Just bought a home, am I supposed to be happy?

Hyperion

Hyperion

New Member
Location
Baltimore, MD USA
I just bought a house and it's not like I thought it would be.

Wife and I spent time looking and looking and doing so much research, decided on a location, went there, home shopped hard for more than a week. I mean we were looking at homes every day, and sometimes 2-3 in one day. We found one and both were like this is perfect we want it.

So, you know the story, we made the offer and they accepted. And it's not like I envisioned it. We were just supposed to be so excited. I'm not, at all. I want to move to a better location and into a nice home, we've been renting for years. But I'm not excited.

Sometimes, I just want to not own anything at all, I mean except the clothing that I wear and then just travel and live in hotel rooms or on cruise ships all of the time. I even just told my wife 'I don't want any of my stuff'. And it is a lot of stuff. And suddenly I am questioning all of this to the point I said to my wife 'After we get moved in and settled, I just want to really evaluate all of this and decide how long do we really want to own a nice home? Or do we just start selling off all of our stuff, put it back on the market and just live free with no possessions.
 

Hyperion, you don't have to be excited now that you've bought the house because the excitement of looking is no longer there. Now the hard reality of owning a home is probably keeping your feet on the ground, which is normal.

But there is nothing like your own home, where you can do whatever you want (no landlord over you), and over time, you will stamp your own identity on it. I remember when we moved into our first house, I kept looking around and envisioning the prior owners in the house. Over time, we painted the walls and did some improvements and made the house the way we wanted it. We took pride in our ownership. It paid off nicely when we sold it 10 years later and were able to buy a newer home with more land.
 
Hi, @Hyperion I remember going to the High Museum in Atlanta to see an exhibit with art by Degas... I was so excited but the experience itself was *flat* I just couldn't take that much in at once. It was too much of a good thing.

sometimes very anticipated things have a way of having a huge let-down once they are accomplished. Give your home and choices some time. You will probably be satisfied with your purchase once the highs-and-lows of the event even out with time.
 
Was it your wifes idea to buy a home & you just went along with it? Is a mortgage & that as a fixed expense in your thinking of not owning.
Buying a home that is going to be your final place to live can be exciting IF you both want the same outcome. From your post it kinda sounds like separate thinking
 
hearlady said:
It must be a bad time to buy a home. My daughter and son in law are back and forth, back and forth. Sold their house but the bid on the new one didn't go through so they are in limbo. Now thinking of staying in GA instead of moving back to NC. šŸ˜®
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We are moving to SC, that is where the house is we are buying. It is a bad time to buy. I am working with a broker and we are just holding as long as possible before we lock it. Then we just hope the rates go down enough in a year or so that we refinance. The biggest problem is that the interest rates are so high. And on top of this inflation. We are prepared to be more poor than normal for a year or so.
 
palides2021 said:
Hyperion, you don't have to be excited now that you've bought the house because the excitement of looking is no longer there. Now the hard reality of owning a home is probably keeping your feet on the ground, which is normal.

But there is nothing like your own home, where you can do whatever you want (no landlord over you), and over time, you will stamp your own identity on it. I remember when we moved into our first house, I kept looking around and envisioning the prior owners in the house. Over time, we painted the walls and did some improvements and made the house the way we wanted it. We took pride in our ownership. It paid off nicely when we sold it 10 years later and were able to buy a newer home with more land.
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Thanks. I think we are both excited and nervous. I know there are so many benefits. I told my wife, it's yours do what you want. I know she has plans for it, lots of them.

She wanted a good neighborhood, near shopping and everything else the house has. I wanted some land, but I did not get it, but at least I did get a fenced in back yard with enough space to garden, so there is that.

It's been so long I've had to mow a yard that I forgot how, lol. I'm sure taking care of the property will be good for me, but I've become so lazy...
 
Knight said:
Was it your wifes idea to buy a home & you just went along with it? Is a mortgage & that as a fixed expense in your thinking of not owning.
Buying a home that is going to be your final place to live can be exciting IF you both want the same outcome. From your post it kinda sounds like separate thinking
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It was both of our idea. The house is beautiful and the location is perfect.

I think the biggest thing it that it is a little more money. And of course the large down payment an closing costs. And so, we will not be able to not even pay attention to spending, like we are used to. We travel and go out to eat a lot and spend a lot. And having this home is going to put a damper on that a little, at least until interest rates go down quite a bit, if they do.

So, it's that. We are used to being able to buy or do what we want, pretty much all of the time. We're not going to be able to do that as much now.
 
Look at it this way, your building equity and over time you will be building a nest egg if you sell. Renting your paying some one else's rent.Is this your first home???
 
Aaah, don't believe that talk about it's a bad time to buy. 10-15 years from now, you'll be a genius for when you bought when you did.
Buying a house makes you feel overwhelmed. You owe a $ million, and you are the owner-the person responsible for everything that could possibly go wrong with the place. And you're stuck in one place. The house is an albatross hung around your neck.
Make a few payments, so you feel like you can handle being the "owner". And the place won't be your house, it will be your home.
 
I believe in the old adage: When in doubt, don't. If you feel uncertain now before you move in, it's not going to get better after. Trust me. Been there, done that. Why do you need a house? It's a lot of work and expense. If it feels like an albatross now, it's going to make you feel like you're in a prison and you're chained to something you "think" you want or should have.

I don't know you or your wife, but I know myself and if I felt like you do and are hesitant to go through with it, then don't. Back off for a while. Do your traveling while you still can. Houses will always be available if you decide later to jump in. If you want to relocate to SC (I lived and worked in Myrtle Beach years ago), get a condo for now.

Your post has so many red flags. I'd say step away for a while and re-think the situation.
 
Hyperion said:
So, it's that. We are used to being able to buy or do what we want, pretty much all of the time. We're not going to be able to do that as much now.
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That pretty much says it all. Trading a lifestyle that you enjoy for one that will impact that makes little sense to me.
Maybe moving out of Baltimore isn't a bad idea because the news about that as a place to live hasn't been good.
If it's not to late & you haven't done it. Would making a list of pros & cons help?
 

Your photo appears that you are a rather youngish man who found the right lady who liked to live "free and easy." That was me until I finally said yes to my husband at age 32, but I drew the line at buying a home. My parents still lived inpacked up m​

their large home and there was always room there if needs be. Same with his family. My parents moved us home after he was killed in Nam.​

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Years later, when they passed away, I became a homeowner. Worse time of my life. Talk about being a nervous wreck. Sold it fast.
My son, however, wanted to own his own home, so he and his wife rented her cousins' house down the shore, here in NJ. They finally bought it, renovated it at exorbitant fees, but got it to where they loved it. Unfortunately, after all that, a year later at age 49 she passed away from cancer.

Naturally, his first inclination was to sell and leave. We all talked him out of it for the time being. That was 5 yrs. ago, and he's made some further changes, bought a couple of boats (one isn't enough?) :), took up with an old girlfriend and is doing fine.

You are moving to a beautiful state. I have many friends there and it is lovely. My advice is, give it time, perhaps 6ā€“12 months. We have an election coming up, and the economy may improve to a livable state once again. But, if you feel you really cannot settle in, and your wife is of like mind, unload it and live happily ever after. God bless.
 
Home ownership isn't for everyone, but you are new to it so give it some time. So much about our lives change after retirement that it's only natural to be nervous, but remember nothing needs to be written in stone. If you make a decision and are unhappy with the results make a new decision and do it differently.

Personally I love having my own home, it's my place of sanctuary in a chaotic world. Where else can you be the Ultimate Ruler Supreme?
 
Hard for me to take in you guys buying your first home now, at this time of life. Oh well, why not?
 
Pepper said:
Hard for me to take in you guys buying your first home now, at this time of life. Oh well, why not?
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My late husband and I didn't buy our first home until he was 56 years old. His job always kept him on the road and he'd be gone for weeks or a month at a time, so he rented most of his single life until we got back together in 1997 (met in 1975). He hated renting so when we got older, I wanted to get a condo or patio home where all maintenance and expenses were someone else's responsibility but he always said no. Now that he's gone, I'm dealing with an expensive house that's too big for me to take care of myself.

Just because you can buy a house, doesn't mean you should buy a house.
 
Moving is very stressful.
Give yourself a break !!!
Sleep on it.

Think of it this way:

Instead of paying rent to someone else so they can pay THEIR house off, you are paying off your own house. Itā€™s not wasted money. You are finally investing in yourself. Itā€™s a bit scary at first but it should eventually leave you feeling liberated and freeā€¦.. and relieved youā€™ve got food & shelter. Things could be worst. Youā€™re tired, thatā€™s all.
 

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