Is retirement causing me to lose my social "filter"?

I am actually more mellow these days. I try a bit harder to understand the why of things and it helps. I think that we have spent the last fifteen years in a needless uproar…and peace and human kindness are much needed. I will take the occasional baited hook…but do better if I think about my responses.
 

I think it all depends on how willing you are to listen to someone who has a different viewpoint. My spouse comes from a patriarchal immigrant family and he behaves socially polite while thinking that the other person is stupid for not thinking the way he does. Empathy is not his strong point, simply put.

OTOH, I am often socially tactless but was raised to be sympathetic to others, in the context that my upbringing/environment gave me advantages many people never had the good fortune to experience.

Generally speaking, no one is ever 100% right or 100% wrong in their opinions. And that includes the person who looks back at you in the mirror, LOL.
 
We rarely speak with anyone aside from our kids and grandkids. They all live around us and make up our social circle. We've had a few friends but as we approach 90 they are mostly gone or unable to get out and about.
Thankfully we do have the kids and have maintained a mutually happy relationship with them and they with each other.
Works for us but everyone and every family tends to develop (or not) different relationships.
 
Seems that many of us started out one way and then went in the other direction.

I'm Canadian and am relatively polite. I had a boyfriend in West Virginia. He liked to challenge people, make sour comments, or at least give them a sour look.
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I told him I didn't want anything to do with certain people. He got us into a situation where I had to spend several hours with them.

Later, I asked him why he'd left me alone at the event. He said he thought I'd enjoy it. I reminded him about what I'd said. He said, "But you're always polite around them." I said, "Of course I'm polite around them!"
 
EmptyCup said:
I am at the same place. I don’t engage. Of course, that does make some people really mad, including relatives! I don’t want to hear any more pitches to join someone’s bandwagon or parade. I am a gang of one!
Ps. If anyone knows how to keep white flys off of tomato plants, I am all ears. I have never been able to solve it.
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Regarding white flies, try NATURAL PYRETHRIN. It oxidizes and breaks down in one day so you can eat your tomatoes soon after application. Do not use SYNTHETIC PYRETHIN.
EmptyCup said:
I am at the same place. I don’t engage. Of course, that does make some people really mad, including relatives! I don’t want to hear any more pitches to join someone’s bandwagon or parade. I am a gang of one!
Ps. If anyone knows how to keep white flys off of tomato plants, I am all ears. I have never been able to solve it.
Click to expand...
Regarding white flies: try NATURAL PYRETHIN, not synthetic pyrethin. Natural pyrethin comes from chrysanthemum flowers and breaks down in a day or two, so you can harvest your tomatoes soon after application. Good luck.
 
Marian said:
I don’t like to get into debates anymore or express an opinion that may be different from the majority, although I have done it here and I really regret it.
In the past I loved a good debate and often found that I learned from it. These days there really is no debate and I don’t learn anything from the other side. There is so much friction between people and their opinions and rarely is any explanation or proof presented that might help me to learn something or change my mind.
All it does is cause me anxiety, exhaust me and make me dislike people. I dislike many people these days and find it very sad.
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I totally agree with you Marian. For reasons that you mentioned, I avoid almost all large social events. If I have to choose been attending a large social event or eating a bag of sawdust....the sawdust wins every time!
 
I always liked, admired and respected people who spoke up about what they feel is right. At the same time, I always hated the mindless zombies who just repeated the stupid "politically correct" lines.
 
If I want to piss someone off, I have another 3 message boards where I can do that. Well truthfully only 2, the 3rd board usually totally agrees with me.
 
We shouldn't act as though we agree with things we don't, especially at our ages! While I believe disagreements should be handled in a tactful manner, sometimes the other party causes otherwise to happen. If you are stating your case tactfully and respectfully, there is nothing wrong with disagreeing.

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CallMeKate said:
🙀 Oh my! I haven't had anyone tattle on me since elementary school. Forgive me that I giggled a little bit (thinking of tattlers being here at some point)... it's a senior forum for cryin' in a bucket. But I'm sorry that happened to you, @hollydolly .
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Hahaha - - -Haven't heard anyone, on here or anywhere else for that matter, use the term "tattle". As a child it was common but it's been many years since I've heard it spoken or seen it written.

You made my day ! :D
 
Youngster said:
My social filter is growing thin. I find myself speaking up more against things I don't agree with even if it's not politically correct. I'm no longer shaking my head in agreement with things I don't believe just to get along with those who have a different point of view than I do.

I'm fast getting to the point where I don't give a shit if what I have to say doesn't set well with the people I happen to be around at the time.

I'm wondering if this is because I'm now retired and don't feel like have to "tow the line" so to speak like I did at the job I held for so many years. Or is it just because I'm getting older and figure I can get away with it.

What are your feelings on this subject?
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This is a good thing! Be who you are without social filters. Those filters just cause guilt.
 
Youngster said:
My social filter is growing thin. I find myself speaking up more against things I don't agree with even if it's not politically correct. I'm no longer shaking my head in agreement with things I don't believe just to get along with those who have a different point of view than I do.

I'm fast getting to the point where I don't give a shit if what I have to say doesn't set well with the people I happen to be around at the time.

I'm wondering if this is because I'm now retired and don't feel like have to "tow the line" so to speak like I did at the job I held for so many years. Or is it just because I'm getting older and figure I can get away with it.

What are your feelings on this subject?
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I have always been that way, I speak my truth and don't go along with the crowd. I make my own rules. :) But I am more blunt now so I have to consider my words sometimes as not to be too direct. But I really prefer people who are open and straightforward, who say what they mean. I don't enjoy small talk.
 


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