Is it harder to stay social when you're older?

E

Edna 25

New Member
Location
Oklahoma
I'm 68 soon to be 69 in two months. I find i don't care as much about others opinions of me as much, but i find i worry about my family and finances more. I've become more reclusive since retirement too which prob contributes to having more time to worry.
Twenty yrs ago i worked at a job and belonged to a Lodge for a few years. Do some of you have to force yourselves to be social other than shopping or seeing family.
 

Hi, Edna. Welcome to this friendly place. I am slightly younger, 66 in a couple weeks. I retired in 2016, and was widowed last year. Yes, it can be harder, when you do not have workplace relationships. But, I think it just means we have to actively LOOK for ways to socialize.
I get together with a couple former co-workers for lunch a couple times a year. You could try a senior group, volunteering (if that suits you). Or just going to a place where like minded people meet. The library. Find some classes offered to seniors...or mixed ages. Some supermarkets offer cooking classes .
We just have to look I guess. I have found I am getting to know my neighbors more, now that I have retired.
 

Ruthanne said:
Yes I have to push myself to go out places and have no one else to push me so I tend to avoid socializing outside of my environment. The good thing about living in my apartment complex is that several times a year they have some get togethers.
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I do see my sister-in- law a few times a month. She doesn't drive much anymore and i take her to Dr. appts or to the store.
It's nice that your apartment complex has get togethers. It seems like a good way to get to know your neighbors.
 
Edna 25 said:
I do see my sister-in- law a few times a month. She doesn't drive much anymore and i take her to Dr. appts or to the store.
It's nice that your apartment complex has get togethers. It seems like a good way to get to know your neighbors.
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It's good to get out when we do isn't it. We had a New Year's Eve party here and I had a nice time visiting with a few neighbors and the managers. Very nice people in their 50s.
 
Marie5656 said:
Hi, Edna. Welcome to this friendly place. I am slightly younger, 66 in a couple weeks. I retired in 2016, and was widowed last year. Yes, it can be harder, when you do not have workplace relationships. But, I think it just means we have to actively LOOK for ways to socialize.
I get together with a couple former co-workers for lunch a couple times a year. You could try a senior group, volunteering (if that suits you). Or just going to a place where like minded people meet. The library. Find some classes offered to seniors...or mixed ages. Some supermarkets offer cooking classes .
We just have to look I guess. I have found I am getting to know my neighbors more, now that I have retired.
Click to expand...
Marie5656 said:
Hi, Edna. Welcome to this friendly place. I am slightly younger, 66 in a couple weeks. I retired in 2016, and was widowed last year. Yes, it can be harder, when you do not have workplace relationships. But, I think it just means we have to actively LOOK for ways to socialize.
I get together with a couple former co-workers for lunch a couple times a year. You could try a senior group, volunteering (if that suits you). Or just going to a place where like minded people meet. The library. Find some classes offered to seniors...or mixed ages. Some supermarkets offer cooking classes .
We just have to look I guess. I have found I am getting to know my neighbors more, now that I have retired.
Click to expand...
There is a senior center in my town. I've gone a few times. They play bridge, canasta and bingo. Guess i need to drop in again.
 
I have to force myself to get out and socialize. For me, it is just not worth the effort.

I always end up having a good time but it is painful and awkward for me to walk into a social gathering alone. I'm usually fine once I've run the gauntlet of introductions and been absorbed into the group.

MadMeatyBlackmamba-size_restricted.gif


When evening comes it's much easier and more enjoyable for me to sit in front of the television and relax in familiar surroundings.

Good luck to you, I hope that you find what you are looking for.
 
Edna 25 said:
I'm 68 soon to be 69 in two months. I find i don't care as much about others opinions of me as much, but i find i worry about my family and finances more. I've become more reclusive since retirement too which prob contributes to having more time to worry.
Twenty yrs ago i worked at a job and belonged to a Lodge for a few years. Do some of you have to force yourselves to be social other than shopping or seeing family.
Click to expand...
Welcome to the forum Edna..... I can easily see how a situation as you describe could happen. I'm usually a very social person, I'm a young minded 64, retired a couple of years ago, husband working full time, etc.. but for the last few months I've had a series of illnesses which have kept me from leaving the house for more than a couple of hours at a time, essential trips only .. and up to 2 or 3 weeks at a time indoors while I'm still waiting for surgery & hopefully recovery ... I was going a bit mad with cabin fever at first ( and to a certain extent still am) but lately, even when my husband has suggested we go somewhere I've found myself thinking (aside form the pain it might cause)... that really I'm quite comfortable staying here. I don't want to be bothered to get all dressed up, etc...

I'm sure when I'm well *touch wood*.. that I'll be back to my old self, I sincerely hope so anyway... but I can absolutely understand how easy it would be never to want to go out if you have everything you need at home to be comfortable..
 
I go when invited, don't accept all invitations though. When I do go, it's two hours and I'm done.
Conversations aren't as stimulating as they used to be either.

Would rather listen to how some guy got his fingers cut off than constant accounts of personality clashes at work, at home, or out in public.
 
Hello and welcome.. Apart from the monthly pay cheque, one of the things I miss about work is the chance to meet other people. Now that we live in a small village there is less chance to socialise, but we travel a lot more and this gives us the chance to meet and chat to a wide range of people. Even if I've only met them once, I've had some good conversations and the odd drink or two.

Hollydolly, sorry to hear you're still waiting. Hope you get everything sorted soon. I think I'd go even more mad than I already am if I didn't get out regularly.
 
Hi Edna and welcome from me too.

I am a bit lazy and don't go out much, I do meet
an ex-workmate every Friday normally, we have
coffee and put the World to rights, he often brings
his work problems to find out how I would treat it,
but I often think that my, (Scottish), methods would
not really work for him as he is a quiet Englishman
by comparrison, I very rarely go out in the evening
unless for a meal occasionally.

As for the financial side of life, if you don't go out
and spend, it soon accumulates.

In this area I have very few friends and my family
are all in Scotland, but we are OK with that.

Modern communications can save you lots of miles.

Mike.
 
Welcome Edna .. I understand your feelings on being social.

I enjoy going outside and talking with my neighbors everyday, and I do ... one on one. .. That I find to be a good feeling.
But I totally don't care for any large groups of people in any type of gathering. I'm just not comfortable in that type of environment anymore ... probably living/being alone does that to a person. :)
 
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bingo said:
although I am not an introvert...I spend most time with my husband and small family...
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Change two words, "husband to wife" and "small to large" family and that's my comfort zone. We're close to our kids and grandkids and have little need to socialize with strangers. If we had chosen to separate from our family, at a younger age, we'd most likely be forced into a different lifestyle.

Aside from illness and abject poverty, we all get to choose a path within our means. If we're lucky, that path can become a life long pleasant journey. If our path turns out to be rough and rocky, we may have to look back 30 or 40 years and wonder if our life today was a result of some of our own far distant decisions.
 
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Aunt Bea said:
I have to force myself to get out and socialize. For me, it is just not worth the effort.

I always end up having a good time but it is painful and awkward for me to walk into a social gathering alone. I'm usually fine once I've run the gauntlet of introductions and been absorbed into the group.

MadMeatyBlackmamba-size_restricted.gif


When evening comes it's much easier and more enjoyable for me to sit in front of the television and relax in familiar surroundings.

Good luck to you, I hope that you find what you are looking for.
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Thanks. I haven't
hollydolly said:
Welcome to the forum Edna..... I can easily see how a situation as you describe could happen. I'm usually a very social person, I'm a young minded 64, retired a couple of years ago, husband working full time, etc.. but for the last few months I've had a series of illnesses which have kept me from leaving the house for more than a couple of hours at a time, essential trips only .. and up to 2 or 3 weeks at a time indoors while I'm still waiting for surgery & hopefully recovery ... I was going a bit mad with cabin fever at first ( and to a certain extent still am) but lately, even when my husband has suggested we go somewhere I've found myself thinking (aside form the pain it might cause)... that really I'm quite comfortable staying here. I don't want to be bothered to get all dressed up, etc...

I'm sure when I'm well *touch wood*.. that I'll be back to my old self, I sincerely hope so anyway... but I can absolutely understand how easy it would be never to want to go out if you have everything you need at home to be comfortable..
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I hope you're feeling better soon.
 
We joined a bridge group about a year ago, because I wanted to get out more. Playing cards was secondary to the socializing, for me. At first, Dave wasn't thrilled. He has a pretty narrow comfort zone. He wanted to quit the second week. I told him I was OK with him quitting, but I was going anyway, with or without him. Turns out we both enjoy it. We've met new friends, some of whom we've gone on trips with. Thursday mornings are a treat now. Funny how a group of about 20 total strangers can become friends in a matter of weeks. It's been good for both of us, not that he'll admit it!
 
since I moved to the sticks --iam more alone except for hubby ' but that can come mundane'
before I moved I was never in really through the day - so this new me is hard to get used too...

holly I do hope all goes well with you soon - take care and soon get bck to the real you x
 
Way back in 2001, I became disabled. I couldn't work, thus I lost the place of most of my socialization. Most of your friends come from the workplace, And since I was disabled, I was mostly home bound. You don't find lots of friends, tucked in the back of your closet. I try to get out of the house, but frankly, if I didn't have to eat, I'm not sure when I would get out, except for Dr.s visits. It's a lot more comfry to watch TV, than get your butt up and out. You can't be friends with the people you haven't met.
 
Judycat said:
I go when invited, don't accept all invitations though. When I do go, it's two hours and I'm done.
Conversations aren't as stimulating as they used to be either.

Would rather listen to how some guy got his fingers cut off than constant accounts of personality clashes at work, at home, or out in public.
Click to expand...
Ruth n Jersey said:
Hello Edna and welcome from New Jersey. I'm 74 and never liked or could care less about socializing . I have my kids and Grandkids . The few good friends I had passed away.

I have hobbies to keep me busy all year long and socializing on this forum is enough for me.
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First, welcome!

We are sociable and don't mind getting around any size of crowd. However, it really depends on what interests they have and if any of their interests are the same as ours. It's sort of hard, for us, to talk to anyone that knows nothing about livestock, horses, dogs, farming, ranching, NFL, PGA and looks like they live in the middle of New York City. "Big City" type people, young or old, simply don't interest us at all. And, if they smoke, cuss and don't like humor (with some sarcasm added in) , we really stay away.

IOW, we are very sociable to the right folks. I'm a former farmer (hogs/crops) and have owned Quarter Horses before.
 

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