My sister really hates me.

VintageBetter

VintageBetter

Senior Member
Oh my God, it is so incredibly painful to look back at old emails. I remember the hatred and insanity coming from "family". I didn't go looking for the emails - was taking care of other business and there they were.

I had another nightmare last night, about the present and the past. Ominous. I'm not going to go into detail but it's one of those nightmares that makes you remember all the horrid people you have met in life and say prayers of protection from them and their breed.

I had one sibling who went to therapy for a long time and it helped him so much, but my sister sure won't go. No. Therapy requires at least a bit of humility and no! Not for her! There is nothing on my end that can be done about it. Just wanted to say that.
 

my daughter has stopped communicating - she won't say why ; won't respond - I suspect sibling rivalry between she and her brother who assists me well - she feels left out at some time??
 

Sibling rivalry is hard for me to understand - yet I've seen it in my own kids (4 in mid 50s). But then I have two sisters - one 5 years older, one 5 years younger. We have - to my knowledge - never had an even close to serious problem.

Yet, my wife's brother is a total piece of crap - an emotionless void (as his first wife confirmed). He does have serious mental problems though - observed since childhood (and nothing done about it).
 
Sibling rivalry is considered normal by most psychologists and family therapists, at least according to the things I have read, but just as there are toxic levels of water consumption (even too much water can kill a person), there's too high of levels of sibling rivalry in some families and that can be toxic.

This is why I'm also happy and gratified when my kids are supporting one another emotionally - even if it is sometimes to poke a little fun at Old Mom. It's OK. I can laugh at myself too and I know the mistakes I've made in life. But only my kids are allowed to poke fun at me because I know they love me. Outsiders? No. They do not get that privilege since they don't give a **** about me.
 
VintageBetter said:
Oh my God, it is so incredibly painful to look back at old emails. I remember the hatred and insanity coming from "family". I didn't go looking for the emails - was taking care of other business and there they were.

I had another nightmare last night, about the present and the past. Ominous. I'm not going to go into detail but it's one of those nightmares that makes you remember all the horrid people you have met in life and say prayers of protection from them and their breed.

I had one sibling who went to therapy for a long time and it helped him so much, but my sister sure won't go. No. Therapy requires at least a bit of humility and no! Not for her! There is nothing on my end that can be done about it. Just wanted to say that.
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Easy to say, but I wouldn't worry about it. I've never been a big believer in the "blood is thicker than water" thing. If someone treats you badly, then they've treated you badly. You don't owe them forgiveness. And let's face it,. most times you've given them chance after chance, it's never one solitary event.

My brother was a raging alcoholic. And I mean RAGING. The destruction he brought to the family unit affected everyone. The violence, the arguments, the destruction of things. Hell, he even got himself arrested and gave MY name and birthday, because alcohol is harder to find in prison. He's a mean, SOB. Do I have anything to do with him? No. Will I ever? No.

However, if you sense you've fallen out with someone and you truly don't know why - just ask them. Open the hand, make an effort. If they reject you - there ya go.
 

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