Let others choose clothes for you

R

Rose65

Well-known Member
Location
United Kingdom
I am amazed at how some people let others choose for them. I know of two couples where the husband chooses clothes for his wife and daughters - even wedding dresses for his girl's weddings. All because he has far better taste apparently. Another couple where the wife leaves it to her husband to choose all her outfits as she hates shopping.

Another woman chooses books for her husband.

What! I would never ever have anyone choose clothes and certainly not my books. These to me are my personal choice. I might let a female friend help me choose clothes but I know what suits me.
 

I do not like to ask a friend to help me make up my mind about something. If they say something opposite to what you had in mind then you have a dilemma on your hands. You don't really want what they suggest and they are offended if you do the opposite of their suggestion.

Recommending a book I liked is something casual and I will do that.
 
Sometimes my husband suggests a top while we are out shopping and it's usually awful. Something totally the wrong colour or a style I wouldn't ever wear. I would never trust him to buy clothes for me. He has bought the odd thing as a Christmas present and almost always a disaster. One time he got me an expensive cardigan at Christmas, but it was so totally the wrong style. I've never worn it and I've told him kindly diplomatically not to give me clothes.
 
People who mandate or try to mandate choices for others may tend to be into controlling them. I saw a husband shopping with or rather for his wife at the market; his notion of being a “smart shopper” was buying only the cheapest brands, his total objective being to save money.

Asking for an opinion is fine; seeking to impose a personal choice is a red flag. When you recognize and accept someone’s personal choices, you are honoring and respecting their personhood...
 
I’m not sure I understand why the OP (and others too) are upset by this.

There’s no indication from the OP that these choices are FORCED on the spouse or loved ones. It reads like the loved ones have given permission for their spouse to make these choices for them. Why is that a problem?

Ron chooses all my jewelry. Diamonds of some kind are his typical gift to me for birthday and Christmas. He has excellent taste and I love everything he’s given me!

He sometimes buys clothes for me and though there has occasionally been an issue with size, (sweet man sees me as smaller than I am, God love him! ❤️) I’ve never disliked the style.

Sometimes I’ll ask him to decide what I should wear when we go somewhere, or tell him it’s his choice where we go to dinner or what food he should pick up if I don’t feel like cooking.

Sometimes I am just DONE making any more decisions and I’m grateful he’s willing to!
 
My wife likes to buy a shirt for me now and then. When she brings it home, I get to decide if it’s a keeper or not. I’m very careful of the shirts that I tell her to return because I am aware of her feelings and I know she thinks I have trust in her judgment. I return maybe 1 in 10 shirts she brings home, but I have also returned shirts I brought home.
 
My late husband, when looking at me, must have seen something else than what I saw in the mirror. His clothes purchases for me, while extremely good-hearted and well-intentioned, were never...uh..."me".

The Spousal Equivalent, thank goodness, does not "surprise" me with clothing. I'm not sure what his actual taste in women's clothing is, because if I ask "How does this look?", his answer is, "That looks fine." Or, in answer to my question of "Which one looks better?", I get "They both look fine."
 
Ever since I could remember, growing up, my mom would shop me clothes. Even in college, she continued. Then I married and left. She still does it to this day, but I've let her know in no uncertain terms that my taste is different from hers. She has good taste, I admit, but she tends to choose clothes that are too big for me and I look fat in them. Seriously! I was down in Florida for a wedding, having chosen my dress for the wedding and there she was, offering me another dress (actually, 2-3 dresses) for me to wear. I don't know if this is her wanting to control what I wear, or it's become a habit, or letting me know she has better taste in clothes. It doesn't end with my mother. My sisters were also trying to change my hairstyle for the wedding. I didn't feel comfortable at all.
 
I like to make up my own mind but am open to suggestion. My dad had wonderful taste buying fine jewelry for the female members of my family and I would trust him over my own mother to do a good job of it. He just had better taste. Some people do. It's for real. It's no big deal.
 
My DH and I learned a long time ago to choose and buy our own clothes.
There are exceptions for basics. I know what underwear to buy him.
Hats are a no. I just brought him one from vacation.
It was a "trucker hat". Apparently he doesn't wear that style. Who knew? It was a hat! However, I now see that there is a certain type he wears. I didn't realize the back of the hat is different. Well, he has suggested hats to me when shopping on vacation and they are always a no. There you go.
 

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