Is 76 Too Old To Babysit A Toddler Daily?

OneEyedDiva

OneEyedDiva

SF VIP
Location
New Jersey
I have an arthritic neighbor who lives above me. She is 76 and for about two years has been watching her grandson who will probably be four soon on weekdays. I know he tires her out. She told me last summer that she was going to tell her son and DIL that they'd have to find someplace else to put him. So far that didn't happen. For some reason her DIL did not want to put the little boy in pre-school. I have no idea if they are paying her since I didn't and would never ask. IMO 76 is too old to be saddled with an active toddler all day, 5 days a week. What do you think?
 

Absolutely yes. Occasionally would be OK, but all day, every day? No way. Especially with arthritis.

At least a four year old is easier than a two year old. I babysat a two year old two-three days a week for eight months for as long as 10 hours a day. It about killed me sometimes. And I did it for free.

I'm betting they aren't paying Granny anything.
 
It's hard to imagine a person with arthritis handling a 4 year old every day, but who knows, people are different. But I sure hope she is being well paid.
 

jujube said:
Absolutely yes. Occasionally would be OK, but all day, every day? No way. Especially with arthritis.

At least a four year old is easier than a two year old. I babysat a two year old two-three days a week for eight months for as long as 10 hours a day. It about killed me sometimes. And I did it for free.

I'm betting they aren't paying Granny anything.
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Well he was two when she started Jujube. And I believe you are right. I seriously doubt she's being paid anything or if she it...only a small amount. They probably couldn't afford to pay for nursery school for him. Child care costs are SO prohibitive for young families these days, especially if neither has high paying jobs. I don't know if they're eligible for any assistance.
 
In general I would say yes, it's too much. There are of course exceptions but usually with arthritis, it seems too much. I hope she can get out of this as soon as possible.
 
Well obviously, it is her decision but the parents should consider what they are asking of the poor lady. A 2-4 yr old boy is very very active, at least the way I remember it! I hope they aren't taking advantage of her though it seems like they might be. It's not that we don't love our grandchildren, the energy level (in most cases) is no longer there. I hope they soon can make other arrangements.
 
There are as many answers as there are toddlers and 76 year olds.

If the woman feels that it is too much for her then she would be sensible to discuss it with her family and stop or reduce the number of days.

I would be a little concerned that the age of the caregiver might stifle the activity of a toddler who could easily end up being parked in front of the the TV all day.

On the other side of the coin the activity required to care for a toddler might help to keep the woman limber, her condition might get worse if she gives in and sits in front of the TV all day.

I would let them work it out unless asked by them to become involved.
 
jujube said:
Absolutely yes. Occasionally would be OK, but all day, every day? No way. Especially with arthritis.

At least a four year old is easier than a two year old. I babysat a two year old two-three days a week for eight months for as long as 10 hours a day. It about killed me sometimes. And I did it for free.

I'm betting they aren't paying Granny anything.
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Aha - - the "terrible two's!!!!" I recall our kids and some of our grandkids, when they were at that age and although my wife took the brunt of the "punishment", they were exhausting days, We were never asked to care for the grandkids on a regular basis- - - -usually when some sort of illness or emergency hit their home and the folks were laid up for a bit. We were nowhere near 76 at the time. These same grandkids are all in their 20's today and they still pop in to visit on a regular basis. Thankfully, they are easier to handle at 22 than they were at 2 and the visits are more relaxing.:D
 
Well, I'm only 70 and I certainly wouldn't want to try to keep up with a toddler! None of my business, but I think it is very inconsiderate and selfish of the parents to expect a 76 year old woman to watch their child 8-10 hours a day. They need to find another way, IMHO -- this is their problem to manage, not the grandmother's.
 
We have a couple of the great grandkids stay with us between Christmas and New Years...when school is out. We're in pretty good shape, but after a few days of full time activity with the little ones, it is almost a relief when they go back home. I don't see how a person in their '70's, with any kind of health issues could take good care of a small child on a continuing basis.
 
I think the woman is being taken advantage of, and the long term frequency of caring for the toddler would be tough on a 60 year old IMO. If she has arthritis and has mentioned telling her son she had trouble doing it, then there is a problem. I would think she had no time to care for herself or get any rest or reading in, etc....unfair in my eyes.
 
Aunt Bea said:
There are as many answers as there are toddlers and 76 year olds.

If the woman feels that it is too much for her then she would be sensible to discuss it with her family and stop or reduce the number of days.

I would be a little concerned that the age of the caregiver might stifle the activity of a toddler who could easily end up being parked in front of the the TV all day.

On the other side of the coin the activity required to care for a toddler might help to keep the woman limber, her condition might get worse if she gives in and sits in front of the TV all day.

I would let them work it out unless asked by them to become involved.
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The way he runs and jumps around up there, sometimes I wonder if he watches T.V. at all. I know they go out and about sometimes; she still drives. Believe me, I'm not getting involved. We're friends and she mentioned her situation to me when we were at a community meeting on night months ago. She was concerned about the amount of noise he makes. Usually it doesn't bother me but lately he's gotten even more active. I just turn up my music or plug up rather than call her and complain.
 
It depends on both the child and the grandparent. I'm 80 and I watch my great grandson on Wednesday afternoons. I don't know that I'd be up to it 4 or 5 days a week, although he's calmed down a bit from his 2 year old self. He's much easier to care for now. Fortunately, he's very much into arts and crafts, so he can become very involved in that fort lengthy periods. Every child has a different activity level and every grandparent has a different ability to tolerate being around a very active child.
The grandmother you speak of has to decide for herself what she can tolerate and be up front with her son and DIL. Actually, depending on the type of arthritis, exercise can be good.
 
I would say it depends on the senior and her children. If she wants to watch,it is 100% up to her. Her 76 may not be your 76. I realize that 62 and 60 are a long way from 76, but my wife and I spend every minute possible with our grands and greats.

Now to be rude, IMHO unless this grandmother asks you to intervene, DON'T ! MYOB
 
BlondieBoomer said:
It's hard to imagine a person with arthritis handling a 4 year old every day, but who knows, people are difrent. But I sure hope she is being well paid.
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Maybe Gran loves looking after her little grandson, even refuses payment!
Running after a little boy could keep you limber, maybe
even keeping the arthritis at bay! :eek:nthego:
 
You seriously object to the noise a child makes? Is this noise late at night? Do you sleep days,so noise is a real imposition? Why don't you invite the two of them to walk with you or just to visit. If she is overloaded an extra adult may be nice once every couple off weeks.
 
debbie in seattle said:
I think I'd be a little concerned having a 76 year old watch a child that young.
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Not every 75+ senior is any where's near alike. Many of us are still active and have most of our faculties. From studies I've read, having friends and family around help keep us happier and healthier and contribute to greater longevity. In the final analysis, the decision is hers - not ours
 
Robusta said:
You seriously object to the noise a child makes? Is this noise late at night? Do you sleep days,so noise is a real imposition? Why don't you invite the two of them to walk with you or just to visit. If she is overloaded an extra adult may be nice once every couple off weeks.
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Apparently you didn't read my response in it's entirety. If I SERIOUSLY objected, I would complain but as I said, I have not and I do whatever to compensate. Have you ever had children running around, jumping up and down over your head on a daily basis? Well I did before this neighbor moved in and the noise got so bad I was going to move. But things worked out... that neighbor moved. This child is nowhere near that bad though. And yes, sometimes I do sleep during the day when I haven't gotten enough sleep at night, plus I get up really early. If I'm not feeling well, the noise is not that pleasant. My neighbor-friend has lived over me for about 38 years. When it was her, her husband and two boys they didn't make as much noise as this little boy. I also don't know if you read my reply where I said my neighbor happened to mention her dilemma to me at a meeting we were at. She isn't happy about being put in this position and had asked that they find a pre-school for him by (this past) September. They did not. I have no intention of giving her advice. Would she take it anyway? I doubt it. Your suggestion is nice but we can't walk 12 hours a day and they can't visit 12 hours a day. She is aware that he makes noise and like I said, she takes him out and about with her sometimes during the day. This post really wasn't about the noise anyway...it was about someone her age babysitting.
 
This is just my opinion as I know nothing about it. I was told as the grandmother it was my duty to keep my GC. What kind of grandparent wouldn't want to keep their GC??? So I did for nothing. I think this lady I s being taken advantage of because she knows what will happen if she says she wants to stop. She may be afraid of upsetting the parents so much that she may not get to see him much and she may not have a lot of friends and will be too alone. Too bad someone who hasn't much to lose can't put a bug in the parent's ear for her sake.
 
It's the parent's duty to care for their child. Not the grandparent's duty. If the parents can't afford to have one of them stay home with the children, and can't afford to pay a sitter, they have no business having kids they can't take care of. How dare they force the responsibility on the grandparents?
 
dearimee said:
This is just my opinion as I know nothing about it. I was told as the grandmother it was my duty to keep my GC. What kind of grandparent wouldn't want to keep their GC??? So I did for nothing. I think this lady I s being taken advantage of because B]she knows what will happen if she says she wants to stop. She may be afraid of upsetting the parents so much that she may not get to see him much[/B] and she may not have a lot of friends and will be too alone. Too bad someone who hasn't much to lose can't put a bug in the parent's ear for her sake.
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That's pretty much the situation we were in with the Spousal Equivalent's grandchild. "Before" we were seldom allowed to visit much....."after" they got in a babysitting bind and I started sitting for free 2-3 days a week, we were...well, I can't say we were "golden", but we were at least silver-plated.

Now, I babysit when needed for the two kids and I'm pretty much granted access whenever I want. We still rank below the daughter-in-law's parents and the son's mother and grandparents, but at least we're "in the ratings". I don't delude myself, though, that the situation wouldn't revert to the old way if I were not "available" whenever needed.

It's worth it. I couldn't love those two kids more than if they were my flesh-and-blood and I believe it is reciprocated on their part. They fill a need I have; my granddaughter is grown up and has a baby of her own and I don't get to see that baby as often as I'd like.
 
For some, 76 might not be; for some, 76 might be. One thing for sure is that 76 is too old to be EXPECTED to babysit, daily or even occasionally.
 

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