Marriages between different religions

R

Rose65

Well-known Member
Location
United Kingdom
Love is a powerful thing and is said to overcome all. It gets me thinking about those who are of different religious beliefs and how it doesn't perhaps matter at first but likely becomes more important as time goes by. Matters such as which faith to bring children into. Even at the beginning could be the hurdle of where to hold the wedding.

Love and accepting each others beliefs is the way to a peaceful successful marriage but can certainly undoubtedly pose a challenge if one or both have a strong faith in whichever religion.
 

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I came from a culture where the greatest 'sin' would be to marry a catholic. We had plenty of catholic friends and that was fine, but marriage was a different matter. The daughter of a near neighbour was disowned for marrying a catholic and although they had a happy marriage, they were never allowed back inside her parents house.

I'm glad to have never found myself involved in these situations. I'd just love to see religion banished - it might solve a lot of problems.
 
This reminds me of a song lyric by the group The Irish Rovers....Me Father he was Orange , while me Mother, she was Green. My Dad was an Irish Protestant as a boy, and me Mum was raised in a strict Roman Catholic family. Once they were old enough to go out and work, and live away from their Parents, both of them dropped the pretense and never set foot in a church again.

Dad served in the Canadian Army during WW1, and if there was a "church parade " he was the one who was allowed to "stand over there " as a non believer. His identity discs had no religion marked on them, which got him a lot of grief from certain Officers. He got a letter written up by the unit Chaplin, excusing him from any religious services, which I found in his service records when I was doing research on his war experiences.
 
Rose65 said:
Love is a powerful thing and is said to overcome all. It gets me thinking about those who are of different religious beliefs and how it doesn't perhaps matter at first but likely becomes more important as time goes by. Matters such as which faith to bring children into. Even at the beginning could be the hurdle of where to hold the wedding.

Love and accepting each others beliefs is the way to a peaceful successful marriage but can certainly undoubtedly pose a challenge if one or both have a strong faith in whichever religion.
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I suppose it becomes a problem if the couple is immature or one of them is domineering.

My dad's religion was Catholic and my mom's was Judaism. They adored each other and their kids, and respected each other's religious beliefs. Religion was never a bone of contention for my parents, but dad had to get after some of our relatives for arguing about it during a few family gatherings.

I remember a big blow up at my mom's baby shower, when she was pregnant with my younger brother. Some relatives thought it was harmful for us kids to attend church with gramma (dad's mother) and then *have to* go to synagogue with mom.

It wasn't.
 
The shallower each person's understanding of and indoctrination of dogmas are between two people with different religions, the more likely they may learn to live harmoniously together. And the reverse of being deeply religious so is also true of how such may more likely lead to issues and divorce. Most ordinary well-meaning Christians in particular regardless of denomination and churches are much more similar than zealots preaching division to different factions.
 
Despite some ignorant comments I've seen on this forum about Muslims hating Christians and Jewish people, what they don't realize is that Muslims can (and do) marry outside of our faith. It is recommended that women marry Muslim men because the man is supposed to be the spiritual leader and provider fo the family. The thought is that a Muslim woman who marries outside our faith may be influenced to leave the faith.

Muslim men, though not encouraged to marry outside of our faith, are permitted to do so. I believe my husband would have still married me had I not accepted Islam. We discussed it early on and I told him I was studying Islam and wouldn't do it because he wanted me to, but when (and if) I felt in my heart it was the right time. I know the exact moment that time came. I was at my uncle's Christian funeral.

I have a cousin who married a Catholic. Most of our family are Methodists. that's how she was raised. They got married in a Catholic church and I'm not sure she converted to Catholicism. I think couples should discuss their religious differences and how those differences could affect their marriage and children, if they plan to have them. Some couples celebrate their differences and keep open minds about which paths their children will take.
 
This very famous photo has circulated on the Net for years. Most recently it has been mis-identified as an Irish couple buried in separate cementeries due to their different religions.
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The photo is real, but it was NOT Ireland - it was Roermond, Netherlands. The husband, Jacobus Warnerus Constantinus van Gorkum, died in 1880, and was buried in the Protestant section of the cemetery. His wife, Josephine van Aefferden, passed away in 1888, but could not be buried with him due to the religious segregation in the cemetery at that time. Although the wall divides their graves, they are nonetheless in the same cemetery, but in separate sections.
 
I have family members who are of mixed religions. She is a Catholic Filipina (sister-in-law to my hubby) and he is a Hindu South Indian. They had a beautiful dual wedding many years ago, first a Catholic wedding inside the church and later a beautiful Hindu ceremony out by the lake. At the reception they played mostly Bollywood-type dance tunes and people were worn out from dancing so much.

They are both super successful in the medical field. Her parents didn't approve of him at all in the beginning, but as it turns out she and their gay son are the only ones of their 4 grown children that aren't divorced. They have 2 beautiful kids and have been married for well over 20 years. Their gay Filipino son is also in the medical field and has been with his White partner for over 30 years.

Oddly, it was the two siblings who married within the same religion that didn't make it. 🤷‍♂️
 
seadoug said:
I have family members who are of mixed religions. She is a Catholic Filipina (sister-in-law to my hubby) and he is a Hindu South Indian. They had a beautiful dual wedding many years ago, first a Catholic wedding inside the church and later a beautiful Hindu ceremony out by the lake. At the reception they played mostly Bollywood-type dance tunes and people were worn out from dancing so much.

They are both super successful in the medical field. Her parents didn't approve of him at all in the beginning, but as it turns out she and their gay son are the only ones of their 4 grown children that aren't divorced. They have 2 beautiful kids and have been married for well over 20 years. Their gay Filipino son is also in the medical field and has been with his White partner for over 30 years.

Oddly, it was the two siblings who married within the same religion that didn't make it. 🤷‍♂️
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Those Indians know how to celebrate weddings! Just fabulous! If you can ever find it, check out Monsoon Wedding. I loved that movie and saw it twice. I've mentioned it in another thread, I have an (east) Indian ancestor on my maternal grandmother's side.
 
@OneEyedDiva, I hope you don't mind me asking this, but is it true that leaving Islam, or apostasy, is considered a serious offence and can result in punishment such as death, imprisonment, or confiscation of property?

There is so much $hit out there on the internet, that I would rather ask someone in the faith.
Many thanks for considering my request.
 
There was an explosion to equal the A-bomb when I married my late husband. I was Protestant and he was, by then, a lapsed-Catholic from a Catholic family that sat on the right side of the Pope. Of the 11 kids, he was the one that they were "giving" to the church and he spent eight years studying to be a priest before leaving before his final vows.

I didn't meet him until after that, but I got blamed for the whole thing. His family hoped that when he got out of the Army, he'd "come to his senses" and finish training for the priesthood. His mother referred to me for quite a while as "The Wh0re of Babylon".....I didn't meet her for five years but in time we came to be civil to each other.

The last time he saw his mother was the day before our wedding and she said, "I'd rather be standing over your coffin. I'd rather see you dead and buried than marrying that girl!" Can you imagine a mother saying that? I can't.

The odd thing is that all of us girls married Catholics and all of my sister-in-law's kids married Protestants. Go figure.
 
Capt Lightning said:
I came from a culture where the greatest 'sin' would be to marry a catholic. We had plenty of catholic friends and that was fine, but marriage was a different matter. The daughter of a near neighbour was disowned for marrying a catholic and although they had a happy marriage, they were never allowed back inside her parents house.

I'm glad to have never found myself involved in these situations. I'd just love to see religion banished - it might solve a lot of problems.
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My parents were of different faiths. my mother a Catholic raised by Nuns, my father a protestant.

In the early days of their marriage, very early.. everything had gone wrong to the point where my mother wanted out. She told my father that in the eyes of God she wasn't married to him because they'd married in a registry office ... that was her belief...

The father ( and this was his want with everything )... put pen to paper and wrote to the Pope at the vatican seeking answers to this... he never thought that he would not get replies to anyone he wrote to.. and this was no different.

Some time later he opened the door to 2 high ranking bishops in our city.. they'd had direct communication from the Vatican to come and talk with my parents.

My mother nearly fainted, it was like the Lord himself had walked into her livingroom...

Unfortunately for her.. they explained to her that because she'd taken vows to God..regardless of where, she was in fact married in the name and eyes of the Lord...

She was devastated !... it was all downhill from there
 
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Tish said:
@OneEyedDiva, I hope you don't mind me asking this, but is it true that leaving Islam, or apostasy, is considered a serious offence and can result in punishment such as death, imprisonment, or confiscation of property?

There is so much $hit out there on the internet, that I would rather ask someone in the faith.
Many thanks for considering my request.
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I had never heard of death as a punishment but I did look at a couple of Islamic sites for the answer. As I suspected, it depends on where the person lives and who are the governing bodies. One site also claims that those who were killed were found to be spies, thus traitors who pretended to observe Islam.

Here is a more comprehensive answer from a trusted Islamic site. It states that the Holy Quran does not mention killing those who commit apostacy but instead mentions freedom to choose whether to remain a Muslim or to leave Islam.
Is it true that if a Muslim leaves or denounces his faith in Islam he will be killed?
 
OneEyedDiva said:
I had never heard of death as a punishment but I did look at a couple of Islamic sites for the answer. As I suspected, it depends on where the person lives and who are the governing bodies. One site also claims that those who were killed were found to be spies, thus traitors who pretended to observe Islam.

Here is a more comprehensive answer from a trusted Islamic site. It states that the Holy Quran does not mention killing those who commit apostacy but instead mentions freedom to choose whether to remain a Muslim or to leave Islam.
Is it true that if a Muslim leaves or denounces his faith in Islam he will be killed?
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Thank you so much. 🤗

I have bookmarked the site for further research.
 
It's terrible how families/friends get so involved in religious feelings.
I am Christian, and I believe strongly but i don't go around making a big deal about it. I don't appreciate when others force their beliefs at me in condemnation, and I really do respect everyone's beliefs. Would have no trouble living with someone of a different faith, as long as I knew their family won't come to the door with a gun or something.

In my life I've learned it's totally a personal thing. Went to a church for a year and a half, and I want no more of it.
Many Christians are very shallow towards other religions, I my opinion they all are close enough in their beliefs and values to be acceptable. Made the mistake of mentioning that in the church, I learned a lot of very staunch beliefs that day!

There is a spark of the Divine in everyone, in every belief system, we should celebrate similarities.
 
Rose65 said:
Love is a powerful thing and is said to overcome all. It gets me thinking about those who are of different religious beliefs and how it doesn't perhaps matter at first but likely becomes more important as time goes by. Matters such as which faith to bring children into. Even at the beginning could be the hurdle of where to hold the wedding.

Love and accepting each others beliefs is the way to a peaceful successful marriage but can certainly undoubtedly pose a challenge if one or both have a strong faith in whichever religion.
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Not easy. Children born to a Jewish mother are Jewish. Children born to a Moslem father are Moslem. So if the parents are of mixed religion = trouble. There may be some rule-bending but that’s the basics of it.

I met a woman in El Oued in Algeria many, many years ago, and we hit it off. Eventually, when it seemed that it might get serious she informed me that I would be compelled to convert to Islam because Moslem women are forbidden to marry a non-Moslem man. The reason for that I've already explained. That was the end of that.

On another occasion I met an American girl in Tunisia. She was working for (I don’t remember) the Peace Corps or whatever it was called. Anyway, she had become engaged to a Tunisian boy. She, by the way, was Jewish and he a Moslem. I met her at a cafe over a cup of mint tea and then I was gone so I don’t know how that ended …… or began, but I’m sure she was heading for a rough time.
 
Before we married, my wife was Methodist and I was Episcopalian. We had 2 wedding ceremonies during main ceremony. After we started having children, I was given permission by the church to switch to Methodist.

Now that the Methodists have broken up, our church has become an independent, although we have stayed with the values of the original Methodists that John Wesley began using when he founded the Methodist church.

It cost the church “X” amount of dollars to leave the United Methodists, but it had to be done. It’s still being fought today because the UMC has put such large price tags on some of the churches that decided to leave the UMC. I think the charge to leave the UMC was dependent on the size of the congregation.
 
In my Christian faith, which I do not consider to be restricted to any one denomination, I put a lot of stock in the scripture “Do not be unequally yoked”. This is not a prohibition, but rather a warning to prevent a lot of disharmony. And we are commanded to stay in our marriage except for adultery by one’s spouse. Also, I personally believe that no spouse should be subject to physical abuse.

There are also scriptures concerning only one of the married to coming into the faith. The believing spouse is not to leave the other, but if the unbelieving choose to dissolve the marriage the marriage can be dissolved.
 
It really comes down to how strongly each person holds onto their beliefs and whether they're willing to be open-minded and respectful of their partner's faith. As long as there's a foundation of love, compromise, and a commitment to raising any children in a way that respects both religions, I think it's very possible for an interfaith marriage to work. But you're right that it takes a lot of effort and understanding on both sides. The most important thing is that the couple is on the same page and feels supported, regardless of what their extended families think.
 
This is all very tribal. It is perfectly possible for people of different faiths to live together. You just need to make some sort of agreement beforehand. I'm Protestant and married a Catholic. I had intended to become a Catholic but changed my mind when I learned more about it. Our children are Catholic but have benefited from having me as their mother as I have a much more broad-minded attitude when it comes to religion.
 
The reason religions make such a stink about marrying outside one's religion is because of another religions influence over the other. To keep one's religion pure and to advert possible leaving of one's religion.

Religion is a business, the more followers, the stronger the business and its influence over society. Religion is not about faith although collective faith-based worshiping is called a religion.

I have no use for religion.
 

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