My Retirement

Davey Do

Goofy, Illinois
Original Poster
lawn socks. boobies,and mirages.jpg

Okay, I'm a little hard of hearing. But my wife Belinda is a low talker.
We're going into Target. I ask, "What are we here for?"
I thought I heard Belinda say "A lawn sock".
"Why do we need a lawn sock?" I ask.
"AN ALARM CLOCK!" Belinda replies in a normal volume.
"Oh yeah", I say.

While pushing the cart down the isle by the DVD's, Belinda tells me "My kids are boobies".
"Your kids are boobies?" I ask.
"HERE ARE THE MOVIES!" she says in a normal voice.

We go to look at the alarm clocks. Belinda tells me of an artist who stuck a bunch of clocks together to make a "mirage".
"I think the word you're looking for is collage", I corrected her.
"No, I think it was a mirage", she says.
"Oh", I replied, "It really wasn't there."

Davey Do

Goofy, Illinois
Original Poster
Belinda and I were watching a DVD of NCIS the other night when I turned my back to the TV.
I heard a female say something and I asked Belinda, "Did she say...

licking corn.jpg

"NO!" Belinda replied, "She said...

leaving corp.jpg


Senior Meanderer

A couple celebrating their 50th anniversary had many well wishers stop by to congratulate them. After all of their guests had left, the two settled into recliners. “Mother,” the man said, “our marriage is tried and true.” “What’s that you say?” she asked. “You know I can’t hear without my hearing aid.” “I said, our marriage is tried and true,” he repeated, a little louder. "Well, I'm tired of YOU too!", she replied.
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