Kids, or no kids.

fuzzybuddy

fuzzybuddy

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The Sticks, Northeast PA.
I admit I'm a geezer. The days of bouncing my child on my knee are way behind me. There are times when I want kids around, and times when I don't. The only time kids stop moving is when they're asleep. A cruise ship packed with kids, is not my odea of a vacation. But having kids next door is a different thing. What are you- Kids, or no kids?
 

fuzzybuddy said:
A cruise ship packed with kids, is not my odea of a vacation.
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So please stay away from this ...

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I'm definitely "no kids". I was an only child so I wasn't exposed to babies or siblings and I never understood the attachment or attraction of having babies. I had one child and that was enough for me. I knew I wasn't cut out to be a mother....or grandmother. I honestly don't know what to do with a baby or how to deal with kids. My late husband was the oldest of 5 so he always liked kids and knew how to talk/play with them. I didn't. I never even had dolls when I was growing up. They had no appeal to me. Not all women have that maternal gene.
 

Oh I can't stand having kids around me unless they are quietly reading. I think because I didn't have kids that I'm this way. Any of my other friends who had kids, oh, they will talk to kids when we're on transit or in a restaurant and say how cute they are. Give me a kitty or doggie in lieu of please to talk to. Also the only niece and nephew I have, we are estranged as their mother(deceased now) hated our side of the family. And my brother just listened to his first wife so there you go.
 
I have no issue with kids. It's the parents who are self-absorbed and have no interest in "parenting" that I have an issue with. We live in an area that is surrounded by neighborhoods with wealthy soccer moms who drive behemoth SUVs. We know on weekends that any restaurant is going to be a nightmare. Yes, kids are going to have their tantrums and meltdowns and run rampant but it is up to the parents to control it. Instead, they just continue talking with their other friends with kids or planting their faces in their phones.

We went to a burger joint recently and the kids were so loud we moved to an outside table. Wouldn't you know that a mother allowed her kids to run around screaming outside. She apologized to us for the noise, so she clearly knew that they were loud, but she never did anything to correct it.
 
I've always taken birth control seriously and was entirely successful in that.

Growing up as the second oldest of seven I was very used to kids and I cared about my younger sibs and that was reciprocated. My parents extended family all thought I was great with them. My stepson was six when my wife and I met and that experience followed by teaching a couple thousand twelve to thirteen year olds has been quite enough, thank you. Except for my youngest brother's kids who I am very close to as I am with him. The boy is 15 now and not very communicative but my niece just turned 18 and couldn't be sweeter. They both love dogs my brother must be doing something right.
 
Colleen said:
I'm definitely "no kids". I was an only child so I wasn't exposed to babies or siblings and I never understood the attachment or attraction of having babies. I had one child and that was enough for me. I knew I wasn't cut out to be a mother....or grandmother. I honestly don't know what to do with a baby or how to deal with kids. My late husband was the oldest of 5 so he always liked kids and knew how to talk/play with them. I didn't. I never even had dolls when I was growing up. They had no appeal to me. Not all women have that maternal gene.
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Well articulated and well stated.
While I like kids, I never wanted to have my own. Some friends and family tried to make me feel bad for my decision. In my mind, I think I made the best decision. There are many adults who should never have kids.
My husband, on the other hand, canā€™t stand the sound of kids. He has zero tolerance. Itā€™s actually embarrassing at times when we go out cause he doesnā€™t hide his displeasure
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Many times in my life I have perferred the company of children over adults so I'm very tolerant of kids but not of poor parenting. By that I mean I can easily accept energetic kids bouncing around but once it interferes with others or the child shows poor manners then the parent needs to step up.

That same philosophy applies to when kids should be included, I have no problem with kids at a wedding or on an airplane, but don't bring the young kids to a black tie dinner to listen to a lecturer. Though even at that fancy dinner when the kids are playing chase under the tables I'm not irritated with them, but am inclined to hide under the table myself.
 
Like in the OP's post it depends on the situation. A few examples
Screaming, whiney kids at a restaurant no way. Expected to be a built in baby sitter nope. Kids playing in the street not a problem.
 
My SIL has 4 kids and, sure, they occasionally had meltdowns but she never ignored it and if they were in a public place she took them outside for a "time out" so as not to disturb others around them. They are 16-24 these days and all are respectful and very well-mannered. My SIL, BIL and my hubby are all soft-spoken, courteous and caring so it is clear she carried on the legacy of her mother and father.
 
Colleen said:
I'm definitely "no kids". I was an only child so I wasn't exposed to babies or siblings and I never understood the attachment or attraction of having babies. I had one child and that was enough for me. I knew I wasn't cut out to be a mother....or grandmother. I honestly don't know what to do with a baby or how to deal with kids. My late husband was the oldest of 5 so he always liked kids and knew how to talk/play with them. I didn't. I never even had dolls when I was growing up. They had no appeal to me. Not all women have that maternal gene.
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Maybe that's why your son has distanced himself. Do you think he picked up on your lack of interest? It's true, not everyone is cut out to be a parent.
 

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