes for slow learners in school because I was an extremely shy and unattractive child.

I would have left my home and home town the day I turned 18. I would have told myself you can make it.
 
I would have told myself you are not as stupid as school and this world has led you to believe up until now. I was literally put in classes for slow learners in school because I was an extremely shy and unattractive child.

Isn't it sad how the education system worked in the old days. Either you went with the pack or they'd weed you out as retarded. In 4th grade I ended up with a teacher who cracked the whip. Some kids are differently abled. I excelled in reading and history. Math and numbers went over my head. They put me in a slow school for a year too. Surrounded by kids with extremely special needs...because I couldn't figure out multiplication? That's negligence on the school's part.

And it stays with you even as an adult. I was painfully shy and bookish. I have to remind myself of that, if anything I'm rather outspoken now. I also went on to graduate from college with honors...take that Mrs. Miller...I still can't do math, that's what calculators are for;)

Something else I would tell my eighteen year old self...

Our family tree is full of heart disease, cancer, alcoholism, possibly mental illness.

Right now none of that stuff is so scary, but it's what you do now that will keep you healthy down the road. Cigarettes don't make you badass. They cost money, make you smell bad and toadly eff up your lungs. Likewise alcohol, really nothing exciting there. You're better off with a lifetime of diet Pepsi and fruit juice. Much healthier and you aren't missing anything.

Another thing is getting your head in order. If you feel like something is wrong you might be right. Find yourself a good therapist. Don't be afraid to try medication. It can make all the difference sometimes. Taking care of yourself now might change your whole life in the future. Oh and one of the most important things of all? Get on the phone right now and call your Mom and tell her you love her.
 
Enjoy your friends and family and the time you spend together with them. Time goes by much faster than you think, and someday all you will have left is the memories of them.
 
It wouldn't matter what advice I wanted to give - my 18 year old self had already heard it from various sources and would not listen to it from them, so would not listen to it from my 70 year old self.
 
School, school, school and more school. We weren't 'allowed' to continue our eduction after high school, factory work was the way to go. I furthered my education after I got out of the house and was married. It was sure different way back then.
 
Cherish your youth each and every day, and plan for your old age. I pretty much did the latter, but at a little older age than my teens.
 
Take time out for more fun and make good friends with a girl first and then maybe sex. Don't criticize yourself.
Therpists will be a waste of your time and money--they will never understand you because you are so
unique. Work out more. Money will become much more important than you know. Spend more money on clothesto look nice. Appearance matters. Don't listen to stupid cliches like "live your dream" . You are happy now,
even if you do not feel so happy.

Of course, I would not listen anyway.
 
Enjoy your teen body, your twenty year old body, your thirty and forty year old bodies. Healthiest you will ever be...your joints and teeth might turn on you someday.
 
I heard only the rich could go to college. Get married and have kids that's what women are supposed to do. I'd be screaming in my ear, NOOOO!!! You don't have to get married or have kids, but you do need to get some extra education even if it's not at some snobby college. The sad thing is I had no role models or even a picture of what any other kind of life could be like. So a life of struggles is all I ever knew. Things turned out ok in the end but could have been so much better. Never settle for less than best.
 
Don't go to University because when you graduate Britain will be in the grip of a recession and you won't find a job.Which I didn't for two years after graduating- and I was unemployed for appromately half the eighties. Unlike my sister who went straight from school to work.
 

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