Missed Romantic Opportunities Of Youth

dilettante

dilettante

Well-known Member
Location
Michigan
I'm thinking of early days, say childhood through early adulthood. Nothing nasty, just brief stories of "more than friendships" that passed you by. I'm sure that when we think back we've had lots of these that aren't, er, graphic. Some were simply potential opportunities with no real substance.


One of the latter for me was Becky V. We had a lot of "Beckys" so in my head I have to use the last name.

In high school this Becky V. was a year behind me, but we'd shared a few classes. I don't recall the details, but we were more aware of each other than most classes mixed for whatever reason. Maybe she had also attended the same junior high school I had? Such cohorts tended to clump, since a lot of junior highs had once been high schools and were neighborhood-centered and still held tight strong traditions of the past. For high school we all got divvied up and bussed all over town for integration.

Becky V. was what my parents' generation would call a "fast girl" at least on paper. A lot of makeup, severe hairstyle, short skirts, and sharp tongue. I have the idea that she may have been raised by her Dad. In any case we'd never be a couple. I was more the rumpled nerd with no money to spend and her tone toward me had always been dismissive.

Several years after high school I was off in another town for college, struggling to pay my way. Scholarships and grants were drying up, and po' folks hard a hard time getting school loans in those days.

As it happened Becky V. was the daughter of Mr. V., my high school Physics teacher. During a phone call to my mother she had weird news for me. It seems that Mr. V. had run into her somewhere, I not sure how or why because they didn't know each other. She told me that he wanted to know what I was doing, and maybe could they "get us together" because "Becky needed somebody stable." All I could do was laugh. Financially I was hanging by a thread, and Becky V. had never been interested in me.

Or... was I always wrong about that? Us guys can be pretty dim about such things.


So now that you've had a good laugh, maybe you'd be willing to share stories of your own? I have a couple more if you need somebody to giggle and point at.
 

Well, when I was six, I fell in love with a cute 7 year old Devonshire lad. He was a regular visitor to my Aunt’s home and always got wind of when I was going down there to spend time with her. He’d wait in the garden until I arrived and had a bundle of things he had to show me… we’d walk down the lane hand in hand chatting and stopping to look at anything that held our interest.

We grew up and went on to do different things… he became a well know author in the UK and we are still friends and still chat over the phone and meet now and then.
 
Thanks Jamala. That was a great story. Do you consider that a missed opportunity, or do you feel everything worked out well for the two of you?
 

Here it was my cousin Sandi we were as one literally, a team of 2, we worked together later on we both ran the night shift at my uncle's cotton gin after our parents said ok which took awhile to do my uncle talked them into it, there was not much we did not do together, made good grades in school and never got into much trouble at all, we saved our money earned and bought 2 new 4x4 Ford pickups at the same time same day, Later on I went to the Army she turned to drugs I hate to say and died from that, one reason I am so anti drug still today.

My mother was worried we would marry and probably would have done so, I still visit her grave weekly now, almost every week. I fish here locally almost every week and stop on the way back. So it will be A Tuesday visit this week. With a fishing report given.
We fished, rode horses, shot, hunted and stayed outside most of the times. I wished I was still around her very much.
Her father was my uncle's gin manager. I was named after her father, "Wayne middle name."

All I got here! Locals referred to us as the kids on horses, one time we got caught in a funeral on horses and made the front of the small rural local paper here from it. Another time we had dad's boat and caught a skin diver looking for tackle to salvage. We pulled him to the surface! WE got tired of getting snagged so we tool my uncle Han's saltwater rigs as we fished for large fish mostly and just reeled him up! 6' braided stainless steel cable wire leaders. We used wire leaders to the hooks. He said he tried to cut himself loose but could not do so. A large treble hook in the calf of his leg he said taught him a painful lesson.
 
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Ok, here's another one.

In the 6th grade we moved. New school, and it was tough to make friends at first since most of the kids had already been together for years. But for whatever reason, one day this girl G. and I started walking home from school together each day. I can still remember the corner where we split each day. She went left, I went right, and the house on the corner had a massive garden of colorful tulips in the Spring. I think I knew roughly which house was hers, but never went there so I have no idea precisely which one. I lived many blocks further on.

In junior high I saw her now and then, but just passing in the halls. I wasn't sure why at the time, but we never had any classes together. That was especially odd since they tended to clump us by last name and hers was close to mine in the alphabet. I came to realize decades later this was "tracking." I was marked "academic" and she was not.

Despite bussing breaking most of our junior high class up and scattering us, as luck would have it we both ended up in the same high school. However pretty much the same thing continued there. She had a best friend S. who was in some of my classes though. S. was a sort of a "Peppermint Patty" sporty gal and on the girl's softball team with G. but she did have decent grades too. On a few occasions she told me that G. had asked about me. I didn't know what to make of it, much less what to do about it.

I really didn't see much of G. until the very last school day Senior year. Since a lot of kids either didn't show up or had cars by then, or whatever... the bus ride home was pretty empty.

G. sat down in the seat across from me, didn't say anything, but sat sideways with her legs on the seat toward the aisle. Every so often she kind of pointed her toes my way. She was wearing jeans and those light canvas sneakers with the rubber soles and laced through 3 or 4 rows of eyelets. No idea what they're called.

Her stop came, she got off, and I never saw her again.

Decades later I found out she married a guy who worked for her father at the gravel pit. Eventually after her Dad retired he took over running the place. He died about a decade ago now.

I hadn't thought about this and started checking until an old song came on the radio.


Suddenly the memories and a few tears welled up.
 
Victor said:
Unrequited love sucks awful.
Click to expand...
I don't disagree. But in my stories above was I the "unreqiutor" in those scenarios? To this day I'm just not sure.

In the one case, there might have been "something there" that I never had realized. Perhaps later on when her Dad tried to make a move to get us together it was her idea and not his? I'll never know at this late date, but I was lot more clueless back then. The other case was different, but I was clueless how or whether to act. I was dumb and shy and trapped in a cycle of inexperience.

I wasn't trying to hurt anyone, if anything I was probably overcautiously trying to keep from being hurt. I grew out of that but it took a few more years. I was just a dweeb, but things must be a lot tougher in today's climate around one-on-one social engagement.
 
When I was a junior in high school, there was a young gentleman, a senior, who was interested in me. He would come by my house to see me and I'd hide out in my room. My mom was very impressed with him and would say, "He's such a nice young man.....why don't you give him a chance?"

Why wouldn't I give him a chance? Because he was going to "mortuary college" after graduation and then going to work for his uncle, who owned a chain of funeral homes in our city. That turned me off so much that I couldn't stand having him look at me......I wondered if he was measuring me for a shroud...LOL. Well, I said I was a teenage girl, didn't I? Shallow, I was.

I look back now and figure he probably made a LOT of money over the years, being in the funeral business. I know he inherited his uncle's business, so I COULD'VE BEEN RICH!!! RICH!!!
 
Writing these stories requires a fairly large post. I was actively dating girls from 8th grade on. I was not one to stick with a girl very long, but I thought I loved each one of them at the time I was seeing them (I had no clue). Sometimes they would move on, and sometimes I moved on.

To keep this short I am just going to mention names that I recall. 7th grade-Naomi, 8th grade-Kathy and later Cheryl, 9th grade -Linda and later Gretchen 10th grade - still Gretchen, then Donna and then Sue, 11th grade-Barbara and then Christie, and that summer back with Gretchen, my Senior year I pledged to date as many different girls as I could and never to date them more than once. I was going out of state for college, so I did not want to be stuck on some girl back home.

I honestly cannot recall the names, but I had a lot of fun with some really nice girls my senior year. I met my wife in college, and we are working on 53years together.... I guess I learned what I liked in high school and found her in college...

Writing stories about this would be way to long... let's just say I did enjoy high school.
 
I had a crush on a redhead boy, all the way through junior & senior high. He didn't seem to be the "dating kind". I'd given up on him, and had a British boyfriend that was a serious relationship, when .. yep .. redhead boy called and wanted to take me to a house party. Being the devoted type, I told him I couldn't, and the reason why.

Now and then, I wonder how it would have gone if I'd accompanied him to that party, as the British guy and I moved on from one another, then, I moved from Vancouver to Toronto.

I did see the redhead, 2 yrs. later.I was on a visit home. My old school friends threw a party for me, and he showed up, briefly, to say hello.

I still think of him sometimes, as he was my only crush all the way through Jr. and Sr.
high.
 
Had a girlfriend whose classmate had an eye for me.
When the girlfriend and I broke up, she mentioned the classmate.

The classmate and I dated off and on for several months but my heart just wasn't in it.
The flame still burned for the old girlfriend and I just stopped seeing the classmate.

Fast forward another several months and after the girls had graduated.
I contacted the classmate again and found out she was engaged to be married.
I asked her out anyway and she accepted.

Thing was, I could call her any day of the week to go out ... even late Friday afternoons.
And she would call her fiance with an excuse for not going out with him ... and she would go out with me.
While I would call infrequently, it happened like that several times.
The fiance and I never met. I didn't know him. I had no idea about their relationship. That was never discussed.
But I figured if she would do that to him, what would she do to me if I got serious about her?

She didn't marry that guy after all. She ended up marrying a former classmate of mine.
As far as I know, they've been married since.

From time to time I wonder what might could have been with that girl that thought I was the bomb diggity :ROFLMAO:
... for a time anyway.
 
When I was in my twenties, there was a guy I met through work. He'd come into town in the late afternoon to take an order, and then I'd close up shop, and we'd go out to dinner. At the time, we were both involved with other people, but that didn't stop us from liking each other and enjoying each other's company. He had a great personality, was interesting, intelligent, and very cute. We were both happy in our relationships, so I didn't drive myself crazy thinking “what if” about this guy. (In fact, I eventually married the guy I was already dating.) Although I think if we weren't involved with others, there could've definitely been something there. In fact, I'm sure of it.
 
Pinky said:
I had a crush on a redhead boy, all the way through junior & senior high. He didn't seem to be the "dating kind". I'd given up on him, and had a British boyfriend that was a serious relationship, when .. yep .. redhead boy called and wanted to take me to a house party. Being the devoted type, I told him I couldn't, and the reason why.

Now and then, I wonder how it would have gone if I'd accompanied him to that party, as the British guy and I moved on from one another, then, I moved from Vancouver to Toronto.

I did see the redhead, 2 yrs. later.I was on a visit home. My old school friends threw a party for me, and he showed up, briefly, to say hello.

I still think of him sometimes, as he was my only crush all the way through Jr. and Sr.
high.
Click to expand...
Never to late to look him up, you only live once...
 
I had a girlfriend in high school for 3 years and a girlfriend in college for 2 years. I came out as gay later in college so I don't consider either a missed romantic opportunity. Both were better off after all is said and done. My girlfriend from high school and I are still close, still keep in touch and occasionally send each other old songs that jog memories. She's happily married now and so am I.

I lived with a gay partner for 1 year and a gay partner for 6 years and broke it off with both. One was a jealous nightmare and the other was simply too young and immature, but he was a really sweet guy so we remained friends for a long time.

There was one guy that I dated who was a stage actor. We had great chemistry and an emotional connection, but he lived in NYC and I lived in Miami and he simply wasn't willing to give up his acting career to move to Miami so we had an amicable split. We still keep in touch after over 30 years, and sometimes I wonder how it would have worked out. But I've been with my current partner for 32 years this month so I don't give it much thought. No regrets.
 
Wayne said:
Here it was my cousin Sandi we were as one literally, a team of 2, we worked together later on we both ran the night shift at my uncle's cotton gin after our parents said ok which took awhile to do my uncle talked them into it, there was not much we did not do together, made good grades in school and never got into much trouble at all, we saved our money earned and bought 2 new 4x4 Ford pickups at the same time same day, Later on I went to the Army she turned to drugs I hate to say and died from that, one reason I am so anti drug still today.

My mother was worried we would marry and probably would have done so, I still visit her grave weekly now, almost every week. I fish here locally almost every week and stop on the way back. So it will be A Tuesday visit this week. With a fishing report given.
We fished, rode horses, shot, hunted and stayed outside most of the times. I wished I was still around her very much.
Her father was my uncle's gin manager. I was named after her father, "Wayne middle name."

All I got here! Locals referred to us as the kids on horses, one time we got caught in a funeral on horses and made the front of the small rural local paper here from it. Another time we had dad's boat and caught a skin diver looking for tackle to salvage. We pulled him to the surface! WE got tired of getting snagged so we tool my uncle Han's saltwater rigs as we fished for large fish mostly and just reeled him up! 6' braided stainless steel cable wire leaders. We used wire leaders to the hooks. He said he tried to cut himself loose but could not do so. A large treble hook in the calf of his leg he said taught him a painful lesson.
Click to expand...
The time frame here was from an early time for me the middle of the 3rd grade of school to after senior high school! Another words all through my school years!
 
So, I was dating a girl who had a delightful personality, great sense of humor, and we never fought. We just enjoyed being together and it was very intimate. Anyway, over the winter (Which was a bad one), she felt I didn't make enough effort to see her, even though I was working, so she broke up with me. I consider it mostly my fault.

A buddy of mine was moving to the city, and asked me to go with him, and I agreed. However, before leaving, she called and asked me to stop by, and I did. She took me to her room and put on our song, which was "Cherish", by the Association. I felt like she wanted me to stay, but she never said so.

I had already made plans, which I could have cancelled, but I didn't. I often wondered what would have happened if I had stayed, as she was my first love.
 
There were three guys I really thought for sure I'd marry between the ages of 18 to 20.

The first one I had gone with my senior year of high school and freshman year of college. He was older. We got engaged, ring and all, and had a wedding in the works. Three weeks before the wedding, he asked me to immediately run off and get married. I said no and he broke it off. On the day we were supposed to get married, he married a girl he had gotten pregnant (I was holding out for the wedding night....apparently she wasn't).

The second one was quite a bit older and was one of my college instructors so we had to sneak around dating. I was swept off my feet by his "sophistication" and he wanted to get married soon. Fortunately, for me, he realized that he really did like guys more than he liked gals BEFORE the nuptials so I dodged the bullet there.

The third one.....well....he was just a garden variety a$$hole and I would have figured that out sooner than later. It saved a divorce.

Thank God for unanswered prayers. Or maybe they WERE answered.... "NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! ARE YOU CRAZY?" is a perfectly good answer, y'know

Then I met "The One", we had two dates, got married and I had him for 38 years.
 

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