My friend committed suicide.

I can believe that mental illness is much like my breathing. I tell people if you have never felt this way you dont truly know how it feels, so dont try to tell me what it is like......those of us who struggled with some form of mental anguish, war, personal abuse, violence, accident can relate to how a person takes their own life. Maybe not know why but at least understand the pressures they felt.
 

feywon said:
So you're claiming some special insight into 'how things are' when actually you are just stating how you perceive them?
I, for one, don't worry about anyone's opinion unless actions they take based on their opinions could directly impact my life negatively.
What does concern me is people blithely throwing around judgemental opinion with no concept of the emotional pain those they are judging are already experiencing.
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It doesn't take a great stretch of the imagination to take a guess why I might feel I have a "special insight", though my views try to take into account what others who have written about suicide have had to say too.
 
We who are "Lucky" to, seem to be mentally healthy/stable should
show some sympathy to those who are mentally ill, every time you
see somebody who is afflicted, should always think, "There but for
the Grace of God, go I", before condemning them.

Try to help, if you are accepted, then your help/compassion might
also be accepted.

Mike.
 

One day in Aberdeen, we were getting on to the bus home when the driver said that there was a diversion because there was "A jumper on the bridge" ie a potential suicide. What struck me was the very public place he (as it turned out) had chosen. I've heard of people doing it quietly, on their own, so was this person making a final desperate cry for help? He jumped to his death and his only apparent legacy was travel disruption and inconvenience for commuters.
 
Capt Lightning said:
One day in Aberdeen, we were getting on to the bus home when the driver said that there was a diversion because there was "A jumper on the bridge" ie a potential suicide. What struck me was the very public place he (as it turned out) had chosen. I've heard of people doing it quietly, on their own, so was this person making a final desperate cry for help? He jumped to his death and his only apparent legacy was travel disruption and inconvenience for commuters.
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You’re assuming a level of rationality in his decision that typically isn’t present in most suicides.
 
Mike said:
We who are "Lucky" to, seem to be mentally healthy/stable should
show some sympathy to those who are mentally ill, every time you
see somebody who is afflicted, should always think, "There but for
the Grace of God, go I", before condemning them.
Try to help, if you are accepted, then your help/compassion might
also be accepted. Mike.
Click to expand...
Helping, in any way possible is right, " BUT" the obstacles are almost bound to be formidable, (some great, strong minded men and women can help, where others might not be able to).
A cousin of mine told a neighbouring farmer who had asked after his welfare, "You won't see me again", shortly before his suicide, (leaving a wife and two young children, plus loving wider family behind). "Don't say that", was the neighbours response.
Everyone knew how much at risk he was, and he'd had professional help, but he couldn't be saved, (though I'd suggest things could have turned out differently, just how being the unanswerable question).
 
It’s possible that the gun was securely locked. Many years ago a wife knew of her husband’s tendency to depression and desire to commit suicide so the gun case was always locked and she kept the only key on her chain. Somehow he managed to get that key and waited until she went out to the grocery store. He’d been planning it.

The guns were kept for household protection.

If you’d met him, you’d think him the most pleasant and happy person around.
 
Jules said:
It’s possible that the gun was securely locked. Many years ago a wife knew of her husband’s tendency to depression and desire to commit suicide so the gun case was always locked and she kept the only key on her chain. Somehow he managed to get that key and waited until she went out to the grocery store. He’d been planning it.

The guns were kept for household protection.

If you’d met him, you’d think him the most pleasant and happy person around.
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That's why a combination lock is better. But, when there's a will, there's a way.
 
Capt Lightning said:
No Ronni, I'm not making any assumptions, but I would have thought that many suicides did involve a degree of rationality.
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I completely agree when you’re dealing with somebody who has a terminal illness or an elderly person whose quality of life is vastly depleted and who is ready to be done. In those cases I believe suicide can be a logical, rational choice.

Because suicide has touched my life closely more than once, I’ve done a lot of research on the subject. This is a succinct quote that pretty much sums up my statement regarding the rationality or lack of in suicide.

“The vast majority of people who kill themselves also have a diagnosable mental illness, primarily depression, Dr. Conwell pointed out.

Suicide often also involves impulsivity rather than careful consideration. That doesn’t fit anybody’s definition of a rational act.

“The suicidal state is not fixed,” Dr. Conwell said. “It’s a teeter-totter. There’s a will to live and a will to die, and it goes back and forth.”
 
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So sorry for your and Jamiee's family and friends. 😪 My beautiful, vibrant cousin died in a one car accident several years after she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, rejected the diagnosis and refused medication. She had flown into a rage at her estranged husband and was driving at a very reckless speed on a winding, hilly road. I firmly believe had she accepted the diagnosis and treatment that she wouldn't have had the accident. It felt like a suicide and is statistically considered one by psychiatric standards given her history.

As for suicide being selfish, it feels that way to grieving loved ones, but at the moment a person takes their life, I think there is such great pain that release in death feels like their only way out. I'm not really sure that the permancy of the act even registers for a lot who commit suicide when pain is that severe.

@Ronni , you are so right that we have so much work to do to combat the stigma of mental illness.
 
Mike said:
We who are "Lucky" to, seem to be mentally healthy/stable should
show some sympathy to those who are mentally ill, every time you
see somebody who is afflicted, should always think, "There but for
the Grace of God, go I", before condemning them.
Try to help, if you are accepted, then your help/compassion might
also be accepted.. Mike.
Click to expand...
I get the opportunity, if I wish, to join a small reading group at a local library, where four or five mainly middle aged, very quiet natured men sit every week, listening to a book being read to them.
Most have been going regularly for more than five years, and their demeanour has changed little in that period, (all will be suffering mental illness, depression obviously, maybe other issues too, including suicidal thoughts being expressed to the medical professionals doing their best to help them).
You could be pleased indeed "they're accepting help", (no argument there), but the problem hasn't really gone away for these souls, their carers etc., having to keep an interest.
Thank god for those remarkable, strong minded professionals doing their jobs, where would we be without them, but all should be prepared to accept the limitations of the argument, "If only whoever it was commiting suicide, had accepted their diagnosis and the assistance offered", because it is in the nature of these mental illnesses that you're unable to accept help, much though I agree it should continue to be offered.
 

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