Irony or Karma, shaking wth nerves

Radrook said:
Very true. They should have left me with my Aunt Modesta, my mother's older sister, whom I believed was my mother, if that is the way they were going to behave.

BTW

Another thing I found disturbing was that my father would hook his rather unusually narrow ankle around the apartment radiator and hang his to upper body out the eleventh floor window in order to implore God to scythe my mother down.

I guess he felt that his prayer would be heard better if he implored God when clouds were lower due to a low fog. I feared that at any moment his would lose his grip and go plummeting to his death.

After having fervently prayed and seeing my mom totally unscathed, he then proceed to blame God for placing cotton in his ears in order not to listen to him. My mom would respond by saying that a donkey's prayer never reaches heaven. On and on it went day and night without respite ad infinitum.
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Oh Dear God !!.... There are so many different ways of parents to abuse their children. It's little wonder you suffered a breakdown...how old were you ?
 

My parents didn't give me breakdowns. I gave them breakdowns. My mother told me I was not an easy child to raise (unlike my timid sister) and that every white hair on her head came from me. She wasn't mad at me, just amazed.
 
Adding to helicopter parents and bulldozer parents and all the others are eggshell parents.

The child has to "walk on eggshells" constantly afraid of what might be the next thing that sets mom or dad off.

Wear the wrong shirt? Leave a spoon in the sink? Close the door too loudly? Those are some of the things that the child could do to send an eggshell parent into an hours-long tirade or a beating.

Leaves a child wanting to be invisible, to attract no attention, always afraid to make anyone mad.
 
jujube said:
Adding to helicopter parents and bulldozer parents and all the others are eggshell parents.

The child has to "walk on eggshells" constantly afraid of what might be the next thing that sets mom or dad off.

Wear the wrong shirt? Leave a spoon in the sink? Close the door too loudly? Those are some of the things that the child could do to send an eggshell parent into an hours-long tirade or a beating.

Leaves a child wanting to be invisible, to attract no attention, always afraid to make anyone mad.
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Jujeube you've just described exactly what set my father off 90% of the time... he broke my back because of an ironing board one time..
 
Holly, what a tragic experience your life must have been. I have no medical training but your symptoms could be psychosomatic. A disorder that happens when mental stress and distress, cause or make, a physical condition, and its symptoms, worse. “Psycho” means “relating to the mind.” “Somatic” means “relating to the body.”

Paco Dennis' observed what a kindly character you have:
"Through all the abuse you encountered you have made a very fine human being of yourself. A joy to others and always looking for the good in people." He continues: "Holly you are an inspiration to me to keep that spirit going."
Wise words indeed.

It's impossible to find words of comfort given the traumatic experience that was your everyday life, but you are just as Paco Dennis describes, no need to try and add anything. I wish you well dear lady.
 
jujube said:
Adding to helicopter parents and bulldozer parents and all the others are eggshell parents.

The child has to "walk on eggshells" constantly afraid of what might be the next thing that sets mom or dad off.

Wear the wrong shirt? Leave a spoon in the sink? Close the door too loudly? Those are some of the things that the child could do to send an eggshell parent into an hours-long tirade or a beating.

Leaves a child wanting to be invisible, to attract no attention, always afraid to make anyone mad.
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That was our life, at the hands of our father. It created a life-long need for quiet at home.
 
Karma is often capitalized : the force generated by a person's actions held in Hinduism and Buddhism to perpetuate transmigration and in its ethical consequences to determine the nature of the person's next existence
Each individual is born with karma, the residual from past lives that must be resolved …—Diane Goldner

Broadly defined Karma - a force considered as affecting the events of one's life



"You reap what you sow." I call this idea karma, that what goes around comes around. —Anthony Walton
 
The parents can certainly leave scars on the children. I was thinking about the harm some siblings do to each other. Some of that is directly related to the way parents treated them as well.
 
Alizerine said:
The parents can certainly leave scars on the children. I was thinking about the harm some siblings do to each other. Some of that is directly related to the way parents treated them as well.
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that's very true. One of my brothers turned ointo a bully to us girls. he was being bullied by my father, and he let his anger out on us.. so we were being bullied by both my father and my brother...
 
jujube said:
Adding to helicopter parents and bulldozer parents and all the others are eggshell parents.

The child has to "walk on eggshells" constantly afraid of what might be the next thing that sets mom or dad off.

Wear the wrong shirt? Leave a spoon in the sink? Close the door too loudly? Those are some of the things that the child could do to send an eggshell parent into an hours-long tirade or a beating.

Leaves a child wanting to be invisible, to attract no attention, always afraid to make anyone mad.
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You are absolutely right. My mother's crazed brain continues to amaze me. It's like she cataloged everything I did and then when she needed to go off in a rage, she threw all this small and nothing stuff at me in a rage. Her rages could last 2 days. Walking in the room was all I needed to do. But her rage? Nah, she forgot all about that.
 
Alizerine said:
The parents can certainly leave scars on the children. I was thinking about the harm some siblings do to each other. Some of that is directly related to the way parents treated them as well.
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Oh absolutely. Having to realize my brother closest in age to me, is a probable personality disorder and abusive himself was devastating. I thought he was the one who understood but he turned out very different.

I wish I wasn't in my 50's before I started to process all this and now my stepfather is ruining my years.
 
hollydolly said:
that's very true. One of my brothers turned ointo a bully to us girls. he was being bullied by my father, and he let his anger out on us.. so we were being bullied by both my father and my brother...
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That's more horrible. The cycle of abuse some can't stop.
 

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