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Airport Revenues Soar After Allowing Travelers To Pay To Turn Off CNN
November 14th, 2019
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WORLD—Airports around the world are reporting record revenues after introducing a long-awaited feature: the ability to turn off CNN on television sets in their terminals.

For just one quarter, you can turn off CNN for a full fifteen minutes while you're waiting for your flight, leaving you with the "far superior" experience of just staring at a blank screen.
"At long last," said one man waiting for his flight at LaGuardia as he dropped a few dollars' worth of quarters into the "Turn CNN Off" slot. "Honestly, I might fly more now." He's not alone: airports expect a 426% uptick in traveling over the holidays as flyers no longer have to worry about having the droning words of CNN hosts pounded into their heads for hours on a layover.
The feature has been one of the most-requested by travelers along with the dismantling of the TSA and pretzel bags with more than 3 pretzels in them.
The money-making move has inspired moments of human compassion and unity as travelers lend each other money or leave quarters behind atop the television sets for future travelers to turn off CNN. One anonymous philanthropist at DFW prepaid for over a year of CNN-less travel throughout the terminal.
More here:
https://babylonbee.com/news/airport-revenues-soar-after-allowing-travelers-to-pay-to-turn-off-cnN
 

Airport Revenues Soar After Allowing Travelers To Pay To Turn Off CNN
November 14th, 2019
article-5133-1.jpg


WORLD—Airports around the world are reporting record revenues after introducing a long-awaited feature: the ability to turn off CNN on television sets in their terminals.

For just one quarter, you can turn off CNN for a full fifteen minutes while you're waiting for your flight, leaving you with the "far superior" experience of just staring at a blank screen.
"At long last," said one man waiting for his flight at LaGuardia as he dropped a few dollars' worth of quarters into the "Turn CNN Off" slot. "Honestly, I might fly more now." He's not alone: airports expect a 426% uptick in traveling over the holidays as flyers no longer have to worry about having the droning words of CNN hosts pounded into their heads for hours on a layover.
The feature has been one of the most-requested by travelers along with the dismantling of the TSA and pretzel bags with more than 3 pretzels in them.
The money-making move has inspired moments of human compassion and unity as travelers lend each other money or leave quarters behind atop the television sets for future travelers to turn off CNN. One anonymous philanthropist at DFW prepaid for over a year of CNN-less travel throughout the terminal.
More here:
https://babylonbee.com/news/airport-revenues-soar-after-allowing-travelers-to-pay-to-turn-off-cnN
Sounds great but is this for real?
 
No, sorry Lc jones~this article is from a humor satire site. Too bad though. I'd pay for them to turn the Te-Lie-visions off, in waiting rooms, in airports, and in restaurants, too. Just a bunch of senseless noise.
Agree. Also it's more than a little insulting. Over the past 30 years, people in charge of public spaces have apparently concluded that human beings can no longer figure out how to keep ourselves occupied for short periods of time. Waiting rooms at doctors, dentists, hospitals, airports, etc., all have TVs blaring. Same with bars and more than a few restaurants. I've been shopping for a car recently and, you guessed it, every automobile dealership has huge TVs going with 24 hour news channels.

At grocers or Costco, you'll see even tiny tykes riding in shopping carts, eyes glued to their parents' iPhones.
 
CNN, and all of the rest, used to cover the news all over the world. All were interesting to watch, with no obvious political agendas being constantly served up. Somewhere around twenty years ago, or so, the major news channels all started covering only two to three major news stories, per day, and ran them into the ground, and then some. Political agendas crept in, and all went to hell. I stopped watching them in the 00's
 
CNN, and all of the rest, used to cover the news all over the world. All were interesting to watch, with no obvious political agendas being constantly served up. Somewhere around twenty years ago, or so, the major news channels all started covering only two to three major news stories, per day, and ran them into the ground, and then some. Political agendas crept in, and all went to hell. I stopped watching them in the 00's
I no longer watch any television news, nor watch it online. Wish I'd given it up as early as you did, it would have saved a lot of stress. I subscribe to a couple of newspapers and magazines with good investigative reporting. They cover important stories and I can cherry pick what to read.

Except when it's time to vote, politics have largely disappeared from my radar. When family or friends start talking politics, I excuse myself, change the subject, or politely request we talk about something else. And this is among people whose politics align with mine. Chewing on the same old bone gets me nowhere but crazy.
 
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No, sorry Lc jones~this article is from a humor satire site. Too bad though. I'd pay for them to turn the Te-Lie-visions off, in waiting rooms, in airports, and in restaurants, too. Just a bunch of senseless noise.
I guess I“ll need to continue to wear earplugs...👍
 


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