Is your spouse showing signs...

Nathan said:
It's hard to judge what's going on, is it 'normal' decline of cognitive function, or something to worry about?

I have to leave now, but when I come back I'd like to clarify my concerns.
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I'm anxious to see what your next post will be. I'm not sure what your concerned about but I wondered the same thing about my late husband. For about 6 months or so before he died, I noticed he was a little more forgetful and sometimes I'd get irritated when I'd have to repeat something I'd already told him. Then, he'd look at me with sort of a blank look and I felt a chill and had a suspicion something wasn't "normal". Granted, he was 82 when he passed but he was never "old", if you know what I mean.

After he passed, I found out that his heart was giving out and his brain wasn't getting oxygen like it should. I thought he was getting dementia, like his mother had.

Whatever your concerns are, I hope it isn't anything serious but if it's getting more worrisome, then a doctor might be your best answer.
 
My heart goes out to all dealing with this.

An 80-year-old female friend is dealing with this with her 99-year-old mother. There is plenty of $$ for the mother to be in a beautiful, well-run Assisted Living facility (which is so nice I wouldn't mind living there myself) but the mother is being awful about it, says she hates the place. She couldn't stay by herself in her small home because she refused to use her walker or wear her life-alert button so spent one whole night lying in the floor where she had fallen.

And there's not room for family to move in with her and take care of her. They tried hiring help to come in each day but the mother hated that too. My poor friend is exhausted, like she said, she feels so old and tired herself and now having to deal with this. Oh, and there's one other sibling who's not helping at all.

I went through similar with the 5 (2 biologicals & 3 steps) elderly parents that I was mostly the main caregiver for over a 10 year period with very little help other than my huzz and it's so hard. And it seems like you see this over and over: one person gets stuck with this with little to no help.
 
My wife ( age 80 ) and myself (age 77 ) help each other by writing things down on a couple of white boards that are attached to the side of the kitchen fridge, such as DR appointments, food to buy at the supermarket, and future family outings. We both keep a pill management box that is divided by the 7 days of the week. My Wife was a manager in the University world for more than 40 years, so now she is retired she "Manages Me " in terms of my medical care and recording my medical ups and downs. She is my official and recognized "Care Manager " at all the hospitals that we are patients of. We both still drive, so the car maintenance program is plotted in the home computer, as are the monthly bill payments.

I remember the important stuff, she remembers the rest, so we have it covered most of the time. Smile. Jimb.
 
My wife is becoming increasingly forgetful, and it seems her "processing" ability is decreasing. She writes the checks to pay the bills, is getting more confused, to the point where I feel we might be better off getting them done with autopay. She hears voices at night, that she says is within the bedroom. Perhaps the air purifer's sound is playing tricks on her brain...
 
I don't have a spouse but the first signs that we all had that something was wrong with my dad was when he started to have problems finishing speaking. He was always forgetful so we didn't pay much attention to that. But he started to speak and then had problems remembering what he was trying to say. He also had aphasia developing so that may have had something to do with it too. Either way, if you are concerned you should consider taking her to see her primary.


If she is getting easily confuses and still drives then you might want to consider putting a stop to that though. Not an easy thing to consider but even if her confusion is a natural process of aging and has nothing to do with dementia it is probably best to consider that.
 
Nathan said:
My wife is becoming increasingly forgetful, and it seems her "processing" ability is decreasing. She writes the checks to pay the bills, is getting more confused, to the point where I feel we might be better off getting them done with autopay. She hears voices at night, that she says is within the bedroom. Perhaps the air purifer's sound is playing tricks on her brain...
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That is very worrisome for you both.
You will love autopay! It's free and no worries. The only things I have to write checks for are taxes.
 
LoveTulips said:
Perhaps have a chat about your wife with your doctor? Hope it's just forgetfulness and not anything more serious.
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My wife hates going to the doctor, but she's promised to make an appointment to see what needs to be done for her chronically sore right knee.
She has never been to see her current primary care physician, I hope that she or he will give her an overall evaluation. Actually, I pretty sure she will get evaluated, my doctor's visit notes always show that he has given attention to my cognitive level during my visits.
 
Nathan said:
My wife hates going to the doctor, but she's promised to make an appointment to see what needs to be done for her chronically sore right knee.
She has never been to see her current primary care physician, I hope that she or he will give her an overall evaluation. Actually, I pretty sure she will get evaluated, my doctor's visit notes always show that he has given attention to my cognitive level during my visits.
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There's a really simple test they can use to assess for cognitive impairment. It's basically a game, kind of a puzzle or brain-teaser type of test.
 
Nathan said:
My wife hates going to the doctor, but she's promised to make an appointment to see what needs to be done for her chronically sore right knee.
She has never been to see her current primary care physician, I hope that she or he will give her an overall evaluation. Actually, I pretty sure she will get evaluated, my doctor's visit notes always show that he has given attention to my cognitive level during my visits.
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Although this is totally different from your wife's symptoms....my best friend had swollen ankles and she hated going to doctors. Her boyfriend came home one day and saw her asleep in the recliner. She had had a heart attack. Apparently, if she had visited her doctor, this could have been prevented. She was 61 years old.
 
Nathan said:
My wife is becoming increasingly forgetful, and it seems her "processing" ability is decreasing. She writes the checks to pay the bills, is getting more confused, to the point where I feel we might be better off getting them done with autopay. She hears voices at night, that she says is within the bedroom. Perhaps the air purifer's sound is playing tricks on her brain...
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I think our memory and abilities decline with age. I still write checks to pay some of our bills, and if I started to make mistakes or forget to mail them, I would hope I could see the problem myself and go with auto-pay. If I wasn't seeing an issue, it would be troublesome, and I'm sure my husband would take over or set up auto-pays where needed.

I don't know about the voices. Does she connect them with someone she knows or knew in the past, or are they random voices of strangers? Are they causing her to be fearful and afraid to sleep, or is she okay with them? Noises can play tricks with all of us, especially in the middle of the night when we are half asleep and everyone else is sound asleep.

I'm glad you're caring enough to post about this. I hope it's not too serious and maybe she's just distracted with other things to do, or maybe tired from not enough sleep. If she's using prescription sleep aids, those may have an effect of how she acts when awake during the day.

I know you're a good and caring person, and I really hope this is just run of the mill forgetfulness and imagination. I know Alzheimer's is a real concern. My mother's sister, many years ago, passed with it. Very sad.

Is your wife aware when she makes mistakes, is she concerned? You're in my thoughts, hope she's okay......hugs.
 
SeaBreeze said:
I think our memory and abilities decline with age. I still write checks to pay some of our bills, and if I started to make mistakes or forget to mail them, I would hope I could see the problem myself and go with auto-pay. If I wasn't seeing an issue, it would be troublesome, and I'm sure my husband would take over or set up auto-pays where needed.

I don't know about the voices. Does she connect them with someone she knows or knew in the past, or are they random voices of strangers? Are they causing her to be fearful and afraid to sleep, or is she okay with them? Noises can play tricks with all of us, especially in the middle of the night when we are half asleep and everyone else is sound asleep.

I'm glad you're caring enough to post about this. I hope it's not too serious and maybe she's just distracted with other things to do, or maybe tired from not enough sleep. If she's using prescription sleep aids, those may have an effect of how she acts when awake during the day.

I know you're a good and caring person, and I really hope this is just run of the mill forgetfulness and imagination. I know Alzheimer's is a real concern. My mother's sister, many years ago, passed with it. Very sad.

Is your wife aware when she makes mistakes, is she concerned? You're in my thoughts, hope she's okay......hugs.
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She doesn't seem disturbed by the voices, they are apparently just random voices of strangers, the exact words are unintelligible. She doesn't use any sleep meds, has trouble getting asleep, then staying asleep( don't we all?).

I don't know, sometimes her condition seems problematic, other times quite normal...maybe I'm the one who's circling the drain! shrug.gif
 
Nathan said:
I don't know, sometimes her condition seems problematic, other times quite normal...maybe I'm the one who's circling the drain! View attachment 352139
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I hope it falls on the "normal" side in her case, @Nathan . I don't know... but just reading what you've written, I see myself in some of it and never once thought there was anything "wrong" with me... just distraction and/or being over 50... I really hope it's the same for her.

Certain appliances and things that are always running in the house sound like a voice once in a while... to the point where I've even said "what?" aloud a few times, but no one had spoken. There's a particular factory half a block from me that puts out a "humming" from one of their machines that sounds like someone mumbling at times. I've written dates on checks as "1980" or "2007" within the past year, but realized I'd been reminiscing or looking at old pictures previously and those dates were on my mind. I've trained myself to double-check things I've written on a check before sealing it up.

Anyhow, I hope you'll keep us posted on how it's going for her. Maybe you can find an article (preferably from a trusted med source like Mayo, MedlinePlus (government health site), Johns Hopkins, etc. that would spell out which issues are normal with aging and which may be problematic?
 
Nathan said:
She doesn't seem disturbed by the voices, they are apparently just random voices of strangers, the exact words are unintelligible. She doesn't use any sleep meds, has trouble getting asleep, then staying asleep( don't we all?).

I don't know, sometimes her condition seems problematic, other times quite normal...maybe I'm the one who's circling the drain! View attachment 352139
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That's very good that she's not disturbed or afraid of the voices. I keep a tiny analog radio under my pillow at night, if I can't get back to sleep I usually put that on low volume not to disturb my husband. Regardless of what I'm listening to, it usually lulls me back to sleep just from boredom, lol.

I was listening to something this morning about dehydration and it's effect on our thinking clarity, energy and even speech like slurring. Some have been hospitalized for what they thought was a stroke, but it was serious dehydration. They said plain water was not enough, we needed electrolytes to support our brain and body, they mentioned that magnesium and potassium are very important, I take both but not every day. I also drink coconut water at times, thinking it was better for hydration than water.

There are also some memory supplements on the market, but they are pricey. I've tried a couple myself, going to try something new soon. No remarkable difference, but I feel just taking something must make me more conscious of things I need to do or remember. My memory was never great, even when younger. Does she acknowledge she's having memory problems, or is she denying there's an issue?
 
@SeaBreeze , she doesn't deny the cognitive issues, and I hope she'll speak to her doctor about it, when we get her appointment made.

Alice self describes as having "white coat" syndrome, her heart rate and blood pressure go up during medical visits. As such, she never makes any routine medical appointments, she just has annual check-ups with her oncologist, as she's had 3 major cancers.
 
I am so very sorry for you and Alice. As a person who sometimes has problems with memory and such I can safely say sometimes it can be situational. There was a great small study done where they took a group of people with supposed early dementia and treated them with increased exercize and sleep, minimized stressors and improved nutrition. All improved. They also did blood work to determine vitamin and mineral deficiencies and treated those as needed. So perhaps you could try to incorporate some of those lifestyle changes. Might help…can not hurt.
 
My wife (76) has beginning stages of dementia, and she knows it. We are not yet certain of the type, but it may well be vascular as that is what her mom had.

A couple years ago I noticed some forgetfulness and repetition of questions, all of which gradually worsened over time. The first big event (to her) was that she could not reconcile her own bank statement. This was her mother's first serious sign as well.

Last September it was time to renew her Texas driver's license, but she opted to get the Texas ID card versus renewal of the TDL. In her words, "I can drive, but my decision making has slowed down". I do respect her for that major decision.

Her GP gave her the dementia screening test and she easily passed it. But we both know that was not a sufficient test and she will need to go back for more in-depth testing.

Having helped for four years as a caregiver for her mother, and dealing with my own mother (Alzheimer's), I'm pretty much aware of what to do, not to do, and what to watch out for.

She insists on keeping her situation a secret for now. And frankly, if you met her and talked for an hour or so you would have no clue she has any problems. But if you were with her for a longer time, you would notice it.

Her daughter (46) does not know, and my wife wants to keep that from her as long as possible. Why? Well, daughter is extremely self-absorbed and rarely shows any empathy or sympathy for others. Telling her and getting no "normal" response would be devastating.

It's pretty sad and makes me angry as my Wife dedicated her life to her ungrateful kid and has never gotten anything in return. And like many moms, my Wife continuously demonstrates unconditional love to her non deserving daughter.

I have no clue where all this is headed but will keep you all informed (its good therapy for me) as needed.

Thank you for listening.....
 
Mobilman44 said:
My wife (76) has beginning stages of dementia, and she knows it. We are not yet certain of the type, but it may well be vascular as that is what her mom had.

A couple years ago I noticed some forgetfulness and repetition of questions, all of which gradually worsened over time. The first big event (to her) was that she could not reconcile her own bank statement. This was her mother's first serious sign as well.

Last September it was time to renew her Texas driver's license, but she opted to get the Texas ID card versus renewal of the TDL. In her words, "I can drive, but my decision making has slowed down". I do respect her for that major decision.

Her GP gave her the dementia screening test and she easily passed it. But we both know that was not a sufficient test and she will need to go back for more in-depth testing.

Having helped for four years as a caregiver for her mother, and dealing with my own mother (Alzheimer's), I'm pretty much aware of what to do, not to do, and what to watch out for.

She insists on keeping her situation a secret for now. And frankly, if you met her and talked for an hour or so you would have no clue she has any problems. But if you were with her for a longer time, you would notice it.

Her daughter (46) does not know, and my wife wants to keep that from her as long as possible. Why? Well, daughter is extremely self-absorbed and rarely shows any empathy or sympathy for others. Telling her and getting no "normal" response would be devastating.

It's pretty sad and makes me angry as my Wife dedicated her life to her ungrateful kid and has never gotten anything in return. And like many moms, my Wife continuously demonstrates unconditional love to her non deserving daughter.

I have no clue where all this is headed but will keep you all informed (its good therapy for me) as needed.

Thank you for listening.....
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I was born and bred into cold winters and know perfectly well what to do when the temperature drops drastically. Last winter during a long span of unusually cold weather it never occurred to me to run water or take my ordinary precautions against freezing and bursting pipes. A lesson, probably not learned, at great misery and expense!
 

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