-Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering
-Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
-A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
-Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
-How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
-A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
-A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
-Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
-The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
-Cosmetics: A woman's means for keeping a man from reading between the lines.
-Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
-First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
-Marriage is grand -- and divorce is about 10 grand.
-Marriage is all about listening. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
-When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
-A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"
-Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
-A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
-Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
-How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
-A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
-A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
-Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
-The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
-Cosmetics: A woman's means for keeping a man from reading between the lines.
-Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
-First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
-Marriage is grand -- and divorce is about 10 grand.
-Marriage is all about listening. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
-When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
-A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"
