Neighbor Problem - What Would You Do?

J

J-Kat

Member
Nothing earth shattering but it's been gnawing at me that I may be looking at it all wrong. A few years ago I told my neighbors they could take my newspaper that I have delivered daily after they had complained about how expensive the paper was and had cut back to weekends only.

Since I typically read the paper on my ipad I seldom even look at the printed paper and it just goes into the recycling bin. I am more friends with the wife of this couple but the significant other is nice enough.

The paper delivery lady puts the paper by my side door but I noticed my security camera did not show the paper being delivered or the neighbor picking it up for the last few days. Thinking I should call the paper office to check on the problem I first called the wife of the couple to see if they knew anything. The neighbor said her SO told the delivery lady to put the paper by his garage door so he would not have to walk over to my door to get it. She said she thought he had asked me about it first but he did not. I told her it was okay.

But, after thinking about it, I don't think I like it. Number one, he didn't ask me about a different arrangement, number 2, the delivery person should not have agreed without checking with me, and number 3, I pay for the darn paper - nearly $40/month - so it should come to my door. Am I being silly or should I just leave it be?
 

J-Kat said:
Nothing earth shattering but it's been gnawing at me that I may be looking at it all wrong. A few years ago I told my neighbors they could take my newspaper that I have delivered daily after they had complained about how expensive the paper was and had cut back to weekends only. Since I typically read the paper on my ipad I seldom even look at the printed paper and it just goes into the recycling bin. I am more friends with the wife of this couple but the significant other is nice enough. The paper delivery lady puts the paper by my side door but I noticed my security camera did not show the paper being delivered or the neighbor picking it up for the last few days. Thinking I should call the paper office to check on the problem I first called the wife of the couple to see if they knew anything. The neighbor said her SO told the delivery lady to put the paper by his garage door so he would not have to walk over to my door to get it. She said she thought he had asked me about it first but he did not. I told her it was okay. But, after thinking about it, I don't think I like it. Number one, he didn't ask me about a different arrangement, number 2, the delivery person should not have agreed without checking with me, and number 3, I pay for the darn paper - nearly $40/month - so it should come to my door. Am I being silly or should I just leave it be?
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What a Moron.
 
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I'd call the newspaper and ask them if they planned on billing the neighbor for the paper since the carrier is delivering it to them.

Nothing like being taken advantage of.

Why are you wasting money on a delivered newspaper anyway, since you read it on-line? I'd just cancel the subscription and say nothing to the neighbor. If she would ask, I'd tell her it was a waste of money for you to subscribe to it when you read it on-line, just like they could do.
 
Would the cost for the newspaper service go down if you had them stop delivering the paper service to you? If not, I would just tell the neighbor that I want to read my newspaper from now on. If you don't want to do the above, I would suggest talking to the neighbor about this and explain you did not like him having the delivery changed without your permission.
 
Gemma said:
I'd call the newspaper and ask them if they planned on billing the neighbor for the paper since the carrier is delivering it to them.

Nothing like being taken advantage of.

Why are you wasting money on a delivered newspaper anyway, since you read it on-line? I'd just cancel the subscription and say nothing to the neighbor. If she would ask, I'd tell her it was a waste of money for you to subscribe to it when you read it on-line, just like they could do.
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Everything you said .... why should anyone pay for something they don't want, and now don't even get?
Just stop the service! Problem solved.
 
What does it really matter if the paper that you willing gift to your neighbor is dropped off at your door, or his. You are giving it away. Granted your neighbor should have asked for your permission to change deposit areas, but I doubt he had any insidious intentions. You could mention it to him, but I wouldn't make a big deal about it. You seem to have a good relationship with your neighbors (?), so why jeopardize it over a trivial matter? If you don't need the print version any more, then don't get it. If it's a freebee with your online subscription, and you give it to your neighbor, does it matter?
 
Lawrence said:
Would the cost for the newspaper service go down if you had them stop delivering the paper service to you?
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I was wondering the same. It's never good to feel someone is taking advantage of you, which they are. I'm just wondering about retaliation, especially if you live alone.

If it would be cheaper to just have the online paper, get rid of the physical paper, I would do so. You could tell the neighbors it's an affordability issue.
 
I think where a problem starts is when a person does something as a kindness and the recipient starts to consider it as an entitlement that they don’t have to pay for. IMO, best suggestion is to see if you can get the on line version only for reduced price and and drop the printed paper copy altogether, and if you can, tell the neighbor you’ve decided to drop the print version.
 
J-Kat said:
I told her it was okay.
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Since you already discussed it with the neighbor and said it was okay, plus you didn't mind it when he was coming to your house to get it, I don't think you should stop the paper just because you feel indignant. I do agree that the paper carrier should not have agreed without your permission, and of course the neighbor should have asked you first. On the other hand, if you now make a fuss about it and ask the neighbor to come fetch it, the neighbor might feel bad every time in the future while he walks over to fetch it.
I personally would feel awkward going onto a neighbor's property and taking their paper, I'd feel like people who see might think I'm stealing it and I'd feel self-conscious. So maybe it was an uncomfortable feeling for him.
For me it would be an extremely awkward situation because I do not feel comfortable telling others what my feelings are about our inter-personal relations. In the past I usually give more and more and then get resentful and abruptly end the relationship (such as with the girls I once paid to clean my horse's paddock and I kept increasing their pay, then another girl at the stable offered to do it cheaper and I knew she was in real financial need so I switched to her and was glad to be able to have a reason to stop paying the other girls the too-generous amount even though I was the one that kept increasing it).
If you can't just let it go and be glad about your extraordinary generosity to your neighbor, probably you should just go talk to both of them and explain how you feel.
 
How much extra are you paying for the paper copy? If it’s nothing, I’d just let the whole thing go. If it’s extra, perhaps you could talk to them, explain that you didn’t know the difference and ask them to make up the difference.
 
J-Kat said:
Nothing earth shattering but it's been gnawing at me that I may be looking at it all wrong. A few years ago I told my neighbors they could take my newspaper that I have delivered daily after they had complained about how expensive the paper was and had cut back to weekends only.

Since I typically read the paper on my ipad I seldom even look at the printed paper and it just goes into the recycling bin. I am more friends with the wife of this couple but the significant other is nice enough.

The paper delivery lady puts the paper by my side door but I noticed my security camera did not show the paper being delivered or the neighbor picking it up for the last few days. Thinking I should call the paper office to check on the problem I first called the wife of the couple to see if they knew anything. The neighbor said her SO told the delivery lady to put the paper by his garage door so he would not have to walk over to my door to get it. She said she thought he had asked me about it first but he did not. I told her it was okay.

But, after thinking about it, I don't think I like it. Number one, he didn't ask me about a different arrangement, number 2, the delivery person should not have agreed without checking with me, and number 3, I pay for the darn paper - nearly $40/month - so it should come to my door. Am I being silly or should I just leave it be?
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The significant other needs to know that this is not okay for the very reasons given here. Personally, I might just tell the SO that you are sorry but you are cancelling the print editions. It was quite brazen of him to have done this, in my opinion.
 
You all make good points about this situation. After giving it some more thought I think it is the fact that he didn’t talk to me before he changed the set up and just assumed I would be alright with it is what got me somewhat unhappy. I should have remembered that this is something he would do. It’s just his personality, bossy, knows more than anyone else, etc. I offered the paper (though I didn’t mention a reason) basically in return for little kindnesses he does like pulling the trash cart back to the house on trash day or blowing leaves and other debris out of our adjoining driveways. I value their friendship so I will not bring it up unless he does. I don’t know if I can get a digital paper access only. I’m sure it would be less expensive so I need to check.
 
J-Kat said:
Nothing earth shattering but it's been gnawing at me that I may be looking at it all wrong. A few years ago I told my neighbors they could take my newspaper that I have delivered daily after they had complained about how expensive the paper was and had cut back to weekends only.

Since I typically read the paper on my ipad I seldom even look at the printed paper and it just goes into the recycling bin. I am more friends with the wife of this couple but the significant other is nice enough.

The paper delivery lady puts the paper by my side door but I noticed my security camera did not show the paper being delivered or the neighbor picking it up for the last few days. Thinking I should call the paper office to check on the problem I first called the wife of the couple to see if they knew anything. The neighbor said her SO told the delivery lady to put the paper by his garage door so he would not have to walk over to my door to get it. She said she thought he had asked me about it first but he did not. I told her it was okay.

But, after thinking about it, I don't think I like it. Number one, he didn't ask me about a different arrangement, number 2, the delivery person should not have agreed without checking with me, and number 3, I pay for the darn paper - nearly $40/month - so it should come to my door. Am I being silly or should I just leave it be?
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Cancel
 
J-Kat said:
Nothing earth shattering but it's been gnawing at me that I may be looking at it all wrong. A few years ago I told my neighbors they could take my newspaper that I have delivered daily after they had complained about how expensive the paper was and had cut back to weekends only.
Click to expand...
We have a similar arrangement with a neighbor, but the paper gets delivered to us, we read it, and only then we toss it on their porch. If I were you I would call Customer Service at the paper company and insist that the paper be delivered to YOU, and only You, and not your neighbor. If that doesn't work for the neighbor, then too bad, maybe they aren't such a good neighbor?
 
Maybe just tell them that you have to cut back on expenses and will be cancelling the subscription in a few months.


I mean, you can cancel. But if you do, no matter how you do it, it is likely they are going to know you cancelled it because you did not like the way they were interacting with you.

Having a neighbor pissed off at you...that becomes a HUGE problem.

So, if you cancel, I would take some time to do a few overtly nice things for them... keep the situation calm and friendly.

Otherwise, you might make an enemy...and that will make your life totally miserable.

You know the old Dr. Phil saying..."You can be right, or you can be happy."

I would manage the situation in whatever way you think will keep the peace and not create some tension that will make your life a lot worse than the neighbor's weird idea in his head about getting the paper delivered directly to him.

We have good neighbors and I do like them. All very nice people.

But I am always, consciously, trying to do nice things for everyone in the neighborhood...so we keep the peace.

If I see their garbage cans blowing around in the street...I go get them and put them back. If a dog gets loose, I go get him and bring him back. Well, Ruby is a girl dog. She is the big culprit on the block.

I try to keep the place as clean as I can.

If I go out to remove some trash that blew onto my lawn, I will pick up some from the neighbors at the same time...

You know, kill them with kindness.

I bought my neighbor's kid a red clown nose. One of my neighbor's shoveled snow off our sidewalk...bought them some cookies from the bakery.

You know, keep everything pleasant.

And, I have definitely had that not work in the past. If someone is really a jerk, is really evil...sometimes nothing will work.
 
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