Neighbor Insists I Get Another Cat

debodun

debodun

SF VIP
Location
way upstate in New York, USA
Several times since I had to have my 19 year old cat euthanized in November, a neighbor to whom I also deliver meals, has mentioned that she was anxious to take me to a local shelter so I can find another cat. Taking me to an animal shelter would be like bringing an alcoholic, who's trying to quit, to a liquor store.
 

Last edited:
debodun said:
Several times since I had to have my 19 year old cat euthanized in November, a neighbor to whom I also deliver meals, has mentioned that she was anxious to take me to a local shelter so I can find another cat. Taking me to an animal shelter would be like bringing an alcoholic who's trying to quit to a liquor store.
Click to expand...
Haha, I LOVE that, that's exactly how I would feel! You do what YOU want, it's up to you. Better not have a cat than get one and regret getting one. When I get a pet, it's for life, and that is a BIG 12-20 year responsibility.
 

debodun said:
Several times since I had to have my 19 year old cat euthanized in November, a neighbor to whom I also deliver meals, has mentioned that she was anxious to take me to a local shelter so I can find another cat. Taking me to an animal shelter would be like bringing an alcoholic, who's trying to quit, to a liquor store.
Click to expand...
I completely understand where you are coming from. Going to a shelter would break me down something awful so not a good idea. Having said that, I think the woman’s intention was good . She probably thinks another cat is the answer to all your problems right now but hasn’t thought the whole thing through.

So probably a good intention not quite thought all the way through. I could see myself easily doing this. In fact I’m FAMOUS for offering unsolicited advice that people haven’t asked for. My intentions are most honourable; just badly executed.
 
debodun said:
Several times since I had to have my 19 year old cat euthanized in November, a neighbor to whom I also deliver meals, has mentioned that she was anxious to take me to a local shelter so I can find another cat. Taking me to an animal shelter would be like bringing an alcoholic, who's trying to quit, to a liquor store.
Click to expand...
It's not up to her!
 
Easy for people to give advice from a distance, people who would have no involvement in buying supplies, litter and food for the cat, cleaning up after the cat, providing vaccinations and medical care for the cat, grooming the cat, bringing the cat to and from appointments, etc., etc. Deb, you know better than anyone all that was required in caring for your cat, and if you are willing and able to take on another pet at this time. I think you'll do what is best, don't ever feel pressured from others to do anything where the work and responsibility is yours and yours alone.
 
debodun said:
Several times since I had to have my 19 year old cat euthanized in November, a neighbor to whom I also deliver meals, has mentioned that she was anxious to take me to a local shelter so I can find another cat. Taking me to an animal shelter would be like bringing an alcoholic, who's trying to quit, to a liquor store.
Click to expand...
From the answers on this thread, it appears like this woman is a horrible person. 😱Maybe you should avoid her. Stop delivering meals to her. That’ll teach her to offer suggestions that you don’t like. 🥺LOL!!! People are strange.
 
Keesha said:
From the answers on this thread, it appears like this woman is a horrible person. 😱Maybe you should avoid her. Stop delivering meals to her. That’ll teach her to offer suggestions that you don’t like. 🥺LOL!!! People are strange.
Click to expand...
I don't think she's horrible. I think she feels Deb needs company and wants the thrill of going with her to 'shop' around for a new kitty. But Deb just needs to make her own decision, it's very personal really.
 
SeaBreeze said:
I don't think she's horrible. I think she feels Deb needs company and wants the thrill of going with her to 'shop' around for a new kitty. But Deb just needs to make her own decision, it's very personal really.
Click to expand...
Ok. I guess it could be interpreted that way. We don’t really know what the woman’s intentions are but it is ultimately up to Deb for certain. Perhaps Deb should tell the woman to stop suggesting this idea since she has no interest in going. If this has happened several times, maybe this woman isn’t getting the message she needs to hear. After all, communication is a two way street.
 
Keesha said:
Deb should tell the woman to stop suggesting this idea since she has no interest in going. If this has happened several times, maybe this woman isn’t getting the message she needs to hear. After all, communication is a two way street.
Click to expand...
I agree, since it's happening repeatedly, Deb should tell her that she's not ready and really doesn't want to discuss it anymore. Not sure if that would work if the woman who is having the meals delivered is elderly and sickly, maybe is just making conversation and taking advantage of a short visit with an outside friend. She just may be lonely herself.
 
SeaBreeze said:
I agree, since it's happening repeatedly, Deb should tell her that she's not ready and really doesn't want to discuss it anymore. Not sure if that would work if the woman who is having the meals delivered is elderly and sickly, maybe is just making conversation and taking advantage of a short visit with an outside friend. She just may be lonely herself.
Click to expand...
This sounds reasonable. I agree. If she’s getting meals on wheels then perhaps she doesn’t really have her wits about her. My father thinks he’ soon will be able to play tennis again. Deb might be the only person she sees and could very well be lonely.

We don’t really know why people do or say things. For some reason I think this woman’s intentions were sincere even if they weren’t appreciated.
( understandable also )

Look at us sleuthing detectives 🕵️‍♀️ Lol
 
One of the advantages of being a fully functioning mature adult is the right to make our own decisions in matters such as this. Tell her politely but firmly that you don't want to discuss it anymore.
 
debodun said:
Several times since I had to have my 19 year old cat euthanized in November, a neighbor to whom I also deliver meals, has mentioned that she was anxious to take me to a local shelter so I can find another cat. Taking me to an animal shelter would be like bringing an alcoholic, who's trying to quit, to a liquor store.
Click to expand...
I'd take her to the shelter


...and drop her off
 
I don't think she is a horrible person - I agree whith what others have mentioned - that she thinks she is doing me a favor. This may make HER feel good about trying to help me. Also, I have no say in whom I deliver meals to - if their name is on the delivery route schedule, I have to bring them a meal. In addition, she does have a cat - a big yellow and white one.
 
debodun said:
I don't think she is a horrible person - I agree whith what others have mentioned - that she thinks she is doing me a favor. This may make HER feel good about trying to help me. Also, I have no say in whom I deliver meals to - if their name is on the delivery route schedule, I have to bring them a meal. In addition, she does have a cat - a big yellow and white one.
Click to expand...
That makes the most sense Deb, knowing that she has her own cat, she is probably a cat lover and suggesting you get another one is just done in kindness, thinking about your grief and you may be lonely. Of course, nobody ever on a meal delivery list should be denied that important service, I don't think you would ever do that, even if you had the choice of who to deliver to.
 
I think she probably does have good intentions of some sort, and that she also might think it is a good shared interest for a conversation topic.

I would tell her you'd rather not talk about it anymore, and then, quickly suggest a different topic,
that you could say that you are more interested in....
such as, tell her you'd rather hear how her day is going, or something like that.
Or what she thinks of the weather today.... or some other topic you might ask her about, to get her onto something else to say.
 
Deb, I would probably be telling you to get another cat too, hoping you would be happy with one. And, there's a lot of them in shelters needing a home. But, after saying it once or twice, I would stop suggesting it. She means well, so do like Kaila said, just say ''I don't want another cat'' and quikly change the subject.
 
SeaBreeze said:
That makes the most sense Deb, knowing that she has her own cat, she is probably a cat lover and suggesting you get another one is just done in kindness, thinking about your grief and you may be lonely. Of course, nobody ever on a meal delivery list should be denied that important service, I don't think you would ever do that, even if you had the choice of who to deliver to.
Click to expand...
You're not a true cat lover unless you have a few. 😻 😹❤
 


Back
Top