Loss after loss after loss

B

Blessed

Well-known Member
Here we are Christmas time. I lost my husband to cancer many years ago. Our best friend from high school promised he would look after me. I had actually known him from second grade, the age of seven. He became my husbands best friend at 15. He was always in our lifes as a friend that as a business partner in our early twenties. He was like a brother inlaw.

When my husband got sick with cancer he was there more that his own family. I could call him for anything. He sat at the hospital so I could go home and sleep. He came just to visit and watch football with the hubs.

Fast forward 10 years, we lost this friend to a sudden heart attack. The man who was willing to step up and take care of my son and I. We never had a worry, it there was a problem, if we were scared we could call him. Not many have a friend so dear that will come behind a loss, pick up the pieces and make a family feel safe and never even think that he is making any sacrifice. He is still such a wonder to me, he left his estate to my son as he never married or had children. How lucky is my son to have his Dad and his second dad to want only the very best for him. I tell this story, this Christmas night, to let you know there are angels out there. They are just waiting for the family that is doing their best and might need some looking after in times of need of extra care.

That angel can be someone you have known all you life, has been your friend watching you work hard, build a family all the while showing kindness to others. Inviting others to your table for a meal, letting others sleep in your home when there is nowhere to lay their head. Just simple kindness, those things built a life, a marriage that lasted until death.

I would, this night, call myself Blessed. I was able to marry a boy I fell in love with at the age of 15. We were blessed to have a dear friend that I had known from the age of 7. My son and I were protected and kept safe by the deep friendship between these two men. Both of these precious men have passed into God's kingdom now but I still feel they are watching, ready to lead when we need help.
 
Losses were more intense in my childhood... thankfully, it's been less frequent nowadays.

1966, grand-uncle
1969, favourite grand-papa
1973, grand-mother
1974 (just 9 months after previous above), my beloved Papa

Round the mid to late 70s, a few uncles and a cousin who died by his choice when his wife told him, in the car, that she wanted a divorce)

1993, favourite grandma Snow, 2 weeks short of her 100th birthday.
1997, mother
2006, brother-in-law
2017, my son
2022, my husband.
 
Blessed said:
Here we are Christmas time. I lost my husband to cancer many years ago. Our best friend from high school promised he would look after me. I had actually known him from second grade, the age of seven. He became my husbands best friend at 15. He was always in our lifes as a friend that as a business partner in our early twenties. He was like a brother inlaw.

When my husband got sick with cancer he was there more that his own family. I could call him for anything. He sat at the hospital so I could go home and sleep. He came just to visit and watch football with the hubs.

Fast forward 10 years, we lost this friend to a sudden heart attack. The man who was willing to step up and take care of my son and I. We never had a worry, it there was a problem, if we were scared we could call him. Not many have a friend so dear that will come behind a loss, pick up the pieces and make a family feel safe and never even think that he is making any sacrifice. He is still such a wonder to me, he left his estate to my son as he never married or had children. How lucky is my son to have his Dad and his second dad to want only the very best for him. I tell this story, this Christmas night, to let you know there are angels out there. They are just waiting for the family that is doing their best and might need some looking after in times of need of extra care.

That angel can be someone you have known all you life, has been your friend watching you work hard, build a family all the while showing kindness to others. Inviting others to your table for a meal, letting others sleep in your home when there is nowhere to lay their head. Just simple kindness, those things built a life, a marriage that lasted until death.

I would, this night, call myself Blessed. I was able to marry a boy I fell in love with at the age of 15. We were blessed to have a dear friend that I had known from the age of 7. My son and I were protected and kept safe by the deep friendship between these two men. Both of these precious men have passed into God's kingdom now but I still feel they are watching, ready to lead when we need help.
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What a lovely story, @Blessed! Your name Blessed is truly well deserved. Thanks for sharing!
 
I am from a large family. I was my father's tenth child, but one brother died in infancy before I was born. I loved having six older brothers and two older sisters, but over the decades after my mother and father died all my siblings except one has died. My one remaining sibling is my eighty-five year brother who is in a nursing home and is in very poor condition. He has sores on both feet which have become infected with MERSA. Having many people to love also means having many people to loose.
 
Don Reid said:
I am from a large family. I was my father's tenth child, but one brother died in infancy before I was born. I loved having six older brothers and two older sisters, but over the decades after my mother and father died all my siblings except one has died. My one remaining sibling is my eighty-five year brother who is in a nursing home and is in very poor condition. He has sores on both feet which have become infected with MERSA. Having many people to love also means having many people to loose.
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Wow! So sorry to hear. My Papa was the third of nine. Grandfather died in 1959, so grandmother was left to raise her brood but thankfully by then most were married.

Unfortunately, she wasn't spared heartaches as round her 65th birthday, she was hit by a taxi driver who'd mounted the pavement to prevent hitting a dog which had ran out in the street.

She had a hip replacement with metal pins and her whole left hand bones had to be reinforced with silver structures. It gave her a lifetime of pain. Sadly, losing children was next in her line of heartbreaks.

Throughout the 70s, 80s and 90s, they died one after the other but the worst were two within days of each other. It was so shocking that basically she just gave up on life.

It went like this in 1993. Eldest son on 13 March, youngest daughter on 15 March and grandmother died herself on 17 March. It was too much.

Believe me, I know the pain of having to bury your own child. I've lost my son a few months after his 26th birthday. It's just been the seventh anniversary and I'm just beginning to function and add onto that the loss of my husband in 2022.

I've just lost one and grandmother lost five during those decades. Also, there were grandchildren who passed away before her and even great-grandchildren. Now, all that was remaining of her children was my uncle, who's the youngest and in his 70s but just last year (2023), he departed as well.

They'd survived so much in life. World War I, the flu pandemic of 1918, participating in World War II. History from their births in the 1890s, their wedding at the same time as the Titanic disaster and grandad dying so young. As well as the very special way dear grandma Snow arrived in the world. It was fantastic to speak with her, as I absolutely love history.

I'm facing another major milestone this year. Papa died 14 February 1974 and this year marks 50 years. Sorry for the rambling, I find it very interesting to learn of other big families, so all my sincere condolences to you and yours.

Papa ended up with the smallest family as there were only two children which survived the births by C-section, myself (I'm the youngest) and my older sibling who passed away in 2021 who'd been born at the end of WWII.
 
How wonderful that you choose to see having known these remarkable friends (your husband and his BFF) as a blessing rather than focus on grief. We as humans can be so resilient. You and your family were indeed blessed to have these two wonderful men in your lives.

Speaking of loss after loss, the losses in my late DIL's family have been astounding. First her 35 year old nephew (her twin sister's son) died in the recovery room after he had weight loss surgery. A couple of years later, my DIL died due to COVID, three months later her twin died, about two years later their mother, who was so beloved, passed away and a few months after that, their sister who hadn't been married a year yet, lost her husband! My two oldest grandsons and their first cousins, as well as their entire family who are the epitome of close-knit, were left reeling. Obviously this also greatly affected my son and me. My DIL was like my daughter and her family was our extended family.

Through all of that, my DILs nephew, who managed to visit his grandmother every day despite having two jobs, remained a rock throughout the ordeals. He even mustered the strength to go back to his classes and get his PhD shortly after his mother passed. That young man is an excellent example of how grief can be overcome allowing us to still be able to embrace the good things life has to offer.
 
OneEyedDiva said:
How wonderful that you choose to see having known these remarkable friends (your husband and his BFF) as a blessing rather than focus on grief. We as humans can be so resilient. You and your family were indeed blessed to have these two wonderful men in your lives.

Speaking of loss after loss, the losses in my late DIL's family have been astounding. First her 35 year old nephew (her twin sister's son) died in the recovery room after he had weight loss surgery. A couple of years later, my DIL died due to COVID, three months later her twin died, about two years later their mother, who was so beloved, passed away and a few months after that, their sister who hadn't been married a year yet, lost her husband! My two oldest grandsons and their first cousins, as well as their entire family who are the epitome of close-knit, were left reeling. Obviously this also greatly affected my son and me. My DIL was like my daughter and her family was our extended family.

Through all of that, my DILs nephew, who managed to visit his grandmother every day despite having two jobs, remained a rock throughout the ordeals. He even mustered the strength to go back to his classes and get his PhD shortly after his mother passed. That young man is an excellent example of how grief can be overcome allowing us to still be able to embrace the good things life has to offer.
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what overwhelming loss...you and your family's life have been hit hard with grief...your story encourages me to pick up the pieces and move forward with strength..thank you
 
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