Job is making me sick, but I can't retire yet

Xanthe said:
I'm months away from retirement and receiving Social Security benefits, but my job (low-level management) has become a nightmare. Two people recently quit, and now the workload is over the top and the company has a hiring freeze. I'm the kind of person who can handle tight deadlines and large workloads, but it has gotten out of hand. I regularly get emails from my boss telling me that this [huge project] needs to be done NOW! Yes, he uses all-caps. He even tells me I can't leave my desk until it's done, so I eat lunch while I work 8 straight hours and only leave the desk for very fast bathroom breaks.

The stress is making me sick. There's no one above that I can report him to and quitting is not an option for financial reasons. I can retire in about 8 months, but each day is torture and I don't know how I can make it that far, mentally and physically. I don't even enjoy weekends anymore because I'm so stressed about Mondays.

I'm just venting, but if anyone has been in a similar situation, I'd love to know how they handled it. Or just get some sympathy and support. Thanks.
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That sounds awful. You are allowed to come here everyday and vent away. For eight months. We can all count together and get you there. As a bonus, and as we get to know your company we'll make crude jokes about it and your worst coworkers.
And it eight months we'll celebrate your retirement!
Seriously, I hope you can find a way to cope and get through it. Eight months is four months less than a year!
 

Xanthe said:
I know for sure they do not want me to quit, and when I do retire, I'm pretty sure he'll ask me to do some freelancing for the company. I work at least twice as efficiently as other people and my boss knows it, praises me on a regular basis, and gives me great reviews. Plus, there's a hiring freeze and they'd have a real problem if I quit. He's about 20 years younger, and a type-A workaholic who he expects everyone else to be the same. I've proven that I can get a lot of work done in a short amount of time, so he keeps expecting more and more.
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Im old and retired but I have BTDT in the past. What I learned is that this is partly our own fault. We are good at our jobs and we pride ourselves on getting the job done. I learned to stepback and pace myself. Tell the boss we have XYZ that needs done. What order do you want them done. Never refuse. If he says Z needs done NOW. Say does this take presence over Y. Do everything over email so you have a trail.

If they wont fire you because they need you then youre self stressing. Maybe the job needs to not get done. What I also learned is if the job gets done then than means you can do it even if you said you cant. Listening to you complain is a small price to pay. The powers that be will never take action as long as theyre getting results. Take a breath and slow down to a reasonable pace. Dont announce any of this. Just do it.
 
Inept said:
An interesting dilemma. Yes, I did have a similar experience long, long ago. I was working 24 hour shifts. It wasn’t that my boss was a tyrant but the job was highly stressful during the ”season" (June, July, and August). I was lucky in the sense that the job was monotonous. I just had to pay attention to what I was doing and not to deviate. I simplified my duties without saying anything to any one. That is to say that I improved performance of the job itself. But I didn’t tell anyone. As far as anyone else knew I was doing just like everyone who had the job previously.

I find that most leadership have limited brains and if your boss is giving you notes “NOW” in all capital letters I can assume that he/she isn’t interested in any improvement and would (most likely) be hostile towards you for making any changes, considering it a personal insult to his/her authority. So, do not try to impress your boss with your superior methods. You may think he/she will appreciate you but ….. forget it! You’d be just asking for trouble. My method is to think in reverse: The result the boss is looking for, yes .... but cut out the middle steps if they only serve to confuse, frustrate, and disrupt fluid productivity. Just don’t tell anyone.

In addition to that you can put your body and mind on different levels. Let your body do the job but allow your mind to think about your family, your free time, your up-coming vacation or even your retirement. Think about your childhood, the good, the bad, and the funny. Sing or hum to yourself either openly of silently. I am guessing your boss wouldn’t appreciate you doing it audibly. Let him/her think you have nothing on your mind but pleasing him/her.

Does my method apply to your situation? Let’s discuss it. :)
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Thank you for the very thoughtful reply. A lot of it doesn't apply to my particular situation, but I love the last paragraph. Some of my projects can be done mindlessly, so I'll bring my headphones and listen to music. Maybe that will help me get through the day. :)
 
Georgiagranny said:
I don't know how your sick leave/disability works, but it's likely that you'd be required to use all your sick leave before short- or long-term disability would kick in. If you've a lot of sick leave, I'd say "I'm not feeling very well and need to go home (or stay home). Unless, of course, you get paid for unused sick leave when you resign.

Hm. This would be a hard one to decide. Good luck☘️
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I wish I could get paid for unused sick time because I have 100+ hours! But that's not the case at my job.
 
UpstateGal said:
Well after reading your comments about doing freelance work for this boss when you officially retire, I have to say, your situation really isn't that bad. Maybe there are other factors in your life causing you stress? Right now, I'm not near full retirement age and I'm unemployed. I was laid off from my job due to inflation, I have struggled to find another job that I can do. Not to divulge all my personal issues, but I would gladly trade places with you in a NY minute. It's better to be overworked and have job security than to constantly worry about ever being employable again in your 60s. Try to stay positive in your situation, it really isn't that bad.
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Yes, you're absolutely right. I need to keep that in mind.
 
Xanthe said:
I wish I could get paid for unused sick time because I have 100+ hours! But that's not the case at my job.
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You need to take some sick time. If nothing else it force their hands to take some action and hire some more people.
If you do take sick time never take just one day. Take 4-5 days and include the weekend so they cant call you on the weekend.
If you only take one day they wont believe youre sick. Also they will just keep your work. If you take a week they will have to deal with it on their own.
 
Rich said:
You may want to convey to him that your retirement is imminent, scheduled for just eight months from NOW. This period would be an opportune time to onboard a new employee, ensuring they have ample time to learn the role before your departure.

I encountered a remarkably similar scenario. In my zone, we initially had four managers. However, the newly appointed company president determined that only two were necessary. While I retained my position, my territory expanded significantly, doubling in size, and my number of reports more than doubled, all without any increase in pay. I endeavored to manage the workload to the best of my ability, but it soon began to affect me both mentally and physically.
After a year, my fellow manager and I scheduled a call with our Zone VP, expressing that our situation had become untenable. It wasn’t that I was unwilling to perform my duties; it was simply an impossible task. We subtly hinted that without additional support, the company would soon require two new managers. Thankfully, our supervisor succeeded in persuading the president to hire more staff.

Best of luck to you.
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Very similar. I've been thinking about telling him I'm considering retiring, but I'm a bit afraid to do that. I don't know why, I just am.

When I've talked to him about the workload, I get backhanded praise. For example, he gives me a project that should take 4 hours to be done right, but he says he wants it in 2 hours. When I tell him I can't do it that fast, he will tell me I'm underestimating myself and that he has confidence in me. I've told him that mistakes are more likely to happen if I'm working at breakneck speed. He seems to understand, but when mistakes do happen because I'm rushing, he gets upset.

Of course, I've done this to myself over the years, creating a slippery slope by being the fastest in the office. So whenever there's a NOW NOW NOW job, it goes to me. I'm so exhausted. But I think I'll talk to him; I just need to figure out the best approach.
 
Veronica said:
You need to take some sick time. If nothing else it force their hands to take some action and hire some more people.
If you do take sick time never take just one day. Take 4-5 days and include the weekend so they cant call you on the weekend.
If you only take one day they wont believe youre sick. Also they will just keep your work. If you take a week they will have to deal with it on their own.
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I've taken week-long vacations and when I come back, my jobs are piled up and waiting for me because there was no one else to do them.
 
If you want sympathy you have mine. You are also getting a lot of support and good advice. Isn't it amazing how the best workers have the biggest burdens? You should be proud. You are needed because you are the best.
 
The job I left in December got to be over the top stress, for two years ,so I gave notice in October. I did end up in the hospital with a colon bleed in January. Never got a precise answer on how it happened but I expect stress was a contributing factor.

Was not a convenient time to retire, but with minimum wage jobs plus social security I'll be ok. Still looking for a higher pay technology job, but either way I'll be ok.

So glad to be gone from that cesspool.
 
Xanthe said:
Very similar. I've been thinking about telling him I'm considering retiring, but I'm a bit afraid to do that. I don't know why, I just am.

When I've talked to him about the workload, I get backhanded praise. For example, he gives me a project that should take 4 hours to be done right, but he says he wants it in 2 hours. When I tell him I can't do it that fast, he will tell me I'm underestimating myself and that he has confidence in me. I've told him that mistakes are more likely to happen if I'm working at breakneck speed. He seems to understand, but when mistakes do happen because I'm rushing, he gets upset.

Of course, I've done this to myself over the years, creating a slippery slope by being the fastest in the office. So whenever there's a NOW NOW NOW job, it goes to me. I'm so exhausted. But I think I'll talk to him; I just need to figure out the best approach.
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I was a bit apprehensive about telling my boss I was retiring, so I understand.
Also, I had to be careful with work assignments since it was easy to always give the toughest tasks to the best and brightest. It makes hitting deadlines with good product easier but it increases the learning curve for newer employees and it eventually start to burn out the better ones.
 
Xanthe said:
When I've talked to him about the workload, I get backhanded praise. For example, he gives me a project that should take 4 hours to be done right, but he says he wants it in 2 hours. When I tell him I can't do it that fast, he will tell me I'm underestimating myself and that he has confidence in me. I've told him that mistakes are more likely to happen if I'm working at breakneck speed. He seems to understand, but when mistakes do happen because I'm rushing, he gets upset.

Of course, I've done this to myself over the years, creating a slippery slope by being the fastest in the office. So whenever there's a NOW NOW NOW job, it goes to me. I'm so exhausted. But I think I'll talk to him; I just need to figure out the best approach.
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Veronica said:
If they wont fire you because they need you then youre self stressing. Maybe the job needs to not get done. What I also learned is if the job gets done then than means you can do it even if you said you cant. Listening to you complain is a small price to pay. The powers that be will never take action as long as theyre getting results. Take a breath and slow down to a reasonable pace. Dont announce any of this. Just do it.
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Xanthe said:
I've taken week-long vacations and when I come back, my jobs are piled up and waiting for me because there was no one else to do them.
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Its a matter of pride. Not doing our best goes against our grain. Not completing a task isnt on our radar. BTDT.
You need to let that go. Its hard. I know. BTW I was good at my job too. They replaced me with three people when I retired. And I wasnt even working at full speed. :D

Stop telling him that you cant do it. Thank you for having confidence in me Ill do the best I can. Slow down to a reasonable pace. Working in a tizzy means making errors which wastes time. Complete what you can within a reasonable time frame. And then go home. They wont fire you. Give them lip service like they do you. I know theres a problem. What solutions do you have. He gave it to you. Give it back. :D

When you retire theyre going to have to solve this issue. Or are you going to come back on contract and work yourself into an attack.
 
Inept said:
Are you allowed to?
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Yes, I have a lot of privacy at my job. No one even sees me unless they poke their head in my office. We use messaging instead of phones, so I don't need to hear anything, except at our weekly Zoom staff meetings.
 
Never take things personal .


I was giving that same advice to a young '' kid '' a new mail carrier in my area and he replied '' But everyone in your community hates you '' and I told him '' See I do not take it personal. ''
 
I heard a lady on the phone in the supermarket this morning telling someone she'll avoid using the word she wanted to use because "there's a lady near me" (that was me). She wanted to use the F word to describe her situation at work. She was saying that the job is literally making her sick; she actually fainted in there. She hasn't had a vacation in 3 years and wants to quit but...... I got what I needed and kept it moving, so I didn't hear the rest.

I think working in a stressful job, especially if one is not appreciated, is the worst! I haven't read through the entire thread, so maybe I missed something. but I don't know why you would want to maintain a working relationship with someone who is clearly taking advantage of you. Perhaps there will be better freelance options. For the sake of your health, I hope you are able to take some time off, whether it be a couple of sick days or a decent vacation.
 
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