Neighbor's screaming grandchild.....

Keesha said:
I was referring to Graham’s situation in particular.
I’m still sticking to the fact that the OP made no indication that she thought this child was in any danger.

If she could hear this child crying ‘that’ easily then she could probably hear abuse happening if there was some. We also don’t know how long this has been going on for. Days, weeks, months, years?There’s not enough information and the information stated refers more to the annoyance than concern.
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Sorry, I misunderstood what you were referring to before.
 

Keesha said:
How would you feel if your neighbours called CPS on you because your child had 6 months of colic.
I’m not a mom but I’ve heard plenty of screaming babies. It’s not ‘that’ unusual.
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I would feel that my neighbors give a damn. And I'd be glad there are people who do.
Calling CPS doesn't automatically result in a child being removed from the home. An investigation that reveals a medical issue is better than the child ending up on the news after his body is found (as frequently happens).
 
grahamg said:
I think its worth offering them some sympathy too, as they're obviously closer to the noise being generated. These days with conditions such as ADHD the child could maybe be in that kind of complicated situation, and the grandparents are trying to give the parents a break from the constant noise.

My own child screamed more or less constantly from 6pm in the evening to mignight, up until she was six months old, (a condition called "six months colic"). We tried to get whatever medical assistance there was back then, and the choices were dope the healthy child up with drugs, or accept she'd grow out of it. We chose the latter, of course, and were comforted by the fact she was healthy, and slept well after the evening ordeal, (poor neighbours had to suffer a bit, but the house was detached, one neighbour elderly and pretty deaf, so she was fine, and the other two seemed to understand our problem).
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This was my daughter as well. Believe me, the relatives hate it too. We were in a duplex, husband was a sgt neighbor was a private. Too darn bad for them. Lol. She eventually, got over it, thank God.
 
win231 said:
I would feel that my neighbors give a damn. And I'd be glad there are people who do.
Calling CPS doesn't automatically result in a child being removed from the home. An investigation that reveals a medical issue is better than the child ending up on the news after his body is found (as frequently happens).
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Once again, I was asking Grahamg ‘his’ screaming baby with colic.
 
Ronni said:
The problem though is that you don’t know if it’s a wild goose chase or not. Non stop screaming is very much a red flag in my opinion.
So whose job is it to determine if there’s an actual situation or not? CPS or the police won’t know to investigate if they’re not called.
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I did foster care for 20 plus years in 2 different states, screaming is not unusual IMO.
 
It could be a severe case of separation anxiety. I was once living in a condo where the people across from me had their young child (around 3 yrs. old) living through the week with her grandmother. On the weekends, she was with her parents - my neighbours. The child cried and screamed all night, all weekend, every weekend. She obviously preferred being with her grandmother. I engaged them in conversation, and suggested we take her down to the lobby for a little change. She liked that, and ran around a bit. I think if they'd found a playground with swings and a slide, it would have allowed her to release some energy. Perhaps that might be suggested to these grandparents. Then again, playgrounds may be off limits due to COVID-19.
 
Aunt Marg said:
Personally, unless I had a close relationship with the people in question, I wouldn't even consider knocking on their door or approaching them regarding, as most people I know are not at all open to, receptive of, or tolerant of such forwardness by strangers.
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I would, and have, said to people ”that kid sure has a great pair of lungs”. It gently opens a conversation as to why the kids screams.
 
Aneeda72 said:
This was my daughter as well. Believe me, the relatives hate it too. We were in a duplex, husband was a sgt neighbor was a private. Too darn bad for them. Lol. She eventually, got over it, thank God.
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And once again, I’m not a mom but I’ve baby sat plenty of babies with colic and they ALL scream.
 
To the OP, my suggestion to you is call either the authorities (police) or make a call to CPS.

Overworked, swamped, understaffed, that's not for the general public to concern themselves with.

If it were me, CPS would have one more call on their hands to address.
 
Colleen said:
Just curious how you would handle a neighbor that's very close to our back yard (we're only separated by a 10' right-of-way) that has their 4 year old grandchild stay with them several days a week and screams constantly. Would you just ignore it? Believe me, it's very nerve wracking. There isn't any barrier between our properties that would block some of it out. We had an estimate last week on having a block wall built but it's way over our budget. I dread this summer.
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@Colleen , can you explain what you mean when you say "screaming" constantly? Is the kid yelling at his grandparents, is the child angry, is the child demanding things? Is he crying or yelling? Can you tell what he is saying?

Are they outside with him when he's screaming? I can't give my opinion unless I get a better idea of what's going on there. If they were out with him, I might just go outside and ask him, what's the matter buddy? Are you friendly at all with the neighbor? I would probably just talk to the neighbor if it was really excessive.

Kids are kids though, if it's just normal loud behavior, I'd learn to deal with it if needed. Definitely wouldn't call the authorities for something like this, as already mentioned, they have real abuse cases to deal with, not just a bratty kid.
 
C'est Moi said:
I have a friend who works for CPS. They don't have time to deal with the hundreds of actual abuse calls they get each day so I'm pretty sure a child making noise would not be a priority. Do you think these agencies have nothing better to do than handle silly neighborhood complaints? If you want to "bring it to the attention of the people", then walk over there and talk to them like a grownup.
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Hmm.... My daughter was a CPS field agent/ investigator, so I can tell you, for a fact, that every, single complaint has to be investigated. Yeah, they don't have time, I agree, but they must investigate each complaint in the order they come in, nonetheless. She got out, right before the stuff hit the fan, in the county she was working in.
 
If its going on constantly then something is not right. Calling CPS would make them find out what is bothering the child. It might be autism etc but they could be forced to try and get some help. CPS could make them get some help for the child and the adults also. She probably has a sore throat from all of that screaming and needs some cough drops or cough syrup. Something is making that child scream. Should be looked at from all sides to help the child.
 
Aunt Marg said:
To the OP, my suggestion to you is call either the authorities (police) or make a call to CPS.

Overworked, swamped, understaffed, that's not for the general public to concern themselves with.

If it were me, CPS would have one more call on their hands to address.
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Don't forget though, there was a time when neighbours knew one another so well, there would be no questions in the minds of many neighbours what might be the problem with the child. They'd probably have "shared" to an extent, the care of their children, with each ones running in and out of their houses, and visits to and from wider family members would have created a wider safety net too. Those people, if the neighbour spoke to them, or knew where they lived, could provide an avenue to "have a quiet word", before even thinking of involving professional people or the police.

In the days of lockdown, a lot of this obviously isn't possible, and our UK government, and other agencies are saying how acutely aware they are of the dangers, with the enormous numbers of " blended families" adding another dynamic. What are those professional to do, given the pandemic, enter the home, creating risk, remove the child, have a hearing whilst the child is kept somewhere else, then look for more permanent foster carers, all things with degrees of risk aren't they, so long as Coronavirus is around, and "granny, and grandpa" anywhere else can't see their children/grandchildren.
 
Keesha said:
And a third time, my comments were about colicky babies, not the 4 year old child.
Colleen did not mention this was happening week after week.
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"a neighbor that's very close to our back yard (we're only separated by a 10' right-of-way) that has their 4 year old grandchild stay with them several days a week and screams constantly".

In light of the OP using has, in addition to, stay with them several days a week, I see that as regular weekly visits, not as a single one time event, and highly doubt the OP would make a fuss to the point of starting a dedicated topic on the matter, had the event happened a single one time.

At any rate, until the OP revisits this topic and provides more info related to, I won't be adding anything further to this discussion.
 
Colleen said:
Just curious how you would handle a neighbor that's very close to our back yard (we're only separated by a 10' right-of-way) that has their 4 year old grandchild stay with them several days a week and screams constantly. Would you just ignore it? Believe me, it's very nerve wracking. There isn't any barrier between our properties that would block some of it out. We had an estimate last week on having a block wall built but it's way over our budget. I dread this summer.
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I think the way this OP has described the situation we're a way away from involving police or other services. "Considering building a block wall" doesn't indicate a feeling there's an emergency does it(?).

I can appreciate their difficulty too, and know of few solutions or even ideas to suggest. We'd all like to see the child be happier, no doubt including the suffering grandparents mentioned, but in this country, during lockdown, even leaving their property for exercise with the child for more than an hour is against the rules.
 
grahamg said:
Don't forget though, there was a time when neighbours knew one another so well, there would be no questions in the minds of many neighbours what might be the problem with the child. They'd probably have "shared" to an extent, the care of their children, with each ones running in and out of their houses, and visits to and from wider family members would have created a wider safety net too. Those people, if the neighbour spoke to them, or knew where they lived, could provide an avenue to "have a quiet word", before even thinking of involving professional people or the police.

In the days of lockdown, a lot of this obviously isn't possible, and our UK government, and other agencies are saying how acutely aware they are of the dangers, with the enormous numbers of " blended families" adding another dynamic. What are those professional to do, given the pandemic, enter the home, creating risk, remove the child, have a hearing whilst the child is kept somewhere else, then look for more permanent foster carers, all things with degrees of risk aren't they, so long as Coronavirus is around, and "granny, and grandpa" anywhere else can't see their children/grandchildren.
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IMO nothing should trump or circumvent the best interests of a child, that being their health and safety.
 
Aunt Marg said:
IMO nothing should trump or circumvent the best interests of a child, that being their health and safety.
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Ahhhh, you're maybe better having any discussions on "the best interests of the child" (or BIC mantra as I call it), on the "It takes a village to raise a child" thread.

I can then bore you with the words of Mnookin, and others (who said, "deciding what may be in the best interests of the child, is no less a question than the meaning of life"!).

I've read nothing to suggest to me this child is at risk from a health and safety perspective, but you're applying a different standard there, as you may know, " The harm standard" used to justify removal of children from their families, (a much stiffer test).
 
treeguy64 said:
Hmm.... My daughter was a CPS field agent/ investigator, so I can tell you, for a fact, that every, single complaint has to be investigated. Yeah, they don't have time, I agree, but they must investigate each complaint in the order they come in, nonetheless. She got out, right before the stuff hit the fan, in the county she was working in.
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I did not state that the complaint would not be investigated, but unless there are more serious allegations than "noise", I doubt that phoned-in report would go very far. The CPS would need a lot more information than "screaming", and if the OP believes the child is in immediate danger why not call the police who would then contact CPS if need be.

Most responses on this thread are making a lot of assumptions about what is actually happening, and since the OP hasn't been back to clarify there is no point in continuing the CPS argument. Seems like people are too anxious to "report to the authorities!" when we don't even know what the hell is actually happening there. Maybe some people just don't like hearing children; that is no reason to waste the time of CPS.
 
Definitely could be autism. Ever since my nephew (who thankfully doesn't scream) was vaccine injured and regressed into autism, I've met people in the autism community who have to deal with this. My perspective on children having meltdowns in public has completely changed. Sometimes I can tell by the parents behavior that it's poor parenting, but I also see concerned parents trying to comfort a child who obviously has problems. A lot of kids with autism have sensory issues and live in a little bubble of hell due to that.
 
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