So, my grandma (92) is facing eviction from her assisted living place (for non financial reasons) and being forced to either move to another facility, or into "memory care". The reason being that she has started falling a lot and supposedly needs a higher level of care than the place offers in this facility. Now she has a lot of problems but I would say for her age, memory is not really one of them.
The staff are trying to force a move into a Memory Care unit, because she has fallen more than Y times in X days...... Someone please enlighten me on this point as I wasn't aware that old people fell because they forgot to keep standing? I always thought it was a loss of BALANCE (probably caused by loss of strength/flexibility)???
Anyway, my grandma has no real signs of memory loss. But the staff claims she has Alzheimer's/dementia.... And interprets ALL of her behaviors as "early signs" of this as justification to push this move. However, most of us who have known her for years know the real cause of these issues. For example, they say the fact that she comments on peoples weight is a sign of Alzheimer's. (She has always been hypercritical of people!) Also, one thing that happens a lot is she will ask the same thing over again in a conversation. But she is horribly hard of hearing, and has never been a great listener but a good "teller".. Of course, the hearing loss now has gotten more severe (you can't even call her because she cannot HEAR the phone ring) and she usually has CNN blaring at max volume as well. Omg.
She asks the questions repeatedly because she has gotten used to "acting" like she is listening, (eye contact, nodding head etc). And will reply with generic responses like "yeah" or "uh huh" but often times I think this is because she can't hear and doesn't want to admit it or interrupt.
I have caught her doing this many times (my grandpa, who is still living independently and doing great also does this from time to time).
The nursing director, as proof of his "memory" argument, claims she needs it just bc she doesnt remember his name. I disagree! I think it's entirely possible she JUST DOESNT GIVE A HOOT about who this guy is.... Is that so bad? I doubt the level of interaction they have really necessitates the learning of all these peoples names. I have excellent memory, am young, and I don't always remember the names of people I am introduced to particularly if I dot have frequent contact with them or expect to.
One issue she does have is auditory hallucinations that sometimes happen frequently for a whole and then don't show up for a few months. she does occasionally complain about sounds that aren't there and attribute them to things/people that aren't there (this is one of the reasons we moved her in assisted living in the first place, as she was insisting that my grandpa call the cops on the neighbors for constantly playing loud music, a song from the 40's (they obviously weren't). But I attribute this more to the severe hearing loss and being on depression meds with this as a potential side effect.
Ok so....
I guess what really worries me, is this move is not only going to be stressful bc at her age, everything's stressful . ... But it will put her into nearly total isolation, and I feel that's not mentall healthy for her.
-(it will remove many of the benefits she has had from being in Assisted Living, particularly social interaction with friends she has made; and others she knows from long ago, if she has to be separated from the other residents;
- if she is put in memory ward, how the heck is she supposed to make new connections with people that legitimately honestly cannot remember anything?
-to make matters worse, she will have NO PHONE? That's just cruel!
NO PHONE? This worries me also on a personal security level..... So you put a person, a vulnerable person, in a situation where they are physically trapped, staff in and out all day and night, you have already labeled them to have faulty memory, and then they have NO WAY of contacting the outside world at will or in private.... I see "Unsafe Situation"/ripe for abuse/coverup written all over it....
What other options do we have?
Any way to get her more care without leaving her "home" ? Or getting a phone in the room? I would think for $5 GRAND a month they could at least figure out how to get a contractor in there to install a phone jack and then remove it for when they have a person move in who really has the issues where they should not have a phone....
Sorry that was a long rant .... Just feeling very sorry/scared for her right now.
The staff are trying to force a move into a Memory Care unit, because she has fallen more than Y times in X days...... Someone please enlighten me on this point as I wasn't aware that old people fell because they forgot to keep standing? I always thought it was a loss of BALANCE (probably caused by loss of strength/flexibility)???
Anyway, my grandma has no real signs of memory loss. But the staff claims she has Alzheimer's/dementia.... And interprets ALL of her behaviors as "early signs" of this as justification to push this move. However, most of us who have known her for years know the real cause of these issues. For example, they say the fact that she comments on peoples weight is a sign of Alzheimer's. (She has always been hypercritical of people!) Also, one thing that happens a lot is she will ask the same thing over again in a conversation. But she is horribly hard of hearing, and has never been a great listener but a good "teller".. Of course, the hearing loss now has gotten more severe (you can't even call her because she cannot HEAR the phone ring) and she usually has CNN blaring at max volume as well. Omg.
She asks the questions repeatedly because she has gotten used to "acting" like she is listening, (eye contact, nodding head etc). And will reply with generic responses like "yeah" or "uh huh" but often times I think this is because she can't hear and doesn't want to admit it or interrupt.
I have caught her doing this many times (my grandpa, who is still living independently and doing great also does this from time to time).
The nursing director, as proof of his "memory" argument, claims she needs it just bc she doesnt remember his name. I disagree! I think it's entirely possible she JUST DOESNT GIVE A HOOT about who this guy is.... Is that so bad? I doubt the level of interaction they have really necessitates the learning of all these peoples names. I have excellent memory, am young, and I don't always remember the names of people I am introduced to particularly if I dot have frequent contact with them or expect to.
One issue she does have is auditory hallucinations that sometimes happen frequently for a whole and then don't show up for a few months. she does occasionally complain about sounds that aren't there and attribute them to things/people that aren't there (this is one of the reasons we moved her in assisted living in the first place, as she was insisting that my grandpa call the cops on the neighbors for constantly playing loud music, a song from the 40's (they obviously weren't). But I attribute this more to the severe hearing loss and being on depression meds with this as a potential side effect.
Ok so....
I guess what really worries me, is this move is not only going to be stressful bc at her age, everything's stressful . ... But it will put her into nearly total isolation, and I feel that's not mentall healthy for her.
-(it will remove many of the benefits she has had from being in Assisted Living, particularly social interaction with friends she has made; and others she knows from long ago, if she has to be separated from the other residents;
- if she is put in memory ward, how the heck is she supposed to make new connections with people that legitimately honestly cannot remember anything?
-to make matters worse, she will have NO PHONE? That's just cruel!
NO PHONE? This worries me also on a personal security level..... So you put a person, a vulnerable person, in a situation where they are physically trapped, staff in and out all day and night, you have already labeled them to have faulty memory, and then they have NO WAY of contacting the outside world at will or in private.... I see "Unsafe Situation"/ripe for abuse/coverup written all over it....
What other options do we have?
Any way to get her more care without leaving her "home" ? Or getting a phone in the room? I would think for $5 GRAND a month they could at least figure out how to get a contractor in there to install a phone jack and then remove it for when they have a person move in who really has the issues where they should not have a phone....
Sorry that was a long rant .... Just feeling very sorry/scared for her right now.