If you found out, by accident,.......

senile1

senile1

Member
Location
Virginia, USA
......your partner was formally of the same gender as you, could you,would you continue the relationship??
This may appear as an absurd situation, but as sex changes become more the "norm" for people with "identity" crisis', eventually there is going to occur a relationship where one partner may not be so forth coming with the truth about themselves and/ or their past. My belief , because there is the expectation of children from younger couples, this is more likely to happen to older people seeking new partners at a later stage of their lives. I mean this as an intellectual subject, not intended to embarrass and/or demean any person/ groups, so please only intelligent and respectful honest replies.




I try to keep an open mind in most situations, as well, I am for equal rights for all people, but I could not, in all honesty; knowingly enter into or continue in such a relationship.



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I'd like to think I'm open minded enough that I'd continue the relationship, assuming that we were compatible. That said, I think part of it would depend on whether the other person had attempted to deceive me. Trust is a big part of any relationship and a betrayal of trust is a deal breaker most of the time.
 

I do try to be open minded, but in this case no. Would feel our relationship had been based on a lie. Honesty is to important to me.
 
I find it hard to imagine that I wouldn't know the true gender of my partner, especially if we had an intimate relationship. Also, as Bob mentioned, not telling me something like this from the very beginning would be very deceptive. Being a straight woman, I don't think I could continue a romantic relationship in this case, perhaps just friends only.
 
I don't think that any gender reassignment surgery is good enough to get-by the scrutiny that I subject my partner(s)[past tense] to.

I would know.

But, to answer your question, yes, if I had been fooled by such hardware modification, then I would just stay in the relationship*

Edit

* Since this is a "what if" discussion, I think 15 stable years together is of more value than a single matter of deception, albiet a fairly big one. I think that discovering your mate was a Mafia hitman(or woman) in a former life would be more alarming than the transgender scenario.
 
I'm afraid it would make me feel uncomfortable. Each to their own, I guess. I certainly could be friends but there are some things that are "deal breakers" and I'm afraid that would be one.
 
Since this is a "what if" discussion, I think 15 stable years together is of more value than a single matter of deception, albiet a fairly big one. I think that discovering your mate was a Mafia hitman(or woman) in a former life would be more alarming than the transgender scenario.

I agree, if I really loved the person their gender or perceived gender or birth gender or whatever the heck wouldn't matter. But something like they were a closet criminal would be a deal breaker.
 
Well, I really can't imagine not being aware of something like this for 15 years! I mean that's a looooong time not to notice anything.
 
SeaBreeze said:
Well, I really can't imagine not being aware of something like this for 15 years! I mean that's a looooong time not to notice anything.
Click to expand...

I agree. I've also read that in female to male gender reassignment surgery, the ersatz male plumbing does not work like the natural set, and doesn't really look right, either. I think a woman would most certainly notice. Dunno about the other way around (male to female).
 
Then again if after five, ten, fifteen years relations with that person has kept your boat rocking just fine...should it really make a difference? Then again we can take gender all the way back to the biological fact that all fetuses are more or less female until the testosterone fairy shows up;)
 
Yes... absolutely.. as my husband and I are in a very strong and happy relationship

I would admit however, that I would be completely shocked and more than a bit upset that this was not revealed before.
 
A great movie from a few years ago, The Crying Game, took a look (sorry, couldn't resist) when a man about to sleep with a gorgeous woman that he had fallen in love with saw the equipment, they did remain friends only...
 
I think it would bother me regarding trust. I mean there aren't too many things that shock or appall me anymore...hey life's too short:playful: But if you are really madly deeply connected to someone...it's certainly something that should come up before several years would pass. The person should know you well enough to gauge your reaction ahead of time.
 
Depends I guess. If I find out on day two, it'll probably be over, but if I find out after 15 years, different story entirely. I'd probably continue, just for the fact that won't let something, that hasn't obviously bothered me for 15 years, bother me now. In other words: Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me for 15 years, well done!
 
I live today not yesterday or tomorrow.

I love the person that I love today, not the one that was yesterday.
 
As a 70 year old rather conservatively raised old man....

"Sweetie, maybe we should shower together so I can shave your back."
"Sweet Thing, isn't it about time to shave your chest?"
"Honey, when you had that 'lop off' surgery, why didn't you have them shorten your big feet?"
"I really appreciate you sharing your transgender surgery experience with me, Babe. Now, I've got a little confession also. I, too, began life as a male and had the same surgery you did. Only difference? I couldn't afford all those new 'girlie' clothes so still dress like a male. It's not too noticeable since old men can have 'man boobs' anyway. Quite a coincidence, Huh??"

Nope! First, I sincerely hope and pray that my beautiful wife and I have many more years to share. If that dream is shattered and I do reach out for companionship, it would be just that. I would have no objections to spending time traveling with, playing golf with, or being seen on the street with a lady who used to be a man... as a friend and companion... as long as they had been honest and upfront from early in the relationship. Now... how my kids would deal with dad spending time with a transgender person................???????
 

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