My Last Trip to Costco

Ozarkgal

Ozarkgal

Senior Member
Location
Deep in the Ozark woods

MY LAST TRIP TO COSTCO ​
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Lucy and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

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What did she think I had an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.


I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
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Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me.


I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.
 
Just noticed this should have been posted under HUMOR...sorry!:rolleyes::confused:6-20-13 010.jpg

I explained to Ohno that sniffing poodles butts can lead to getting hit by a car..but in this case more likely to get his nose bit by a testy poodle.
 
I wanna do it! I wanna do it!

Not the poodle thing but goofing on people at the store. Wonderfully hilarious. This gets the That Guy award for wiseass of the year!!!
 
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