My niece dropped out of summer play for serious reasons.

AnnieA

AnnieA

Well-known Member
Location
Down South
She is 16 and is currently at the police station with a 15 yo girlfriend whose parents are pressing statutory rape charges against an 18 yo young man who is also in the play. He 'was' a friend of my niece's through art camps and creative activities in the area and verified enough of the victim's story in texts to my niece that the girl's parents asked if she would accompany them with her phone as evidence. The rape didn't occur at play practice, but since the rape, they've learned of instances in which this guy made sexually suggestive remarks to other minor girls at practice. The girls have been afraid for two weeks to approach adults because the guy is a lead in the play.

Last weekend, my niece hurt her shoulder and complained about it Monday night at play practice. A 22 yo guy who was volunteering as a stagehand offered her two 'muscle relaxants' and was so insistent in pressuring her to take them that she put them in her mouth, then went to the women's bathroom and spit them in the trashcan. He stuck by her the rest of the evening like glue asking her how she felt. A friend retrieved the pills the next day. My brother has decided to file a police report and have them analyzed after showing them to a sheriff friend in another county who said they look similar to a Mexican drug cartel produced benzodiazapine that is sometimes laced with fentanyl. The markings are obscured by the short time she held them in her mouth, but that's inconsequential since they're produced to look like common over-the-counter medications. The night of the pill incident, she told my brother and he said she couldn't go back. She was actually relieved which is sad because she loves performing arts and is normally spunky and would argue with him if it had been something she wanted to continue. She was that scared and upset about the pills and the rape.

I'm beyond disappointed in the negligence on the part of the adults involved in producing the play. The youngest child involved is seven and there are young adults over 21 in a few roles as well as some helping out behind the scenes. That's an age disparity that calls for close supervision. And it's disturbing that the girls felt uneasy about going to the adults.

My niece and I have talked since she got involved with the arts several years about how there's a high prevalence of addiction in creatives ...plenty of news coverage of actors and musicians in rehab for her to take that seriously. We've also discussed the effects of substances on developing brains and she takes that seriously as well. Now our conversation has switched to how she can continue to participate (very gifted dancer, good singing and stage voice, good acting skills) from a position of strength. These are hard life lessons and I'm feeling so brokenhearted for these girls and so angry on their behalf.
 

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That's terrible that she and the others even need to deal with this, :(
But I am glad that she did know what to do, at least not to swallow the pills, and thankfully she has been talking with you and with other trusted adults.
I hope that, although I wish they didn't need to, I hope what she and they are learning about how to cope with these challenges, now, might help them in the future, to deal with other ones, that we also hope they will not ever have to.
You are right, of course, that the supervision should have been much better, with that age group mix. Or actually, with any programs for young people, regardless of the ages of the adults involved.
 
Holy Moly! Obviously your niece is a very smart young lady and I'm sure she was raised well. It's good that she has the support system she needs, including you Annie. I'm glad she was not harmed but feel very bad for the young ones who were. This kind of thing leaves mental scars, even for those who were not raped but violated by the threat of such conduct. Shame on the grown ups for not paying better attention to what was going on, obviously right under their noses. I hope those young men are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
 
The saddest part of this whole story is many/most young people today do not have an adult that they feel comfortable talking to about the complicated adult-themed issues that we have all faced at some point in our lives.

It wasn't any different when I was a teenager but I would have hoped that in the last half-century things might have improved.
 
Murrmurr said:
Do they do any kind of screening of the participants?? With minors involved, you'd think that would be a must.

On the up-side - this is an excellent opportunity to teach your niece how to assert herself and protect herself. She's every bit as powerful as the men and boys who assume she's weaker than them.
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Apparently they don't screen well if at all.

Using it to teach her to be strong the next time is what we're doing. She's got grit but was caught off guard by the situation; next time she won't be.
 
Lewkat said:
That entire outfit needs to be investigated and the baddies weeded out and charged. While it may be true that many in the entertainment industry use drugs, there are just as many who do not. Serious artists would not jeopardize their abilities by using substances that would harm them.
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I hope by filing charges for both incidents and that the rapist is a lead (play is in two weeks so they'll be in a bind) gets the message out that this community playhouse has serious issues and the good people involved will work on cleaning things up.

She knows that performers don't all substance abuse and doesn't want to, but she will encounter pressure to try things again, so I hope she comes out of this stronger. I think she will. She was so angry at his insistence that she almost cried in front of him ...I cry too when I get really mad and HATE it! That's why she finally did put them in her mouth but she's ashamed of doing even that. I hate that she feels ashamed since it was a 22 year old pressuring a 16 year old and it was the first time anyone has tried so insistently to intimidate her. We've talked about how to handle it again when someone refuses to honor her No.
 
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So glad that your niece was not harmed. We have to teach young girls about those dangers out there.

When my niece started going to "raves" 23 years ago, I beat into head that she wasn't to accept drinks or food from others. If you want a drink, get it yourself from the bar or machine. And never put your drink down and turn your back on it. And of course, DON'T ACCEPT DRUGS.
 
She is wise for her age to know instinctively that there was trouble there and extricated herself from it the right way. She should receive a lot of praise for not being a gullible twit.
 
Young teen age girls are especially prone to be targeted by the sexual predators. They are still young enough to believe in the good of people, yet not old enough to recognize just how bad some people are.
 
My granddaughter aged 23 and very pretty with being petite and long blonde hair just started a paid internship at Nasa here in Clear Lake. She loves the job but on her first day she was approached by a guy with a suggestion. She loudly said "Human Resources" back to him and he fled. She said "Mimi, I wanted everybody to know I am not taking any s### off of anybody". I was very proud that she set him straight at the beginning. I was afraid that would happen as men think they can take advantage of a young person just starting out in their career. I told her to keep a record of everything anybody said to her that was sexual and offensive. I learned that years ago being a supervisor of a office full of ladies and a few men that thought they could take advantage.
 
AnnieA said:
She is 16 and is currently at the police station with a 15 yo girlfriend whose parents are pressing statutory rape charges against an 18 yo young man who is also in the play. He 'was' a friend of my niece's through art camps and creative activities in the area and verified enough of the victim's story in texts to my niece that the girl's parents asked if she would accompany them with her phone as evidence. The rape didn't occur at play practice, but since the rape, they've learned of instances in which this guy made sexually suggestive remarks to other minor girls at practice. The girls have been afraid for two weeks to approach adults because the guy is a lead in the play.

Last weekend, my niece hurt her shoulder and complained about it Monday night at play practice. A 22 yo guy who was volunteering as a stagehand offered her two 'muscle relaxants' and was so insistent in pressuring her to take them that she put them in her mouth, then went to the women's bathroom and spit them in the trashcan. He stuck by her the rest of the evening like glue asking her how she felt. A friend retrieved the pills the next day. My brother has decided to file a police report and have them analyzed after showing them to a sheriff friend in another county who said they look similar to a Mexican drug cartel produced benzodiazapine that is sometimes laced with fentanyl. The markings are obscured by the short time she held them in her mouth, but that's inconsequential since they're produced to look like common over-the-counter medications. The night of the pill incident, she told my brother and he said she couldn't go back. She was actually relieved which is sad because she loves performing arts and is normally spunky and would argue with him if it had been something she wanted to continue. She was that scared and upset about the pills and the rape.

I'm beyond disappointed in the negligence on the part of the adults involved in producing the play. The youngest child involved is seven and there are young adults over 21 in a few roles as well as some helping out behind the scenes. That's an age disparity that calls for close supervision. And it's disturbing that the girls felt uneasy about going to the adults.

My niece and I have talked since she got involved with the arts several years about how there's a high prevalence of addiction in creatives ...plenty of news coverage of actors and musicians in rehab for her to take that seriously. We've also discussed the effects of substances on developing brains and she takes that seriously as well. Now our conversation has switched to how she can continue to participate (very gifted dancer, good singing and stage voice, good acting skills) from a position of strength. These are hard life lessons and I'm feeling so brokenhearted for these girls and so angry on their behalf.
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Glad she was wise enough not to swallow those pills, she may not be alive today if she did. Sad that these things are going on, unfortunately you have to be wary of everyone around you, especially at that young age. :(
 
She's a good age to start taking martial arts lessons.

Not kidding; knowing you can defend yourself can put off would-be predators. ;-)
 
Don M. said:
Young teen age girls are especially prone to be targeted by the sexual predators. They are still young enough to believe in the good of people, yet not old enough to recognize just how bad some people are.
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What's sad is that the 18 year old guy is incredibly talented, handsome and the much loved adopted son (only child) of a great couple. Why he felt the need to rape a 15 year old is beyond me when there are plenty of girls his age or older with whom he could have consensual sex. My niece specifically asked him in a text if the girl said no or tried to push him away. He ignored the no part of the question and said "Well, we play fought a little before." How would he know what was 'play' fighting with this girl ...they were not even dating. She was upstairs with a girlfriend and when he saw the girlfriend come downstairs, caught her upstairs alone while the others were downstairs playing loud video games. He has started young on a bad path but thankfully for the girl has been fool enough to implicate himself in texts. I hope today and the subsequent fall-out is a wake-up call for him. Otherwise he's headed for a world of hurt in life for himself and going to cause hurt for others.
 
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