grahamg
Old codger
- Location
- South of Manchester, UK
More of the same from you know who,..
I'm looking for someone exceptional, (who doesn't think they're an exceptional woman)
- Thread starter grahamg
- Start date
grahamg
Old codger
- Location
- South of Manchester, UK
What does Oprah have to say,............:
More here:
https://www.oprah.com/app/relationships.html
"What is a healthy relationship? That's a two-sided situation. Unfortunately, when you're stuck in a one-sided relationship, it's easy to fool yourself into thinking that what you're experiencing is normal—when it could actually be toxic, or even loveless, says ******* clinical psychologist and author of . So how do you know if you're giving more than you're getting? We asked the experts to share some tell-tale signs.
You're constantly second-guessing yourself.
Am I pretty enough? Smart enough? Funny enough? ***** says that if you find that you're repeatedly asking yourself whether you live up to your partner's expectations, it's possible that your relationship is one-sided. "You are focusing your attention and energy more on being liked than on truly being known and nurtured," she says. Instead, she recommends learning to be authentic within yourself. In doing so, you will attract relationships that match the true you.
You apologize more than you need to.
Sure, sometimes you're at fault. But if you end up saying you're sorry EVERY. SINGLE. FIGHT it's time to take a deeper look at your relationship. You may think you're helping by not rocking the boat, but this kind of behavior is an unhealthy sign. "Avoiding conflict results in dismissing your own feelings," says ********, founder and psychotherapist at . Relationship expert agrees. "Conflict resolution in a relationship should be a team approach," she says. "It should never be one person's responsibility."
You're always making excuses for your partner.
Playing defense is good...on the soccer field. But if you're consistently justifying your partner's behavior to your circle of friends, family and work then it's likely they are seeing something you are not. "In my former marriage, I remember often saying 'He's just cranky today,'" says certified relationship expert *********. "Turns out, he was not. He was abusive." ****** stresses, "If all the others in your life are alarmed, you may have reason to be, too."
You feel insecure about your relationship.
If you often question the status of your relationship and are never truly at ease with your partner, then that's a sign that you are in a one-sided relationship, according to *****. If you can't stop analyzing how you can be more alluring, and what you can say or wear to keep your partner desiring you, because you feel so unsettled, that could be a red flag. To be all-consumed with the relationship is not only exhausting, it's not sustainable, ***** says. *******, relationship expert and author agrees: "If you're constantly feeling depleted, you're working too hard in the relationship," she says."
More here:
https://www.oprah.com/app/relationships.html
"What is a healthy relationship? That's a two-sided situation. Unfortunately, when you're stuck in a one-sided relationship, it's easy to fool yourself into thinking that what you're experiencing is normal—when it could actually be toxic, or even loveless, says ******* clinical psychologist and author of . So how do you know if you're giving more than you're getting? We asked the experts to share some tell-tale signs.
You're constantly second-guessing yourself.
Am I pretty enough? Smart enough? Funny enough? ***** says that if you find that you're repeatedly asking yourself whether you live up to your partner's expectations, it's possible that your relationship is one-sided. "You are focusing your attention and energy more on being liked than on truly being known and nurtured," she says. Instead, she recommends learning to be authentic within yourself. In doing so, you will attract relationships that match the true you.
You apologize more than you need to.
Sure, sometimes you're at fault. But if you end up saying you're sorry EVERY. SINGLE. FIGHT it's time to take a deeper look at your relationship. You may think you're helping by not rocking the boat, but this kind of behavior is an unhealthy sign. "Avoiding conflict results in dismissing your own feelings," says ********, founder and psychotherapist at . Relationship expert agrees. "Conflict resolution in a relationship should be a team approach," she says. "It should never be one person's responsibility."
You're always making excuses for your partner.
Playing defense is good...on the soccer field. But if you're consistently justifying your partner's behavior to your circle of friends, family and work then it's likely they are seeing something you are not. "In my former marriage, I remember often saying 'He's just cranky today,'" says certified relationship expert *********. "Turns out, he was not. He was abusive." ****** stresses, "If all the others in your life are alarmed, you may have reason to be, too."
You feel insecure about your relationship.
If you often question the status of your relationship and are never truly at ease with your partner, then that's a sign that you are in a one-sided relationship, according to *****. If you can't stop analyzing how you can be more alluring, and what you can say or wear to keep your partner desiring you, because you feel so unsettled, that could be a red flag. To be all-consumed with the relationship is not only exhausting, it's not sustainable, ***** says. *******, relationship expert and author agrees: "If you're constantly feeling depleted, you're working too hard in the relationship," she says."
grahamg
Old codger
- Location
- South of Manchester, UK
You and me too,............, of that there is no doubt whatsoever!!!I'm looking for someone exceptional
Trouble is, the majority of the ladies are looking for someone exceptional too, so that puts me at the back of the queue.
Listening to Oprah, and the lovely lady/expert though reminds me no matter how good they are in their job, (and I do believe psychologists have much to offer, (Dr. Phil off the Oprah Winfrey show I thought was very very good), ultimately I'd suggest there is "no formula guaranteed to work in affairs of the heart".
What annoys you in a woman, I'd maybe find endearing, (and vice versa), so we'll probably be left to try to sort it out for ourselves, (or until the inclination to look dies completely, and its getting pretty sketchy already in my case
!).As far as the woman presenting her predicament on the show goes I'd suggest she might be asked just how selfish she might have become, and whether any kind of self obsession was involved, because she's obviously a very attractive woman who should be having no difficulty finding a decent enough partner/husband.
Relationships of mine that have not quite gone according to plan were maybe doomed to fail because our outlook on life wasn't sufficiently closely aligned or whatever, but looking back on some instances where trouble erupted I can see where I could have handled things differently too. To give a simple/stupid example I remember one lady I thought a great deal about visiting my house and saying she wanted to watch the most well known soap opera in the UK, but as I'd chosen to never watch it, (and she'd refused to allow me to watch some sport on her tv recently), I told her she couldn't watch it on my television.
She went off home quite upset almost immediately, and looking back I should certainly have been bigger man than trying to come between a woman and her preferred soap opera shouldn't I, (and then I could have made great mileage thereafter about who gets to watch things they like on one another's television!).
Last edited:
There you are Graham.
Last edited:
grahamg
Old codger
- Location
- South of Manchester, UK
Off travelling maybe today on the railway, if the local trains are running, otherwise a steady day in Settle, as I'm still in the Yorkshire Dales, and its one of my favourite small towns here abouts!
grahamg
Old codger
- Location
- South of Manchester, UK
Some ore wisdom from a mate posting on another social media platform:
"Do you know why relationships don't last anymore? We are more called on phones than we are on our partners. Nowadays nobody fights for love, everyone finds it easier to replace the one they love.
It's so hard to find a good woman or man nowadays, almost everyone is just looking for a relationship without commitment and not dreaming of owning a home and family. Appreciate your wife, respect your partner, don't lose him/her and don't put your relationship on a spot. The search for beauty should be in the soul and match the character. Woman take care of your man. Husband, partner should take care of wife, partner. He/she should remember that what is old to some is new to others. If he/she looks at another man/woman, they must know that others are looking at the wife/husband, partner the same way.
~ Love is the most important thing"
"Do you know why relationships don't last anymore? We are more called on phones than we are on our partners. Nowadays nobody fights for love, everyone finds it easier to replace the one they love.
It's so hard to find a good woman or man nowadays, almost everyone is just looking for a relationship without commitment and not dreaming of owning a home and family. Appreciate your wife, respect your partner, don't lose him/her and don't put your relationship on a spot. The search for beauty should be in the soul and match the character. Woman take care of your man. Husband, partner should take care of wife, partner. He/she should remember that what is old to some is new to others. If he/she looks at another man/woman, they must know that others are looking at the wife/husband, partner the same way.
~ Love is the most important thing"
grahamg
Old codger
- Location
- South of Manchester, UK
A fathers rights site take on matters in the USA:
(Deleted due to being largely rubbish!, see below)
(Deleted due to being largely rubbish!, see below)
Last edited:
grahamg
Old codger
- Location
- South of Manchester, UK
Didn't know that,...., (I'll delete the rubbish therefore!).
grahamg
Old codger
- Location
- South of Manchester, UK
Another way this exceptional woman must be really really exceptional is her remaining completely dumb on my lack of dress sense, (or when I look like an "unmade bed" most of the time!
).
grahamg
Old codger
- Location
- South of Manchester, UK
Two reasons for posting this morning, (maybe three?), 1. to draw attention to the post above penned by someone with good insight in my view, 2. allow myself a way of posting a link to a long running BBC radio show called "Desert Island Discs", and a lady featured on the programme recently called Miranda Hart, (third one could be revive the thread!
).Miranda Hart finds her way onto this thread because when asked about her boyfriends, and attitude to relationships etc., she describes herself as "unique", (good girl, we're all unique aren't we, hence what suits one wont necessarily suit another, so in that sense we're all looking for someone who is "exceptional"!).
Miranda is a very popular comedian here, as you will find out if you listen to her account of her life to date, and the very humourous ways she finds to deal with any awkward questions or situations, (here goes):
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b03m3nhk
