Man dementia is a bad trip

TheOtherRick

TheOtherRick

Member
Location
Savannah Missouri
I've been seeing it close-up, and I tell you it's scary I hope I never fall into that hell. I try to be patient and understanding, but, I think I'll be hiding in my room today. I hope there isn't some hidden corner where the sufferer knows what's going on but can't help themselves. Because that would be a punishment too far.
 

When I was a young woman a friend of mine flipped out on a bad acid trip. She wound up in Bellevue Hospital, Mental Ward, one of the worst dungeons of its time. While looking for her room to visit her, I got lost & wound up in a room of three very elderly women all crying for their mothers. I have never gotten over it, can still hear it & see it in my mind, esp. when I myself am now old and sometimes want my mother.

So, what's actually going on where you are Rick? We're here to make your life pleasant, cause you are a great guy.
 
TheOtherRick said:
I've been seeing it close-up, and I tell you it's scary I hope I never fall into that hell. I try to be patient and understanding, but, I think I'll be hiding in my room today. I hope there isn't some hidden corner where the sufferer knows what's going on but can't help themselves. Because that would be a punishment too far.
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Hiding in your room isnā€™t a healthy solution. Please remember dementia is expected where you are. Iā€™m sure half the people there have it. Maybe you are just having a rough morning.
Donā€™t hide Rick. That will just make you feel ostracized.
 
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Pepper said:
When I was a young woman a friend of mine flipped out on a bad acid trip. She wound up in Bellevue Hospital, Mental Ward, one of the worst dungeons of its time. While looking for her room to visit her, I got lost & wound up in a room of three very elderly women all crying for their mothers. I have never gotten over it, can still hear it & see it in my mind, esp. when I myself am now old and sometimes want my mother.

So, what's actually going on where you are Rick? We're here to make your life pleasant, cause you are a great guy.
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The dining room can be pretty heavy at times this morning we had three dementia sufferers all going at once, building off of each other. They want us to socialize with each other, so I can understand why they bring these ladies out, but they were hitting all the worst notes today for whatever reason. I think a little private time will do me a world of good right now.
 
My dad is usually the only dementia patient at the home he is at. It's a private resident home owned by a wonderful woman. Most of the time there are up to 7 other residents at the home and I have gotten to know a couple of them and they are great. One of them is a woman who is probably in her late 80's and she tells some great dirty jokes.

I understand wanting the private time though. Hopefully once you feel comfortable you will get out and get to know some who live there.
 
TheOtherRick said:
I've been seeing it close-up, and I tell you it's scary I hope I never fall into that hell. I try to be patient and understanding, but, I think I'll be hiding in my room today. I hope there isn't some hidden corner where the sufferer knows what's going on but can't help themselves. Because that would be a punishment too far.
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I've seen it up close too when I was a student doing fieldwork at an elderly people's day care. I had to go to the restroom to let my tears out. It was so sad. My grandmother also had dementia. I cried then too, a horrible way for one's life to end.
 
@Rick,, sorry to read about your situation.

My husband & I have watched & helped our beloved family members who suffered dementia.
It is one of the hardest things we've deal with in our lives .

Would be harder & scary to have strangers 'carrying on' while you tried to eat.

Hope you have good book to read or something happy to watch on YouTube.
 
I sincerely hope you never experience dementia Rick. I went through it with my mother. As her only child, I was the major caregiver. Even after she went into a nursing home...I was there daily (unless I was sick) and sometimes twice during the day. She was usually her sweet self during the day but when "sundowning" happened, she was in a hellish world that I sometimes got dragged into. It was astonishing, frightening and heartbreaking. I think I posted more detail about it in another thread. If I find that post, I'll repost it here.

Now my half sister (we really don't like using that term) is going through it. I'm not her major caregiver so I get bits and pieces of what's happening to her but am not immersed in it. We used to take vacations together and I recognized when it first started happening a few years ago, but no one else close to her wanted to acknowledge it. Now her children, our nieces and her S.O., have no choice. It is so hard watching loved ones slipping into darkness!
 
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OneEyedDiva said:
I sincerely hope you never experience dementia Rick. I went through it with my mother. As her only child, I was the major caretaker. Even after she went into a nursing home...I was there daily (unless I was sick) and sometimes twice during the day. She was usually her sweet self during the day but when "sundowning" happened, she was in a hellish world that I sometimes got dragged into. It was astonishing, frightening and heartbreaking. I think I posted more detail about it in another thread. If I find that post, I'll repost it here.

Now my half sister (we really don't like using that term) is going through it. I'm not her major caregiver so I get bits and pieces of what's happening to her but am not immersed in it. We used to take vacations together and I recognized when it first started happening a few years ago, but no one else close to her wanted to acknowledge it. Now her children, our nieces and her S.O., have no choice. It is so hard watching loved ones slipping into darkness!
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I hope the same for you OED, it's a nightmare existence.
 
I wondered if all, of your meals are required to be taken in the dining room, Rick?

Even though it's good to go there whenever and as often you can, I just wondered if you are allowed to decide when you might want, occasionally, not to.
 
Kaila said:
I wondered if all, of your meals are required to be taken in the dining room, Rick?

Even though it's good to go there whenever and as often you can, I just wondered if you are allowed to decide when you might want, occasionally, not to.
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Oh yeah, but most of the time I enjoy eating with others. After being alone for so long it feels good to be around other people, even if it gets crazy at times.
 
TheOtherRick said:
Oh yeah, but most of the time I enjoy eating with others. After being alone for so long it feels good to be around other people, even if it gets crazy at times.
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That's good to know.
Thanks for replying to my question, Rick.
I'm glad that you can enjoy the interactions. And that you do have an option, just in case if sometime, you just want the break, for whatever reason you might decide.
 
Yes Rick, if it gets too intense, remove yourself from the situation. People with dementia can also be mean at times. It varies greatly. Even with the individual.

Does the facility have any other common spaces you can hang out in? Or any decent outdoor space? Dementia scares the heck out of me.
 
I hung out with "dementia" patients/residents for part of my life - and assisted them in their daily living programs. we didn't do it that well in fact nor that bad - just middlin - which of course is never good enough. Many state homes are poorly funded so don't get enough staff nor always the best quality? Some of those 'guys' were strong and could throw a dangerous punch when aroused! I only worked with males ? - I might have been better with females who knows?

But to do it well takes a special calling with some special skills - I watched some of my colleagues do it better than I - they had the touch - it can be done but takes a sprinkle of 'magic' sometimes as a heap of love that some of us need ourselves and don't have in abundance. I often think this end of 'care giving' is the biggest challenge. I recall that some of the Scandanavian countries seem to have captured the 'magic' better than the rest of us? It does require finances ; choosing the correct personalities and excellent training?
 
Remy said:
Yes Rick, if it gets too intense, remove yourself from the situation. People with dementia can also be mean at times. It varies greatly. Even with the individual.

Does the facility have any other common spaces you can hang out in? Or any decent outdoor space? Dementia scares the heck out of me.
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Yes, I can go outside whenever I want and there are common areas I can go to, I shake it off, I know they can't help themselves, that they used to be just like you and me. I avoid interacting because I don't think it would do any good and I don't believe they would remember if I did.
 

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