Oh the wild Scottish Haggi herds live only on the Isle Of Skye these days, and even then are impossibly shy creatures.You would never catch one, to clean it's hooves.You could possibly use Marmite to polish your dirk though?Or clean your bagpipes?
I prefer haddock to cod too [being originally from Yorkshire] where you just say 'fish and chips please' as there isn't a choice there.Some people prefer to omit the 'please'.
A Yorkshire joke; a man's wife dies, and later he goes to the stonemason to tell him what he wants carved on the gravestone.Lots of carved flowers please, as she liked flowers, and the inscription 'Lord she was thine'. The stonemason says 'right, come back in a week'. A week later he goes back and looks at the gravestone, the flowers are lovely, but the inscription reads 'Lord she was thin' ; outraged, the man gestures at it and says 'Look at it man, youv'e left out the e !' 'Oh, sorry' says the stone mason 'I'll fettle it' [means he will fix it] 'come back tomorrow'. The man returns the next day and the stonemason proudly shows him the stone, which now reads ' Eee Lord she was thin.'
