If you say "no', why you should be able to keep an expensive token of my affection?

Petruchio in Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew," gave us another aspect of this topic. In "Kiss Me Kate," the musical version, Cole Porter gave him these lyrics to sing:

I've come to wive it wealthily in Padua,
If wealthily then happily in Padua.
If my wife has a bag of gold,
Do I care if the bag be old?
I've come to wive it wealthily in Padua.
He's come to wive it wealthily in Padua.
I heard you mutter, "Zounds, a loathsome lad you are."
I shall not be disturbed one bit
If she be but a quarter-wit,
If she only can talk of clo'es
While she powders her goddamned nose,
I've come to wive it wealthily in Padua.
He's come to wive it wealthily in Padua.
I heard you say, "Gadzooks, completely mad you are!"
'Twouldn't give me the slightest shock
If her knees now and then should knock,
If her eye were a wee bit crossed,
Were she wearing the hair she'd lost,
Still the damsel I'll make my dame,
In the dark they are all the same,
I've…
 

jujube said:
I'm sorry you have such a skewed perception of love, Win. It must be hard living with that, thinking that all women are after your money and not *you*.
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Well, maybe they're after both.
 

StarSong said:
Win, you are pretty far off base about most women's motives when choosing marital partners. There's no point in continuing this conversation because your mind was made up about women decades ago.

Several of your posts on other threads describe a horrific childhood at the hands of a particularly savage mother. I'm truly sorry for what happened to you. No child deserves to be treated that way. Furthermore, I don't blame you for being suspicious of women or believing us to be untrustworthy beasts. How could you not?

The thing is though, only you can reconsider the lens through which you perceive women. Not even a Mother Teresa can wipe it clean for you. It's something you must choose to do for yourself.
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My knowledge of women's motives doesn't come from my abusive mother; it comes from several relationships - before, during & after my marriage. And married friends. I also have women in my family who are like that. And (as you can imagine), I really got a chuckle when I heard this song from Marty Robbins: (by the way, I didn't write it)
 
win231 said:
LOL! Which one of us sounds bitter??
:D
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While not offering an opinion on whose bitter and whose not, I will say that it' not difficult to spot bitter people. They leave a trail of comments, on a variety of subjects, which leaves no doubt as to their state of mind. Not on any one particular subject but more an unhappiness that flows through most of their posts.

Not necessarily a fault, it just is what it is.
 
win231 said:
My knowledge of women's motives doesn't come from my abusive mother; it comes from several relationships - before, during & after my marriage. And married friends. I also have women in my family who are like that. And (as you can imagine), I really got a chuckle when I heard this song from Marty Robbins: (by the way, I didn't write it)
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Not all women are after money.

I divorced at 24 and not long after this divorced Italian guy asked me to marry him. He was an only child and his parents were reputed to be well off, so needless to say he would inherit it all. It was also obvious that he was a mama's boy and had been catered to all his life. I said no. I did not find him physically attractive or mentally stimulating. I am also not the caregiving type, have enough taking care of myself. Lucky for him that I rejected him because not long after he met a nurse and married her and she was willing and able to cater to him. She was even willing to move with him to Italy, which is something I would NEVER do, I love my good old USA.
 
StarSong said:
Most women are looking for men who will be faithful, truthful, positive, enjoyable, open-minded, and pull their own weight. Not to float the entire financial boat, but willing and able to do their share. That's a "good catch."

Buying a $5000 ring? Pfffttt... over the course of a lifetime that's chump change. Women are far more interested in a guy who'll change his children's diapers without whining, coach soccer or Little League, help with homework, be pleasant and helpful to the in-laws and his own family, make dinner and/or do the dishes, give a hand with the laundry, stay faithful, tell the truth, and do all of this with a positive attitude and a smile on his face.

There are some guys who would never be considered a good catch, no matter how much money they have.
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Jesus Christ!

That's quite a check list you got there!

Reminds me of the time I was thinking about joining the Boy Scouts.

Fortunately I never did join up. Mom couldn't afford the money for the uniform.

https://meritbadge.org/wiki/index.php/Scout_Law
“A Scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent.”
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fuzzybuddy said:
I was watching TV, and there was a story about a woman, who created a ensemble (?) ring, pendant, earrings out of all the diamond engagement rings she received as requests for marriage. I thought- what!! she kept the engagements rings?????
Turns out this is considered proper etiquette. keeping diamond engagement rings is perfectly acceptable. As a very cheap male, I don't like that policy. If I'm forking over my heart and hard earned money to buy you an engagement ring,; and you say "no". Then you should return the ring, regardless of policy. I don't understand why you should be able to keep an expensive token of my affection. What do you feel?
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It is proper etiquette for a woman to return the ring upon saying "no". This woman has the wrong etiquette and the wrong goals in mind.
 
Trade said:
Jesus Christ!

That's quite a check list you got there!

Reminds me of the time I was thinking about joining the Boy Scouts.

Fortunately I never did join up. Mom couldn't afford the money for the uniform.

https://meritbadge.org/wiki/index.php/Scout_Law
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That does sound pretty over the top, doesn't it? Sorry if I was unclear - I didn't mean that women are looking for a husband who does all of these things all of the time, just that he should be open to pitching in with household and family responsibilities.

Both parties need to be honest, positive, and sexually faithful.
 

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