Minding Your Own Business!

Well, I would like to mind just my only business, but being a former state trooper, a lot of people think that if they tell me their problems, I can solve them or give them ideas how best to resolve their issues. I have heard everything from the landlord does this and that to what can I do about the neighbor's dog or the neighbor burning trash or a zillion other issues.

I am not a legal authority on civil matters. I tell them it's best to contact their attorney, but they don't want to because it will cost them money. I don't give advice on legal issues I don't now anything about. That's always a bad idea.
 
As a mom, always giving instructions and advice to my kids, it's tough to get out of that habit and I certainly have not stopped that completely. I still advise them as much as I think I can or should.

As a former teacher, OMG, I am on automatic instruction mode in most arenas of life. I consciously have to shush myself. If people want my input or advice, I'm happy to give it. But because I don't want to appear to be critical or condemning when I'm just trying to share what I have learned, I often shut myself up.

It's ironic, many times in my life, oh my God, how I wished people would give me helpful, not deceitful, advice. How I wish they would talk to me and tell me the things I am not seeing about a situation. But because this MYOB attitude is dominant where I live, people just let people drive off cliffs.

I have often told major newspapers they should not just report on things that have happened - they should also warn people about what they see ahead. Some news outlets do this, occasionally. Not many.

What really changed that was the Pandemic, ironically. There was a ton of forward-thinking, cautionary reporting on ways to keep yourself safe, on food banks, medical care, masking, air purifiers, hand washing, government aid ahead, how to deal with online schooling, etc.

But, back to normal now, news outlets are no longer warning about future trends on much of anything, EXCEPT elections. They also rarely report in any government aid people might be eligible for.

Anyway, I think so many people have adopted this "MYOB" way of life that they don't look out for others, so I try to do that too because that is the culture I'm in.

I don't think I'm a True Blue MYOB American. I think I'm secretly Canadian or Danish and my grandparents made a terrible immigration mistake by moving to the U.S. ;) I'm joking, but I do wonder if my life would have been better if I'd been born in the Old Country.
 
PeppermintPatty said:
How good are you at minding your own business?

Do you try to meddle in other people’s affairs even if they haven’t asked for advice?
Click to expand...
I'm very good about minding my own business. I respect other people's privacy and have no desire to ask invasive questions about them, their families, finances, etc. I'm not one to ask a lot of questions, if they want to share something that is fine.

If someone has been talking with me and asks my opinion on a problem they may be having, I have, and had in the past, given them my sincere advice and shared my point of view. Many people, men and women, over the years have come to me for advice, and I give it honestly.

Not a busybody here, lol.
 
It's one thing if we're focusing on adults & not children during the years we're involved with raising them. I learned a long time ago that with people in their 20s & older, I should only give advice or share opinion if it's asked for. And snooping into other people's lives doesn't interest me.

Also, I'm referring to in-person situations. On forum like this one, we have a lot of discussion topics and the attitude seems to be that members' opinions are generally of interest... explicitly or implicitly requested.

I can appreciate what 911 posted above. If I have little or no experience in some area, I don't like to pitch in on it.
 
Last edited:
SeaBreeze said:
I'm very good about minding my own business. I respect other people's privacy and have no desire to ask invasive questions about them, their families, finances, etc. I'm not one to ask a lot of questions, if they want to share something that is fine.

If someone has been talking with me and asks my opinion on a problem they may be having, I have, and had in the past, given them my sincere advice and shared my point of view. Many people, men and women, over the years have come to me for advice, and I give it honestly.

Not a busybody here, lol.
Click to expand...
I wish I could honestly say I mind my own business but I don’t . If someone is near our house, I want to know why. Thats probably a good thing though.

I ask members questions because I’m genuinely interested and / or because I don’t want to come across as overly self indulgent.

Years ago I used to jump into threads and try and be a hero if I saw somebody getting picked on but I don’t really do that any more.

Some questions people ask deserve a questionable response. I try and mind my own business, for the most part but unfortunately I don’t always succeed.

I asked the question in relationship to being on forums.

Recently I’ve come to discover that my mind and my body aren’t always in unison. If I’m doing or saying something and I’ve get a physical sinking feeling, that’s my intuition giving me a nudge. In my 60’s I’m finally starting to listen to it. Our inner self knows us better than our ego self. Ego self always wants to compete and compare. I’m trying to pay no heed to it.
 
VintageBetter said:
this MYOB attitude is dominant where I live, people just let people drive off cliffs.
Click to expand...
VintageBetter said:
I think so many people have adopted this "MYOB" way of life that they don't look out for others,
Click to expand...
Same here. But I have given up on giving advice, even if I'm asked for it. I've gotten burned too many times. Now I just watch the driving off cliffs which is depressing but getting my head bitten off for caring was even more depressing.
 
officerripley said:
Same here. But I have given up on giving advice, even if I'm asked for it. I've gotten burned too many times. Now I just watch the driving off cliffs which is depressing but getting my head bitten off for caring was even more depressing.
Click to expand...
Exactly. I get where you’re coming from.
It reminds me of a phase ‘ A good deed never goes unpunished.’ ;)
 
VintageBetter said:
It's ironic, many times in my life, oh my God, how I wished people would give me helpful, not deceitful, advice. How I wish they would talk to me and tell me the things I am not seeing about a situation. But because this MYOB attitude is dominant where I live, people just let people drive off cliffs.
Click to expand...
We have a sizable group of good friends. Among our close friends, there is an openness. But we know how to avoid prying into each other's lives. In an important situation where some info could help (and there's a "green light") we provide it (from our own experience, not posing as an expert).

Then there are people one sorta knows, but not well. In my larger social sphere beyond close friends, intuition comes into play. I've learned to sense when someone is open & may want advice. Still, then, I'll be careful & a little tentative before I spell out my knowledge, even more so with an opinion.
 
Last edited:
One of the things I notice so many members of the other generations do is use social media for SPYING on people. They won't sit down and talk to them, like we might in the Olden Days. Nope. If they meet a new person at work or school and are curious about them, immediately they go hunting for any and all social media profiles and postings.

Whatever happened to talking to one another?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top