My Niece’s Birthday Gift Need Help

Been There

Been There

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Florida
I have been giving a lot of thought to what to give my niece for her birthday gift in August. She is the only family I have. Oh, I have other relatives, but we are estranged and always have been. This woman is unbelievable. She lives in San Jose and travels about 75% of the time for her job. We are as close as any brother and sister would be.

This is another case of someone having everything they want or need. I just don’t have any ideas, other than an assortment of gift cards, which is really becoming passé. She just bought a new car, which I was considering, so that idea is out the door. Maybe throw her a party, if I can get hold of her address book. I know one of her close friends, so maybe she could make up the guest list. She will be turning the big 5-0.

She has offered me to come live with her and I have done the same for her, but she needs to live in San Jose and I have no real desire to live in San Jose. She will only wear one of two perfumes, which she seldom wears and doesn’t like anyone picking out her clothing. I am drawing a complete blank. I was joking with my pastor the other evening about this dilemma and he said gifts do not have to be expensive for the person receiving the gift to be delighted with it. I asked him what was he suggesting. He said maybe pay off a utility bill or buy her a cruise. The cruise kind of caught my attention. Maybe she would meet a nice man. Jewelry is also out.

I have no ideas, do you?
 

A Cruise! Wow, that's quite a gift! Are you sure she would want it, though? I'm asking as I would rather go somewhere else than take a cruise. Is there any place you know she would love to see?
 
Unless you know for a fact that your niece loves cruises, I wouldn’t. Actually, many don’t want to go on cruises any more; too many illnesses to be picked up now.

Whatever you choose, also plan on a trip to San Jose to see her sometime soon.

Is her new car paid off?
 

If you're seriously considering giving her a cruise (what a lovely idea!) then I'd suggest telling her your intention ahead of time so that she can choose where she'd like to go. Personally I'd love a cruise but I wouldn't like going alone, so that's something to consider. One of my lifelong dreams is an Alaskan cruise... always sounded so exciting to me!
 
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Are her parents alive? They would be the best source of ideas. Do you know any of her friends?
 
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" We are as close as any brother and sister would be."

Since you are so close & she has everything why not ask her if she would like to have dinner with you to celebrate. Sharing time together on this special occasion can be a gift that is valued more.
 
You said your niece travels a lot. A birthday visit from Uncle Been There would be a nice gift. Her birthday isn't until August, so you have plenty of time to make the arrangements around her schedule to go and see her in San Jose. Seeing as she has everything, you could bring her some beautiful flowers and maybe some nice chocolates, and as Knight suggested, take her out for a lovely dinner to celebrate.
 
I agree that a shared experience would be nice. Could be anything she likes but doesn't get to do often -- whether it be opera or camping, or something else entirely.

A big birthday bash could be nice too, if you can arrange it.

Since she travels a lot, she might or might not appreciate the gift of travel. (I had a relative who ate in restaurants all the time, and did not consider dining out a treat.) She might cherish her at-home time. Has she ever mentioned a place she'd love to visit or revisit?
 
When she visited with me over Thanksgiving, she made the comment that she traveled so many places, but has never taken a cruise. She made the comment that she would like to try it someday. He mother is alive, but her dad is deceased. Her dad was my dad’s brother. We have had dinner together on several occasions.

She has mentioned that she would enjoy spending time in Hawaii, so I was thinking maybe of a trip to Hawaii and then cruise around the islands. American Airlines offers this type of deal. Hawaii Cruise After all, it is her 50th birthday. I would have to set it up so she could choose the dates later because I don’t know when she could get off.

I do like the idea of going out and just spending time with her at her house. I would just have to make sure it’s a time when she will be off.
 
Uncle Been There, could you possibly take the trip to Hawaii and cruise around the islands with her? 🤔 She wouldn't have to go alone, and I'm sure you'd have a wonderful time together!
 
Bella said:
Uncle Been There, could you possibly take the trip to Hawaii and cruise around the islands with her? 🤔 She wouldn't have to go alone, and I'm sure you'd have a wonderful time together!
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This is an excellent idea, if you & your niece are comfortable sharing a cabin together on the ship. Separate cabins would likely be cost prohibitive so I suppose you'd have to talk to her about that in advance.

I've done a similar Hawaiian cruise and it was spectacular!! Truly a once in a lifetime trip. You do need to do some exploring too though when in the various ports to see the spectacular sites Hawaii has to offer. A must do is to take a sail along the Napali Coast when you're in Kauai. Breathtaking scenery like nothing you'll ever see anywhere else.
Napali Coast.jpg

A trip like this would be a treasured memory shared by both of you for life.
 
Jules said:
Are her parents alive? They would be the best source of ideas. Do you know any of her friends?
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Her mother is still alive. Her dad was my dad’s brother. I know of one close friend of her’s from when she tried to get us together.
MrPants said:
This is an excellent idea, if you & your niece are comfortable sharing a cabin together on the ship. Separate cabins would likely be cost prohibitive so I suppose you'd have to talk to her about that in advance.

I've done a similar Hawaiian cruise and it was spectacular!! Truly a once in a lifetime trip. You do need to do some exploring too though when in the various ports to see the spectacular sites Hawaii has to offer. A must do is to take a sail along the Napali Coast when you're in Kauai. Breathtaking scenery like nothing you'll ever see anywhere else.
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A trip like this would be a treasured memory shared by both of you for life.
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That is a great idea and although I have very little to zero connection to the rest of the family. I have heard rumblings within the family that some of them already believe that her and I are already too close. This is preposterous. Her and I have more like a brother and sister relationship. We have never done more than hug one another and maybe a kiss on the cheek. Yes, I really enjoy being in Hawaii. When I was in the military, I spent more than my share of time out there. My favorite memory is hiking up to Punch Bowl Cemetery. It's a beautiful place. Each time I went up there, I could close my eyes and allow my brain to drift back to December 7, 1941 and hear the planes flying over the island.
 
I was just trying to logic the cousin or niece terms out too. I believe BT was later raised by his grandparents, so she may feel like his niece.

Does your niece own her home. She might appreciate a down payment towards one.

Since her mother is alive, they may be planning on a 50th birthday party.

I don’t understand your retirement saving system. Maybe you could put a significant amount in it to help speed up that date.
 
Pepper said:
If your dad and her dad were brothers, aren't you two first cousins? "Her dad was my dad’s brother" you said, making your dad her uncle, not you. I'm confused.
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I knew this was going to come up and I should have explained it much earlier. I get screwed up when it comes to figuring out relatives, but here goes. My mom always called my dad’s brother’s daughter, which would be his and her’s niece Susie, which she hated being called. Her name is Suzanne and that’s what she wanted to be called, but my mom preferred Susie, end of story. My niece (cousin) put up with it.

Suzanne is about 10 years younger than me. Suzanne called my dad Uncle Jack. I was Jack, Jr. When my parents were killed, Suzanne called me Uncle Jack, which when I became older, she just called me Jack. When I went to live with my grandparents and she would come to visit, I would introduce her to my friends as my niece Suzanne. Over the years, our relationship titles just kind of stuck. She was my niece and I was her uncle. I know, it sounds crazy, but it has just stuck.

There’s more to it. I don’t have much of a relationship with my dad’s side of the family because of several reasons. One is that when my parents died, the bothers and sister on my dad’s side fought over who would raise me. They all had reasons why they couldn’t have anymore children and my one uncle thought they should consider a orphanage. My grandparents about went nuts on their son snd Gramps slammed his fist on the table and yelled at him that “your mom and I will raise him.”

They got a lawyer and the judge heard the case and made my grandparents legal Guardians. After that, my grandparents wrote them off. When they died, they thought my grandparents were going to divide their estate between the 3 of them, the 2 brothers and 1 sister. When the lawyer, who was the Executor of the will read off the assets of the will, to my surprise, I was given about 80% or more of the estate, including the farm. The brothers and sister were going to contest it, but it was found that they had no legal standing. Whatever that means.

Her mother thinks we are too close and has all but made some very ugly accusations, but not to me. They all know I love Suzanne, but not romantically. They let their minds get carried away.
 
I am going to see her at Easter, so maybe I can get something out of her then. She wants to visit again for 4-5 days before I move to Jacksonville. She likes being around Washington. I like it here too, but am ready for a warmer climate.
 

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