Need emotional encouragment

Olivia

Olivia

Well-known Member
Location
Hawaii
I had an email from a few days ago from a former boss (who I worked with over almost 30 years in three different organizations) that on Feb 1st, he initiated a reunion for all of us retired people from that place--he left 10 years ago to move to the mainland--and since it's been 10 years that I've left I guess I'm being a bit self-conscious about attending--although I was in no way feeling I should not go. I'm not worried about him--he's known me since me as a young 30 year old and both with straight hair and an afro--skinny, a little not skinny whatever. No problem But--when the last place we worked left the person that took his place (without going into details) was nothing compatible with him or him with me. Basically, he fired me. My former boss was quite surprised, but I wasn't. Any job I've ever had, I scrutinized potential employers as much as they did me. This was the first time I basically had no choice.

Well, I find out that, that person is going to be there too, even though he's not an retiree. And my former boss doesn't seem to have any problems with it. And I'm thinking--is this his way to flaunt it in his face, like you may have fired my favorite assistant but here she is and so go blow. Lol

However, besides that, it's been ten years and I'm ten years older and I stopped coloring my hair and I'll probably look way older to some people. So tell me to not to give a you-know-what.

P.S Not coloring my hair is why I chose this temporary Avatar.
 

I have no interest in work or school reunions. I value the very few people that have kept in touch over the years but I have no real interest in rehashing the past with those that haven't.

If you want to go then you should go and if you don't want to go then you should decline the invitation. I would never let concerns over one person's opinion prevent me from doing anything.

Good luck!
 
Olivia said:
I had an email from a few days ago from a former boss (who I worked with over almost 30 years in three different organizations) that on Feb 1st, he initiated a reunion for all of us retired people from that place--he left 10 years ago to move to the mainland--and since it's been 10 years that I've left I guess I'm being a bit self-conscious about attending--although I was in no way feeling I should not go. I'm not worried about him--he's known me since me as a young 30 year old and both with straight hair and an afro--skinny, a little not skinny whatever. No problem But--when the last place we worked left the person that took his place (without going into details) was nothing compatible with him or him with me. Basically, he fired me. My former boss was quite surprised, but I wasn't. Any job I've ever had, I scrutinized potential employers as much as they did me. This was the first time I basically had no choice.

Well, I find out that, that person is going to be there too, even though he's not an retiree. And my former boss doesn't seem to have any problems with it. And I'm thinking--is this his way to flaunt it in his face, like you may have fired my favorite assistant but here she is and so go blow. Lol

However, besides that, it's been ten years and I'm ten years older and I stopped coloring my hair and I'll probably look way older to some people. So tell me to not to give a you-know-what.

P.S Not coloring my hair is why I chose this temporary Avatar.
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I'd say go, have a good time. Don't worry about you'd old boss. It was 10 yrs ago so much water under the bridge. If he has a problem with it it's his problem. Don't make it yours.
 

Olivia, I really feel you're over-thinking this. If you really want to go, then go. If not, politely decline. Try to stop worrying.

Good luck whatever you decide.
 
I will agree with Aunt Bea as I usually do, but I get the sense here that you would like to go.

From your avatar you're quite pretty and the white hair looks nice. So go, feel confident, hang out with some old friends. If you become bored or uncomfortable, just leave without an announcement. You might have fun! :)
 
I second all of the above. Buy a new outfit that you feel good in and hold your head high. Look the man who fired you directly in the eye with an icy glare then find some old friends to chat to.
 
If it would cause you emotional distress then pass on it. Life is too short for that. It sounds like you may care more than you say?
 
Okay, thank you all. I have no problem with my old boss, just that I have problems with being there there with the guy that fired me. How am I supposed to act? Say, hello (definitely not going to hug him--we're a hugging type of people) or ignore him? I already had decided that I have to go, just for my old boss. He's been very supportive of me through the years. But, I'm feeling weird. And I would really like not to go, although that's out of the question. It's not like high school reunion which is also in February which I have decided not to go to--but a close friend from the same school year wants me too.

Yes, I'm overthinking it. I'll just go and pretend to be someone else in my mind.


Would it be better if I acted like nothing happened and be really nice to him and make him feel guilty or embarrassed. I can't decide.
 
If he comes around smile, shake his hand then move on. If he says "nice to see you". You say "it's been a while" then move on. If he says "I'm glad you came" you say "everything looks wonderful" then move on.
Really, move on and have a good time. You look great BTW.
 
Would it be better if I acted like nothing happened and be really nice to him and make him feel guilty or embarrassed. I can't decide.
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^^
See, this is what I mean. You're fretting....I hate to see people do that. You can't make him feel anything. I doubt he even cares - certainly not as much as you do. Sorry, but it's true. He should not matter to you.

Stop.thinking.about.this.man. Just stop.​
 
Olivia--love the new avatar and you look adorable. As others have said, if you want to go then by all means, go. Enjoy yourself. Everyone else will be 10 years older, too! (And RadishRose had the best idea, lol.)
 
Olivia said:
Okay, thank you all. I have no problem with my old boss, just that I have problems with being there there with the guy that fired me. How am I supposed to act? Say, hello (definitely not going to hug him--we're a hugging type of people) or ignore him? I already had decided that I have to go, just for my old boss. He's been very supportive of me through the years. But, I'm feeling weird. And I would really like not to go, although that's out of the question. It's not like high school reunion which is also in February which I have decided not to go to--but a close friend from the same school year wants me too.

Yes, I'm overthinking it. I'll just go and pretend to be someone else in my mind.


Would it be better if I acted like nothing happened and be really nice to him and make him feel guilty or embarrassed. I can't decide.
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The man lost any control he had over you the day he fired you, don't let him continue to dominate your thoughts after all of these years.

If you bump into him be polite and move on.

Good luck!
 
applecruncher said:

^^
See, this is what I mean. You're fretting....I hate to see people do that. You can't make him feel anything. I doubt he even cares - certainly not as much as you do. Sorry, but it's true. He should not matter to you.

Stop.thinking.about.this.man. Just stop.​
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I know. I'm being so stupid.
 
I guess you can only reply to so many responses until you can't.

Any how I feel so much better already. I'll take all your encouraging words with me.

And C'est Moi, that would be fun, but probably only before I left and ran out of the room afterwards. :(

This retirement reunion thing is so unexpected and I'm still trying to process this whole idea.
 
Olivia, I agree with Applecruncher, you're definitely overthinking this and putting needless worry and stress in your mind. I'm like Aunt Bea and have no interest in going to such things, but if you have any desire to go to the reunion, you should definitely go.

You were invited by the only person who should matter to you, your former boss who treated you well all those years. Think of it as what it is, a nice get together for you and the other retirees from that company. Don't give the guy who fired you another thought, as Applecruncher said "Stop.thinking.about.this.man. Just stop." If you see him, ignore him, just think of him naked and walk away with a smile on your face. You should just relax and have a good time with the others.

Wear something nice, hold your head up with confidence and stop even thinking about your hair color, it really is so insignificant to your overall personality and character. We all do this to some degree, imagining the worst and worrying about something that never happens. Chill out, think positive, go to the reunion and have a great time!
 
For 30 years I had this woman who was in a managerial position who ended up at the same place of employment as me, 3 times. She was a horrible person and I was so glad when I had had enough of her and I left my last job. One day in Costco I saw her-her hair had a grey stripe down the middle so large it made her look like a skunk and her clothes were disheveled and wrinkled. My husband saw her and asked why a homeless person would shop in Costco. Made my day. Go, don’t worry.
 
Exactly what Butterfly said. Please follow your own instincts for your own peace of mind.

If you were my daughter I would advise you to go, face your object of fear and come away feeling stronger.
But I am not your mother and I don't know you at all.

The thought just occurred to me - what would your mother advise?
 

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