I'm going to sell my Elevator company stock

[ohioboy]

It keeps going up and down.

 

[Keesha]

Groan.

 

[ohioboy]

I'm getting rid of my Sodium Chloride stock, it's not worth a grain of salt.

 

[Pappy]

A bike in town keeps running me over:
It’s a vicious cycle.

 

[jujube]

I have a part interest in a funeral home but I think I'll sell out. It's a dying business.

 

[Irwin]

I'm investing in a trash collection company. They say business is picking up.

 

[Gaer]

O.K.

 

[squatting dog]

It keeps going up and down.

That reminds me.... Day Traders LUV ridin' the Rails!

 

[jujube]

I'm going to buy a bakery if I can raise the dough.

I'd go to work for Michelin but I'm afraid I'd get tired.

 

[ohioboy]

I bought a new romance novel, Under the Bleachers by Seymour Butts.

 

[jujube]

I just checked out a bestseller from the library: "Race to the Outhouse" by Willy Makit. It's illustrated by Betty Wont.

 

[Pappy]

I was a bread man for 26 years.
I was rolling in dough..

 

[HazyDavey]

A toasted cheese sandwich went into a bar to get a drink.
The bartender said, "I'm sorry but we don't serve food here."

 

[Mr. Ed]

I'm going to sell Chicken Stock

 

[jujube]

A pair of jumper cables walks into a rough bar. The bartender says, "OK, you can have a drink but don't start anything!"

 

[Aunt Bea]

 

[Gardenlover]

A piece of string walks into a tavern and sits down at the bar.

The bartender says, "Sorry mate, we don't serve pieces of string in here, get lost."

Upset, the piece of string walks out the door. A sudden thought strikes him. He ties himself in a knot and messes his hair up.

He walks back into the tavern and approaches the bar. The bartender says, "Aren't you that piece of string from before...?"

"No," says the piece of string, "I'm a frayed knot."

 

[jujube]

I opened a restaurant in space but it failed. The food was great but it had no atmosphere.

Then I bought stock in a company that manufactured a new kind of Velcro. It was a rip-off.

I took an electric cord along when I went shopping last week. Well, it WAS an outlet mall, wasn't it?

I dated a very nice baker for a while. He was very attentive and brought me flours every time.

You know why eggs can't tell jokes? They crack up too easily.