I have never been jealous, but I have been smart enough to know that my Mom favored her first born. Not an issue for me as a child. When we were grown up, married and had children, that is where the problem started.
Our sons were born 5 weeks apart so there was no opportunity to bond more with one than the other. It was clear to me that my sister's son was going to be favored from the get go.
Over time there were hard feelings at the way the boys were treated different. Obvious to anyone at any function, even if it was my son's event, my Mom tried to make it about the nephew.
I finally had enough and threw a hissy fit, loud and long, at Mom. She did it to me but she was not going to do it to my son. She pled ignorance to the whole thing but the family knew I was right.
I did not get over it, never will, fine to treat me bad but heartbreaking that my Mom could do it to my son and my sister let her get away with it when she knew what was happening.
My Mom has died a few years ago, my husband about ten years before that. You would think I could let it go but I can't. It was the most hurtful thing, I don't know if my son saw/understood what was happening, but I am sure he did.
It is a horrible thing that I will go to the grave knowing that my own Mother saw me less than my sister.
That she thought it okay to put my sister's son over mine, that she could do that to a child for no reason but she did.
My son is married, has his own home, raising a stepson from infancy. Bachelors degree, University of Texas Denton. A/P started at grade 3, IB classes in high school. Completed six years of Mexican as a second language. My husband diagnosed with terminal cancer the beginning of his junior year. We were not able to be as involved as we like due to medical treatment and travel for clinical trials but that kid just kept going full force.
My Mom was here through this all. She saw how hard it was, how we struggled but her first thoughts went always to my sister and her family. They were dealing with nothing, no problems. My sister and I no longer speak.
It has been a little more than 4 years. My husband dead, my Mom dead but she can't handle my health issues, it is just too much stress on her. She has no idea what stress is. Our Mom came to live with me when she got sick. I was 24/7 for about 18 months full time care.
I had to have a hip replacement. No, she did not call, no she did not help in any way, WTF???
I still struggle, I still cry, what did I do but try to take care of everyone. Am I just the one everyone dumps on because I always step up to help. Do you ever feel like nothing, nothing at all when you put your whole heart into it?
Our sons were born 5 weeks apart so there was no opportunity to bond more with one than the other. It was clear to me that my sister's son was going to be favored from the get go.
Over time there were hard feelings at the way the boys were treated different. Obvious to anyone at any function, even if it was my son's event, my Mom tried to make it about the nephew.
I finally had enough and threw a hissy fit, loud and long, at Mom. She did it to me but she was not going to do it to my son. She pled ignorance to the whole thing but the family knew I was right.
I did not get over it, never will, fine to treat me bad but heartbreaking that my Mom could do it to my son and my sister let her get away with it when she knew what was happening.
My Mom has died a few years ago, my husband about ten years before that. You would think I could let it go but I can't. It was the most hurtful thing, I don't know if my son saw/understood what was happening, but I am sure he did.
It is a horrible thing that I will go to the grave knowing that my own Mother saw me less than my sister.
That she thought it okay to put my sister's son over mine, that she could do that to a child for no reason but she did.
My son is married, has his own home, raising a stepson from infancy. Bachelors degree, University of Texas Denton. A/P started at grade 3, IB classes in high school. Completed six years of Mexican as a second language. My husband diagnosed with terminal cancer the beginning of his junior year. We were not able to be as involved as we like due to medical treatment and travel for clinical trials but that kid just kept going full force.
My Mom was here through this all. She saw how hard it was, how we struggled but her first thoughts went always to my sister and her family. They were dealing with nothing, no problems. My sister and I no longer speak.
It has been a little more than 4 years. My husband dead, my Mom dead but she can't handle my health issues, it is just too much stress on her. She has no idea what stress is. Our Mom came to live with me when she got sick. I was 24/7 for about 18 months full time care.
I had to have a hip replacement. No, she did not call, no she did not help in any way, WTF???
I still struggle, I still cry, what did I do but try to take care of everyone. Am I just the one everyone dumps on because I always step up to help. Do you ever feel like nothing, nothing at all when you put your whole heart into it?
As an adult, thinking over her negative verbal remarks to me over the years, (when no one was around to hear her!) I figured that she must have resented me from the time I was born. (there was a time that whenever I received a letter from her an awful feeling would come over me.) 