Men Who Do These 11 Things Are Not Husband Material...

David777

David777

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Agreed with the below web page listing 11 behaviors that plenty of younger adult men have to various degrees. That webpage expands a bit on each terse title issue. Some of these are habit forming, psychological defensive mechanisms that dominating emotional personalities of either gender may develop. It reflects beyond the issues listed, how significant numbers of adults have mediocre social intelligence, they themselves are not introspectively aware of. Some live and learn over time, especially those that enter large professional corporate environments, while others more isolated within social realms they live within or obstinate, may never.

Men Who Do These 11 Things Are Not Husband Material, No Matter How Nice They Seem
  • Avoids Tough Conversations and Shuts Down Emotionally
  • Never Takes Accountability or Apologizes Sincerely
  • Inconsistent Effort – Great in Public, Low-Key at Home
  • Can’t Keep Commitments or Promises
  • Still Tied to Mom’s Apron Strings
  • Blames Everyone Else for His Problems
  • Addictive Behaviors He Won’t Address
  • All Talk, No Action on Future Plans
  • Disrespectful or Passive-Aggressive Humor
  • Comfort Over Growth
  • Cheats or Has a History of Infidelity
 

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David777 said:
Agreed with the below web page listing 11 behaviors that plenty of younger adult men have to various degrees. That webpage expands a bit on each issue. Some of these are habit forming, psychological defensive mechanisms that dominating emotional personalities of either gender may develop. It reflects beyond the issues listed, how significant numbers of adults have mediocre social intelligence, they themselves are not introspectively aware of. Some live and learn over time, especially those that enter large professional corporate environments, while others more isolated within social realms they live within or obstinate, may never.

Men Who Do These 11 Things Are Not Husband Material, No Matter How Nice They Seem
  • Avoids Tough Conversations and Shuts Down Emotionally
  • Never Takes Accountability or Apologizes Sincerely
  • Inconsistent Effort – Great in Public, Low-Key at Home
  • Can’t Keep Commitments or Promises
  • Still Tied to Mom’s Apron Strings
  • Blames Everyone Else for His Problems
  • Addictive Behaviors He Won’t Address
  • All Talk, No Action on Future Plans
  • Disrespectful or Passive-Aggressive Humor
  • Comfort Over Growth
  • Cheats or Has a History of Infidelity
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I do agree, but all of these behaviors can occur in women too. If you look around, you'll notice this.
 

With maturity, some men will overcome some of those negative traits on the list (like "still Tied to Mom’s Apron Strings"), while some of the other traits are much more serious - like "Can’t Keep Commitments or Promises.") Those are signs of inherent flaws. People can and do make mistakes, but if it's just not in them to keep commitments or promises, they are not marriage material.
 
MACKTEXAS said:
With maturity, some men will overcome some of those negative traits on the list (like "still Tied to Mom’s Apron Strings"), while some of the other traits are much more serious - like "Can’t Keep Commitments or Promises.") Those are signs of inherent flaws. People can and do make mistakes, but if it's just not in them to keep commitments or promises, they are not marriage material.
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Yes it depends on the age and willingness to change. I once saw a marriage counselling video called 'Don't let your inlaws become outlaws' and they had an example of a guy who first went to mom after work to eat her meal and then he could hardly eat what his wife had made, but it was a young guy and they went for help. A lot of these just moved to another state to get rid of the control. Leave and cleave.
 
MountainRa said:
They should add another one — Is not financial literate and cannot manage money. .
Goes for husbands, wives, partners, and significant others.
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Fiscal prudence, how many rashly flash their credit card in the run up to Christmas, then, in January, when the statement arrives, they say: "How much?"
 
David777 said:
Addictive Behaviors He Won’t Address
Cheats or Has a History of Infidelity
Click to expand...
At work, before retirement, it surprised me how many thought that watching porn was okay. When I argued that it was still cheating, it got me accused of being fuddy-duddy, I guess that meant straightlaced. It would distress me if a relative of mine did porn, so I put that to my detractors. "How would you feel if it was your sister?" There was lots of looking down and "yeah buts," however it was evident that I had struck a raw nerve. One young fellow actually said to me later, "Your comment made me think." "Good for you, I told him.
 
I doubt many women getting married i n the last half century or more have vowed to obey - and that includes church weddings.

I agree all the listed things are poor traits in both men and women - except not neccesarily "comfort over growth" - I think that is more a matter of both people being oin same page rather than inherently bad
 
smiley said:
if yours was a religious marriage ?- isn't the wife supposed to obey her husband and of course the husband take good care of her??
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Oh boy... I had an exchange with the Church piano player, seemed like a nice older lady, when I mentioned this on Facebook some ten years ago. We mildly argued a bit there, it ended with me saying "so, you think the book of Ephesians should be stricken from the Bible?"

My daughter questioned that book when we were doing homework one day, her mom was at work.
She said "mommy never read this, did she?"... about wives submitting to their husbands. I started laughing... then I told her that society has bypassed the good book in many ways nowadays.

My mom has taught her well about the power of feminism, so she's different now. She gets on rants about destroying the patriarchy! ... so dad (me) has learned when it comes to this subject, I just shut the efff up. There are no answers, nor does it do any good to talk about it. People take that subject too harshly, it is meant to be in a milder form than how it is displayed now. But the will to understand is obsolete now. 🤷‍♂️ 😊
 
January said:
I doubt many women getting married i n the last half century or more have vowed to obey - and that includes church weddings.
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All the wedding vows are read to the couple; not the bride only. Non-denominational churches and ordained ministers will allow a couple to write their own vows. Nothing wrong with that. Marriage is a legal matter, imo.
January said:
I agree all the listed things are poor traits in both men and women - except not neccesarily "comfort over growth" - I think that is more a matter of both people being oin same page rather than inherently bad
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I see that as a sign of being spoiled or an inability to grow up. Or both.

Kind of off-topic, but that reminds me of a couple I've known for a long time; my cousin and his wife. He's never wanted her to experience any form of personal growth whatsoever. Throughout their marriage, he always came up with some excuse to keep her from going to college, then it was a career college, then skills training. He talked her out of joining clubs, quilting bees, and a gym...a ladies-only gym, no less. I think it was called a figure salon. Maybe that's what scared him.

That was all due to his insecurity, right?

They're in their late 60s now, and just getting by. He lost a very good job when he was 54, and couldn't land another one. Who's gonna hire a very overweight, loud, pushy 54yr-old dude, except maybe a Walmart in need of a part-time door monitor, but only if they had someone to occasionally remind him to dial it back a few notches. And his overly humble, unskilled wife lacked the confidence to pursue any sort of employment. They lived with their son until he finally qualified for disability benefits based on his weight, diabetes, and restricted breathing. Now he gets regular soc-sec and they live in a low-income mobile home park, where he bellows every time she wants to go out for a walk. (she does it anyway)
 
Murmur I wasn't saying anything was wrong with it - quite the reverse in fact. I dont think either party owes obedience to the other.
My post was i n response to this statement " if yours was a religious marriage ?- isn't the wife supposed to obey her husband and of course the husband take good care of her??" - replying to say no, not in the last 50 years or so it hasn't been for nearly everyone

Re growth over comfort - I think it depends. but the terms are vague too so depends what is meant by them too.
 
my first wife and I got married in a small village church - the minister chided us saying "I've never seen you before attending the church but now you want to use it?" - true - he obliged anyway. The point being that it doesn't seem to matter if we believe in what's written about marriage vows in the bible - although we may still on that one occasion 'accept' them just to have that 'romantic' marriage in a church. bit of a con game really.

My wife and I would discuss many things including how to spend money - but I was making much more than she ? - but when it came to purchasing items say in a furniture store - she would always defer to me and let me finalize the purchase!
 
smiley said:
there were always a few good men!!
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I think the majority is good. If he has no job, no intention to get one and he is on drugs and lets you take care of him financially plus clean everything up after him, you do have to look at yourself and ask yourself what's wrong with you that you went for him. He was so chill. Yes of course he was chill. I'd be chill too if I could dump the whole responsibility on someone else. I talked to a man on a dating site who had the opposite. He cleaned everything spotless. Saw it on the pic. He worked and got the money in. Both his exes took advantage, did nothing and cheated on him as a thank you.
 
January said:
but even in church weddings or 'religious marriages' hardly anybody would vow to obey now - those vows haven't been used in hardly any churches for 50 + years
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And since a wife cannot know on her wedding day what a husband may one day require of her in the form of obedience, keeping that vow opens the door for her to follow acts contrary to decency and against the very Bible she is attempting to follow.
 

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