Learning How To Live Life

MarciKS said:
Last night I deleted my FB account. Ever since they started using Meta I'd had nothing but problems. FB has turned into such an AI circus that I just am not that interested in it anymore. But the last straw has been that in the last few days when I have wanted to log in it has either blocked me or it keeps saying i'm signing in on a device it doesn't recognize or a location it doesn't recognize. yesterday it blocked me twice saying i was logging in from mcconnell airforce base. said it was suspicious.

i tried the help center but that's all ai and the instructions given to me were basically as such...go back to where the problem was and shake your phone. (what in the actual hell kind of instruction is that? lol) then it said it needed a screenshot and i don't know what all else but i didn't feel like jumping through hoops anymore so i deleted it.
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Don't blame you. I don't use mine anymore either.
 

MarciKS said:
I can stream apps like paramount and pluto on my phone via the Verizon 5g. I have unlimited everything on the phone. Might be able to watch stuff on the browser but never tried.
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That's great to know.
I've had a terrible time the past couple of years, trying to learn how to get Anything that used to be on TV.
So if you have Verizon, do you have to buy apps like Paramount?

Then there's no live tv?
 
Kaila said:
That's great to know.
I've had a terrible time the past couple of years, trying to learn how to get Anything that used to be on TV.
So if you have Verizon, do you have to buy apps like Paramount?

Then there's no live tv?
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I get paramount free through Walmart plus otherwise the app is free but you pay whatever the monthly fee is. There is some live CBS TV on there and nfl football on Sunday's. Pluto TV app is free and so is the service but not sure about live tv.
 
busy night at work. did some work in the living room and will do more tomorrow so that i can deep clean the living room on thursday. getting some things delivered thursday to help with my cleaning.

i will still have some other decluttering to do in the bedroom and living room to make room for some more items to all have a place. I wanted to buy an end table but they're more than the recliners. I still have some tv trays in the basement. i can bring one up.

just tryin to get life in order.
 
I find it interesting that folks favor the death penalty so easily. Especially when considering the story of Jesus dying for our sins. I often wonder if people would feel differently about the death penalty if Jesus just offed us anytime we sinned. No forgiveness. Just swift judgement followed by instant death. No mercy. No consideration of our guilt or innocence. Just ZAP! Game over. No second chances at living a proper life. Nothing. We live in a world full of hate and unforgiveness. Both pollute the heart, mind and soul. And that pollution leaves no room for love.

Anyway, having my coffee. I think I only got in to clean one room entirely last night. I can't remember if it was last night or night before but there was 40 people waiting to be seen yet at like at 8 or 9 pm. I couldn't even get into the rooms between people. We had 3 covids and 3 influenzas. One bed bug room yesterday but it was a day shift problem.

Tonight when I get home I have some other things that I need to sort and set aside that can't go in the trash and some that will hafta wait til next time to be thrown out. They don't like it if we overfill our trollies. They went up to $21.25 a month for trash pickup once a week. That's ridiculous. And if you have anything outside the trolly they won't take it. The kid let me add the stuff I had on the ground to the trolly and he took it but I saw him look at the driver first. I hope he didn't get in trouble.

There's stuff from the basement that will need to be thrown out but I will hafta do so in small increments as the storage tubs are too heavy for me to get up the stairs. I have more blankets down there but the spiders have gotten into the containers so, they're on the no stay list. Plus they're likely dry rotted by now. I had a sweat suit that was dry rotted so bad the pants were literally falling apart and the shirt wasn't long for this world.

After I get the living room cleaned tomorrow, I can sit down and do some gaming.
 
it was a busy day at work. i came home and took some stuff to the basement that took several trips and got some more trash ready so the trolly is full now. so hopefully i can avoid having too much trash before Monday. i'm ready to get the room deep cleaned tomorrow. i just wish my back would quit hurting. must be arthritis or something. Makes me sad.
 
well, the living room will hafta wait. i'm in too much pain and too exhausted to do it today. i will try and see how i feel monday. otherwise it will hafta wait til the following weekend. next time i see my primary i'm gonna ask if we can check on my arthritis. mom had ra so i'm gonna have him check that again. i think he did a blood test last time. it has to be arthritis. i wasn't hurting like this before. it's gotten worse since last year. and aleve isn't even touching it. i can't have aspirin except for an occasional baby aspirin because of my tourette's. only other option is tylenol. :rolleyes:

i'm having some hot chocolate. waiting for a few groceries i purchased for cleaning the house. i also ordered some more kn95s so i can use some insect spray without it killing me too. lol!

i have some dishes to do and i need a shower. after that i think i'm just gonna order take out today. i am too pooped to deal with cooking and more dishes. :(
 
I would like to talk about depression. I've had it for years. It is well under control for the most part. But on occasion I go to a very dark place within. Sometimes things trigger it or it will come out of nowhere. It is also a side effect of my lung medicine so I will have to keep an eye on it.

I go to a place where I feel worthless, unloved, unwanted & not needed for anything. Like I'm just in the way and don't belong in this life or this world. Like I am just nothing to no one. It is extremely painful.

Things have been triggering it as of late. I hate feeling like this. What's worse is having to go to work and smile and pretend to be ok. When what I want to do is stay home and curl up in a ball under the covers and cry til it stops hurting.

It's incredibly difficult to not let it pull me under. But each day I drag myself out of bed & get on with my life. I'm not always emotionally present. I'm just kinda there like a shell of me. I can't take antidepressants so I have to muster the strength to overcome and move on. I've been doing this since I was young.

Sometimes if things get bad enough I shut down. Not on purpose. Like a coping mechanism. I'm just there but not. At least when I shut down I don't feel anymore pain. I'm just existing. I can understand why so many take their lives. I tried once when I was a teen but didn't take enough pills.

I promised myself I'd never let myself sink that low ever again. It's been damn tough at times. I wanna just give into it sometimes so I don't have to live like this anymore. But I know God has better things in store for me when this life is over. And I think he's the reason I have the strength to get about of bed and continue on with my life whether I want to or not.

It's not easy spending your entire life feeling like you don't matter to anyone. I mattered enough to God for him to put out his hand and help me up. Why he loves me so much I will never know. Because nobody else seems to.

Depression is the hardest road to travel because you travel alone.

Don't worry...I'm gonna go take my shower and some anxiety medicine and maybe have some tea. Talk to you guys later.
 
MarciKS said:
I would like to talk about depression. I've had it for years. It is well under control for the most part. But on occasion I go to a very dark place within. Sometimes things trigger it or it will come out of nowhere. It is also a side effect of my lung medicine so I will have to keep an eye on it.

I go to a place where I feel worthless, unloved, unwanted & not needed for anything. Like I'm just in the way and don't belong in this life or this world. Like I am just nothing to no one. It is extremely painful.

Things have been triggering it as of late. I hate feeling like this. What's worse is having to go to work and smile and pretend to be ok. When what I want to do is stay home and curl up in a ball under the covers and cry til it stops hurting.

It's incredibly difficult to not let it pull me under. But each day I drag myself out of bed & get on with my life. I'm not always emotionally present. I'm just kinda there like a shell of me. I can't take antidepressants so I have to muster the strength to overcome and move on. I've been doing this since I was young.

Sometimes if things get bad enough I shut down. Not on purpose. Like a coping mechanism. I'm just there but not. At least when I shut down I don't feel anymore pain. I'm just existing. I can understand why so many take their lives. I tried once when I was a teen but didn't take enough pills.

I promised myself I'd never let myself sink that low ever again. It's been damn tough at times. I wanna just give into it sometimes so I don't have to live like this anymore. But I know God has better things in store for me when this life is over. And I think he's the reason I have the strength to get about of bed and continue on with my life whether I want to or not.

It's not easy spending your entire life feeling like you don't matter to anyone. I mattered enough to God for him to put out his hand and help me up. Why he loves me so much I will never know. Because nobody else seems to.

Depression is the hardest road to travel because you travel alone.

Don't worry...I'm gonna go take my shower and some anxiety medicine and maybe have some tea. Talk to you guys later.
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Sorry you're struggling so much right now, Marci. It can be so hard, I know. Sending you love. ❤️
 
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