My Father Never Struck Me

fmdog44

fmdog44

Well-known Member
Location
Houston, Texas
I listen to some men talk about how their fathers would hit or whip them when they got out of hand and I keep silent because my dad never had to hit me or take a belt to me even though he did threaten a few times. I always saw him as a man working hard to keep our family safe and healthy. He knew right from wrong and was a very honest man in every way. For those reasons I always felt it my job not to create reasons for making family trouble. When I visited my friends homes as a kid I saw other fathers and was grateful I had the father I did. His approach was to teach me then just hope it sank in. He laid out the chore and I did them again because why create a problem for a man that I looked up to?
 

My father never struck me either, but my mother would "cut a switch" to help convince me to behave. :D My brother once commented that he thought a beating would have been easier to take than Daddy being disappointed in him.
 
My father spent his life giving me beatings..with anything he could get his hands on as well as his feet and fists.. he kicked me so hard over and over again in my back when I was 15 years old he shattered my coccyx .

The first beating I got that I remember was when I was 4 years old for chewing bubble gum and he threw me against the wall, and dragged me by the hair across the livingroom floor.. ( I was taken into the care of my grandmother after that)...but 2 years later returned to them so I could start school ..the beatings were almost daily apart from the occasions when i was removed into foster care several times until I was around 12 years old....after I was returned to them permanently the beatings got progressively worse..

I used to see my friends fathers who were kind and not angry all the time, and think I must have been adopted ( a child's way of justifying the beatings) because surely a real dad wouldn't do these things..
 

Hollydolly, I'm so sorry you had to endure all that. I can't imagine what it must have been like for you. I had a girlfriend who's Father hit her across the face with his hand and his ring ripped open her bottom lip. My Dad was the most caring, loving man I've ever known. He never raised his voice let alone hit me. Growing up my main goal in life was to please him because even at a very young age I knew I had someone special for a Dad. My mom was the same way.
 
Fmdog, my father spanked my brother sometimes, and my mom gave me a spanking when needed, but it was never excessive, nothing crazy, pants stayed on....more of a message. I have no bad memories and my parents were loving and not too strict. It sounds like you were a good son with a good dad, that's great, the way it should be.

Holly, I can't imagine what you went through and I'm so sorry you had to go back to him. Glad you're a survivor and turned out to be such a nice lady....hugs.
 
Dad just held our arms and gritted his teeth while saying…something.
Never struck us

Mom, she was given to slapping
I got good at bobbing and weaving, hence a very brief boxing career

At around 13 she came at me (not sure why), and began to raise her hand
I held her arms
Face to face
She struggled, unable to move
This lasted just a few moments
Then
We both began to laugh

She still maintained her hollering ability, but refrained from the slapping
Which, on both counts, may have some bearing on my deaf ear
 
Can is say thank you to all of you who reacted to my story with such kindness ...it was indeed a long time ago, but the emotional scars remain still very strongly....and to this day I still have problems from the results of the physical abuse.....I'm not going to say any more on the subject, except to say of course as you can imagine there's much more to tell, but after all these years, there's no point in telling it..

However, I'm just delighted for all of you who had a wonderful father who never abused you....

My husband never got smacked from his parents either nor disciplined in any way , yet he had a very dysfunctional relationship with them, for no reason that I can determine.

Strange isn't it?. I just can't understand how someone can have such a wonderful childhood, ( as he admits he had)...yet not want a relationship with his parents as an adult.
 
my father spanked me with his hand or belt from the age of 2 until 13. my mother never hit me but she did throw water in my face
 
Deucemoi said:
my mother never hit me but she did throw water in my face
Click to expand...

You were lucky Deuce.

I forget what I did or said now but I ticked off my mom somehow one day while she was ironing and she chunked the iron across the room at me......I was able to dodge the iron and whatever it was that I did or said to pi$$ her off I darn sure never did it again. ;)

iron.jpg
 
When my brother,sister and I were younger,our dad would use a belt to spank us when we got into trouble. It didn't help when one of the siblings would 'squeal' on the other.Our mom spanked us with her hand on our rear ends,it wasn't as bad as the belt. Sue
 
Growing up I was a little angel so there was never any need to discipline me. :rolleyes:

My father beating me had nothing to do with discipline. It had to do with which child was in reach when he lost control.
 
Both my parents hit me. With my father, he could whip off his belt and whip me as fast as lightning. He didn't care which end of the belt either. My mother would hit me with anything that came to hand, her shoe, a wet cloth - anything. This was mainly for 'answering back' - that was the trouble - they couldn't argue constructively - it was always they were right and I was wrong. It stopped one morning when mother hit me for some remark that I made and I raised my fist to her. She stopped dead in her tracks - she knew that by then I was bigger and stronger and she would get really hurt.

I don't hate them for hitting me, but I can't forgive the lack of understanding. It was simply easier to hit me than explain things.
 
My mom had a switch, yardstick or flyswatter at hand at all times. We weren't to go further away from home than where we could still hear the dinnerbell when she rang it. If she rang it and we didn't come home, she came looking for us.....and she was "loaded for bear". We'd get switched home, all the way.

All my dad had to do was start to unbuckle his belt and there was an instant attitude adjustment. I can only think of one instance when that belt was applied to me and that was when I threw a rock at him (and it hit him, too) one Father's Day. Don't ask.
 
My Mom disciplined with words and a sad look on her face. My Grandmother used a keen, little switch applied to my bare legs and she made me pick it myself from the forsythia bush in her backyard. If what I picked wasn't big enough, I was sent back to pick another. Sometimes it took me so long to chose the proper size, she would forget about my mischief and go on with her chores in which case I would just put the switch on the back porch step and quietly sneak away. There was always more pain in the picking and the anticipation of what was to come than the switching itself.

For my own children, my house slippers were of a 'mule' type that I could have off in a heartbeat and pop a little butt when i needed to get someone's attention.
 
Holly, I can't come up with any words that would help to heal you from those days gone by, except to always remind yourself that you survived and that you are loved by so many people today. Love has a way of healing emotional wounds, but can't do much for physical wounds. Much of how you healed yourself is none of my business, but I want you to know that I respect your ability to talk about it and that you didn't take a course of action to stop it that would have been even worse than the beatings. You may or may not believe that, but I have arrested people for killing their mom or dad because of being beaten, only to tell me that they should have done this or that instead of killing them, but now it's too late. I appreciate your candor. So many people that have gone through similar events cannot or won't speak about it. I wish you and anyone else that has faced that type of treatment the best there is in this life.

My Mom never struck me, oh, wait, that's not true. She did slap me across my mouth one time when I said something to our neighbor that was disrespectful. My Dad, OTOH, gave me one spanking and two single butt slaps. At least he always used his hand.
 
My father never struck me because my mother prevented him since all he did was totally ignore and criticize and discourage me at every opportunitty.
Seemed as if he considered me his mortal enemy and was hell bent on doing me psychological damage.
 
Mom and father spanked me with his hand or belt, not many times, Grandfather however used a razor strap, said he wanted to beat the devil out of me.
 
I had the belt and the switch..I got picked up one time and thrown across the room..all because I wanted to watch the last few minutes of "Big Valley"... Instead of washing the dishes...Do I hate my Daddy for it?..Well..NO I love my Daddy and I have great respect for him. Did I deserve it? Well I think so..took me years to understand it, but I get it....now.

When I was in third grade I ran away from school all because my moma wouldn't let me stay all night with a friend I had. So we both left at milk break and headed to her house. Good gosh almighty.. if one of my kids had done such I would have been livid, only for the worry of their well being. Would I have tried to bust their butt to make it sink in, that you can't do that?..Well yes!

Needless to say after that I got to go spend the night with her and we took a bubble bath in laundry detergent.....go figure... I still remember it to this very day. As well as the belt whippin' I got for leavin' school. I also remember being picked up by the "Principle" in his Volks Wagon and prayin' all the way back.
 

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