My Spiteful Granddaughter

I think there must be more to this than meets the eye, this is not isolated but probably has lots of past history leading up to it - grievances on both sides.
 

I was informed today that by my other granddaughter who attended the wedding ( her partner was not invited)
She informed me ,and her mother that their father turned up to walk the GD who was getting married down the isle only to be informed right there and then ..that she had chosen her uncle to have that honor ...The uncle is her fathers sisters husband ... It naturally caused a few issues for her on the day/ night ..especially with her Vietnamese side of the family having strict customs ..that I was made aware of when my daughter married Tung.

Yes there had been allot of issues with her father when she was young ..most of the time he choose to go from work to the casino rather than spending time with the two girls , (this happened when he and my daughter were married ) and when the girls visited his home for the weekend after he and may daughter divorced .

I mentioned in an earlier post his new wife would lock the girls in a room until he arrived home ..no they were not noisy children ..she was always extreamely jealous of the girls taking attention away from her.
When my other GD was about 10 years old Tungs wife even locked her in a room for a whole day while she was at work to prevent my GD eating any of HER food.
 
Wow, that seems a bit harsh. Where is the compassion? This is the perfect place to air our family problems, among our online friends. Perhaps, if you knew her, you could see why, to many of us, Kadee is like family, we are more than happy to listen, and offer what support we can, just as we did when you aired your

difficulties. Our support is not contingent on listening to any side but Kadee's. Family relationships are often convoluted, therapist or not, I don't always have all the ingredients to the communal soup re my own relatives. We do the best we can.

There are often many pieces to family dynamics, difficult to discern. It is not our job to do so, or to judge. Some of Kadee's relative's behaviour were nasty, she was hurt. She deserves, and receives my support, without judgement. Kadee is a warm and loving person who has overcome some huge challenges, I respect her strength and humanity.
 

Bluecheese50 said:
Maybe this is not the right place to be airing your family problems, especially as there are usually two sides to every story!
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Dear Lord....that's very harsh. You have a right to your opinion, but Kadee is a personal friend of mine and with few friends or family to garner opinions from outside her family, she's reached out to the close friends she's made on the forum just to be able to let off a bit of angst and hurt she's feeling about a personal matter. Social media forums are used for that in their millions ...

Everyone is different...you discuss what you feel is ok for you on a forum, and let others be the judge of what matters they choose to write for themselves.. !!
 
Of course , I think we all do, especially Kadee, it IS her flesh and blood the granddaughter she took care of as a child... but she's stuck in a position where she can't say anything to upset any family members so she turns to her friends to offload her fears and upset..nothing wrong with that at all
 
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So much anger and judgement in so many of your posts, Cheese. If you find so many of our ideas and behaviours offensive, why are you here? Do you enjoy pointing out what you consider to be other people's failings, regardless of how hurtful it sounds? This is a friendly forum. We are expected to treat each other with tolerance or respect, or go elsewhere.
 
Kadee, so sorry that the situation is so full of strife and hope that things smooth out eventually over time, which will probably happen. It would be very hard to deal with especially during a wedding, which is supposed to be a happy time.
 
Kadee, I'm truly sorry for your problems. Shakespeare said, "How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child." Ol' Bill knew what he was talking about.

As we go through life, we will meet people who will be cruel to us......it's all the harder when they're our loved ones.

Hang in there.
 
I was only posting the update to let members know who supported me in past when I was upset about my GD ..I was not the not only family member treated ike a bit of dirt .....She invited her Vietnamese family only to completely ignore her Fathers side of the family at the wedding not even informing Tung as I mentioned until the last minute he would not be walking her down the isle ....That side of the family were not included or acknowledged in ANY speeches at the wedding either ,do you consider that my fault as well . BC :shrug:just curious why you feel sorry for my GD when she has hurt ,her grandparents , Two sisters ( one who's 10 years old ) who she didn't invite....What was her crime for being left out ?? . ..Her Vietnamese grandparents are not happy with her for breaking tradition not having her father involved in ANYWAY in her wedding.. Someone has to be the centre of ALL THE ISSUES :shrug:
I supported her when she needed support .from the day she was born ,I live 200 km from her ( I lived close to her until she was about 15 y/o) I visited her home when I was in the city or a short hello at work so not to interrupt her work ,always made a point of going out for a meal on her birthday,if she had an issue with us would have she invited us to her home ??told us where she worked ?? When I dropped in to say a quick hello at work I would always slip her $50 ..unlike her father who would approach her and ask her if she had any money
She worked at the Adelaide Casino at the time .
 
Weddings bring out total INSANITY in many people. I have 3 married daughters..1 left that doesn't want to marry until she's done with her education if ever she says ..
BUT my middle daughter has a very overbearing mother in law with serious control issues that must call her son 30 times a day. I never voiced even one opinion about what was to be done in the wedding because my daughter was already over whelmed by her mother in laws constant barrage of calls and input. She was stressed out to the MAX and did not get the wedding she really wanted due to that interference. I asked her if she wanted me to go to war for her or stay out and keep my mouth shut. She told me just to stay out and keep the peace. So, I did. My daughter was NOT her usual happy go lucky self during that time due to stress.
It sounds to me like your granddaughter is trying to pull closer to her husbands family AT ALL COSTS. I don't expect the whole thing to end well later, because people take being dictated to for a while, but eventually balk and ask themselves "WTF?!". It doesn't matter what you have given her in the way of money people are seldom grateful for that. IF you had a close relationship the kind where the 2 of you talked a lot and spent a lot of time together BEFORE this happened. You will probably get that back more than likely in my own opinion. I don't think she was thinking of how to be rude to her family..I think she was trying to make it in his. Love makes us do some strange odd things some times. I don't think it was about you.. I think it was about her and her feeling vulnerable and overwhelmed.
ANYWAY it's my 2 cents ..I could be totally wrong.
(((hugs))
 
Kadee, I am so sorry to hear all this and I can only pray your G-daughter will come to see the light as to how you and other family members have been treated all this time... She may have been stressed to the max like you said and she may look back at that whole situation some day and rightfully so. .I know I would ,,Prayers for peace in your family again, Kadee..
 
tinytn said:
Kadee, I am so sorry to hear all this and I can only pray your G-daughter will come to see the light as to how you and other family members have been treated all this time... She may have been stressed to the max like you said and she may look back at that whole situation some day and rightfully so. .I know I would ,,Prayers for peace in your family again, Kadee..
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Thank you Tiny ,We have no contact with her at all so from now on I will let it all go.
 
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