Is it harder to stay social when you're older?

It's not hard at all for me because I have no interest in being social. I prefer my quiet life, interacting with my husband, a couple of close friends, and family. I've never cared for a lot of social interaction so this time of life is no different.
 

Ruth n Jersey said:
Hello Edna and welcome from New Jersey. I'm 74 and never liked or could care less about socializing . I have my kids and Grandkids . The few good friends I had passed away.

I have hobbies to keep me busy all year long and socializing on this forum is enough for me.
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ClassicRockr said:
First, welcome!

We are sociable and don't mind getting around any size of crowd. However, it really depends on what interests they have and if any of their interests are the same as ours. It's sort of hard, for us, to talk to anyone that knows nothing about livestock, horses, dogs, farming, ranching, NFL, PGA and looks like they live in the middle of New York City. "Big City" type people, young or old, simply don't interest us at all. And, if they smoke, cuss and don't like humor (with some sarcasm added in) , we really stay away.

IOW, we are very sociable to the right folks. I'm a former farmer (hogs/crops) and have owned Quarter Horses before.
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My grandfather was a farmer. He grew wheat, raised cattle and always had a few horses that my sister and i used to ride.
 
Edna 25 said:
My grandfather was a farmer. He grew wheat, raised cattle and always had a few horses that my sister and i used to ride.
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Well, for awhile, I worked at a Livestock Auction west of Weatherford, Oklahoma. Have also been to OKC West Stockyards. I was in Enid during a really rough t-storm.
 

I just turned 69, am recently retired, and finding myself increasingly "social" for the first time in my adult life. All my working years were stressful and difficult enough that I didn't have the time nor energy to connect much with people except superficially. I'm finding now that I'm relaxed, patient, and truly interested in getting to know people, especially people that have been acquaintances for years. My friends tell me they notice a big change.

My big regret is that I waited so long to quit working.
 
Marie5656 said:
Hi, Edna. Welcome to this friendly place. I am slightly younger, 66 in a couple weeks. I retired in 2016, and was widowed last year. Yes, it can be harder, when you do not have workplace relationships. But, I think it just means we have to actively LOOK for ways to socialize.
I get together with a couple former co-workers for lunch a couple times a year. You could try a senior group, volunteering (if that suits you). Or just going to a place where like minded people meet. The library. Find some classes offered to seniors...or mixed ages. Some supermarkets offer cooking classes .
We just have to look I guess. I have found I am getting to know my neighbors more, now that I have retired.
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Sorry for the lost of your spouse.
 
Yosh said:
I just turned 69, am recently retired, and finding myself increasingly "social" for the first time in my adult life. All my working years were stressful and difficult enough that I didn't have the time nor energy to connect much with people except superficially. I'm finding now that I'm relaxed, patient, and truly interested in getting to know people, especially people that have been acquaintances for years. My friends tell me they notice a big change.

My big regret is that I waited so long to quit working.
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I love your post. I retired in my late 50's.. People felt I retired too young. I have no regrets at all. Like you. I feel a bit more relaxed. I have lunch/dinner with family and friends from time to time, I enjoy reading, enjoying interacting with the wonderful people on this forum, I have started writing a book which I put on pause (after the death of my sister) but I plan on working on it at some point. Due to my hubby work schedule we get to go the movie during weekdays vs weekends when it can be crowded. I am sooo glad to hear you are enjoying life.

I hear people say If I stop working I don't know what I would do... my sister made a comment, if I stop working I probably would die.. and she is 66 years old...YIKES!! Some people make work their life..which if they like it, I love it.. however don't look at others sideways or think they have done something wrong when they retire early. Retirement is a choice we make to fit our lifestyle, not anyone else lifestyle.
 
Welcome to the forum Edna. My mom was named Edna and that is also my granddaughter's first name.

I'm not overly sociable and I enjoy staying home most of the time. I have a lot of interests and I don't care to go out much. If my husband dies before me than I'm sure I will get lonely and want to socialize more. My husband is a people person and gets out around people a lot more than I do.
 
Edna 25 said:
I haven't got the hang of posting yet. But i'll work on it. ☺
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You are doing perfect, No worries...

I am just realizing in the last few months, and it took me 10+ years to realize it... But what I thought were friends, were really just work aquaintences... Except for maybe just one and two who still write and say Happy Birthday, but they too are probably just from work too... Now that I really look at it, I only really have two close friends... and one is a ex Brother in Law, but we consider each other as Brothers. And another who I met at work 27 years ago, but have since been in business together twice, and are there for one another when ever needed, and get together once a week for coffee...

Please Edna, enjoy your time here, People here are very loving and caring... and I am so proud that I belong to this forum...
 
The older I've gotten the more sociable I've become. But a lot of that had to do with living with my abusive ex for so many years. He wanted to keep me isolated from others, a common control tactic amongst abusive men.

After I left him my social life and circle increased more and more. I'm self employed, so I don't have work associates, per se. I have clients, some of whom I've had for so long we've become friends and socialize together from time to time, even though we move in very different circles otherwise. They're rich, I'm no lol! Still they're not snobs, so we get along fine.

I also have family friends, friends I've met through dance, people who I've become close to through other support groups I've attended, and I've formed close attachments to some of Ron's friends too, who have now become mine as well. My friendship circle just seems to keep increasing!
 
Today my youngest son told me on the phone, that if his dad dies I'll have to go live with he and his wife, otherwise I'd become a hermit. I told him there is nothing wrong with being a hermit and especially when you have family members to see from time to time.
 
Edna 25 said:
I'm 68 soon to be 69 in two months. I find i don't care as much about others opinions of me as much, but i find i worry about my family and finances more. I've become more reclusive since retirement too which prob contributes to having more time to worry.
Twenty yrs ago i worked at a job and belonged to a Lodge for a few years. Do some of you have to force yourselves to be social other than shopping or seeing family.
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I have to force myself to go shopping &/or visiting because I have become so reclusive that I am so very uncomfortable in public it's not funny. I find it difficult to make face to face small talk. Mostly because I hate small talk. I like discussions.
 
Edna 25 said:
I'm 68 soon to be 69 in two months. I find i don't care as much about others opinions of me as much, but i find i worry about my family and finances more. I've become more reclusive since retirement too which prob contributes to having more time to worry.
Twenty yrs ago i worked at a job and belonged to a Lodge for a few years. Do some of you have to force yourselves to be social other than shopping or seeing family.
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Yes and no. I've always been a homebody, same for dear husband, so socializing has never been high on our list, and as we get older and even more content enjoying the safety and comforts of our home, I'm even less interested in mingling with others, but for someone on their own who has always been a social-butterfly, I suspect little would change in the way of socializing, aside from possibly struggling with mobility/health issues/woes.
 
Mark Twain famously said: "The more I get to know people, the more I love my dog." That comment resonates when I think of some of the selfish and borish types that I have met in my lifetime.

Despite that my wife and I are a social couple, when promotion was offered in my working days, it meant a move some eighty miles away. We had a wonderful social circle where we lived at the time but my wife was keen to go.
After settling in we looked around for social activities and by chance came across a "1940's" event. That was for us.

Sitting at a table listening to a big band play Glenn Miller, a couple sat down with us, complimented us on our vintage attire and introduced themselves. We had a wonderful evening, come leaving time they gave us a venue with a function that we might be interested in. They were right, when we turned up there that same couple introduced us to about a dozen people and from that day on the social group kept expanding.

Covid put the brakes on all social activities and, lately, my wife's heart health meant no dancing. But we have slowly got back into the social scene. Today were are off to The Carrington Hotel in the town of Bournemouth, the function goes on all weekend but we were able to buy day tickets. Tonight's headline act is one of my lady's favourite singers. We won't be alone, so many text messages from friends in the social circle asking: "Are you going?" Two old geriatrics off to a Rock 'n' Roll gig, whatever next?
 
horseless carriage said:
Mark Twain famously said: "The more I get to know people, the more I love my dog." That comment resonates when I think of some of the selfish and borish types that I have met in my lifetime.

Despite that my wife and I are a social couple, when promotion was offered in my working days, it meant a move some eighty miles away. We had a wonderful social circle where we lived at the time but my wife was keen to go.
After settling in we looked around for social activities and by chance came across a "1940's" event. That was for us.

Sitting at a table listening to a big band play Glenn Miller, a couple sat down with us, complimented us on our vintage attire and introduced themselves. We had a wonderful evening, come leaving time they gave us a venue with a function that we might be interested in. They were right, when we turned up there that same couple introduced us to about a dozen people and from that day on the social group kept expanding.

Covid put the brakes on all social activities and, lately, my wife's heart health meant no dancing. But we have slowly got back into the social scene. Today were are off to The Carrington Hotel in the town of Bournemouth, the function goes on all weekend but we were able to buy day tickets. Tonight's headline act is one of my lady's favourite singers. We won't be alone, so many text messages from friends in the social circle asking: "Are you going?" Two old geriatrics off to a Rock 'n' Roll gig, whatever next?
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Just make sure you are home before the clock strikes @horseless carriage otherwise the neighbours will be talking - "gadding about at all hours at their age!" :ROFLMAO:

Have a great time tonight (y)

I am happy at home, I have a couple of hobbies and I like pottering about but I also like going out, meeting friends and socialising. I tend to be much more of a homebody in the winter months!

Is it harder to stay social? I do think it's harder to meet people when you are retired, especially meeting people who you share common interests with. Most of my friends are people I have known for many years - some since schooldays! :)
 
I think it was not until I retired that I realized I had no social circle. However, I'm happy and if I start to worry that I must get out and be social it's only because I think others are judging me. I do worry because it's the one thing not checked off from the healthy aging lists. Because of that I'm bring friendlier with my neighbors, people I meet here and there, and connecting with old friends on Facebook.
 
I was always social. People of all walks of life just fascinate me. However, at my advanced age, socializing with younger people is a necessity. Either most of my age group have passed on, or have some degree of dementia and on the cusp of Alzheimer's. The latter brings out the nurse in me and that's not what I am looking for.

Luckily, through my son, I have many good friends in their 40s and 50s. They do not hesitate to invite me to many of their get-togethers and we manage to have a great time.

I also get along fine with our high schoolers. The kids in my town are curious about my youth, and so are their parents.

So, yes, I am social.
 

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