Invited to a Celebration of Life event this Saturday

debodun

debodun

SF VIP
Location
way upstate in New York, USA
I met a casual acquaintance yesterday who invited me to this event for her daughter-in-law who passed away a few months ago. She also mentioned that her son hasn't gotten over it and will likely break down during the event. I felt awkward since I hardly know these people and it will be very emotional for the people involved, but she seemed very insistent I attend. I just gave an non-committal answer. What would you do?
 

The other thing also is.. your casual acquaintance might be happy for you to join in.. but what about the other folks there who don't know you ?.. what if the deceased family come and ask you to say a few words about your friendship with their loved one ..what would you do.. you couldn't say...well ermm..I only came for the cake... :D
 
hollydolly said:
The other thing also is.. your casual acquaintance might be happy for you to join in.. but what about the other folks there who don't know you ?.. what if the deceased family come and ask you to say a few words about your friendship with their loved one ..what would you do.. you couldn't say...well ermm..I only came for the cake... :D
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... if there is a cake at all :ROFLMAO:
 
hollydolly said:
The other thing also is.. your casual acquaintance might be happy for you to join in.. but what about the other folks there who don't know you ?.. what if the deceased family come and ask you to say a few words about your friendship with their loved one ..what would you do.. you couldn't say...well ermm..I only came for the cake... :D
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Exactly - might be a lot of people there I don't know, but I doubt anyone would ask me to eulogize since I didn't know the deceased.
 
debodun said:
Exactly - might be a lot of people there I don't know, but I doubt anyone would ask me to eulogize since I didn't know the deceased.
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No I wasn't thinking so much of the Eulogy, more small talk.. being approached by family members asking how you knew their daughter/sister/wife etc
 
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I wonder why they wanted you there? Maybe she/he feels generally unsupported right now through this and she's looking for support in every nook and cranny of life?

IDK - I tend to think, "What is the downside of me going?" If the downside is too much, if it's more than I can give right now, then I will bow out. But if the downside is negligible, then how can it hurt you to show up for another?

On the other hand, if you don't really like this person, then why go, right?
 
VintageBetter said:
I wonder why they wanted you there? Maybe she/he feels generally unsupported right now through this and she's looking for support in every nook and cranny of life?
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I can attest to that being the case sometimes: the last family funeral/memorial service I was in charge of (my biol. dad's), hardly anyone showed up. I remember feeling hurt that even though they may not have known or liked my dad that well (and if they knew him well, they probably wouldn't have liked him for sure), didn't they want to support my brother and me?

Then again, this being just a casual acquaintance, I can understand how you feel, Deb; do what you're comfortable with.
 
Remy said:
DO. NOT. GO!

Seriously, you do not owe them anything. I don't know why this woman is inviting people that are more in the acquaintance category but you do not need to be part of their grief. It's an emotional burden to you. I would not do it.
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I wouldn't like someone inviting random people to the memorial of my family member. That's awkward for everyone. It's a distraction. And it's thoughtless.

Save the family that headache by not going.
 

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